Checking in :)

meg_koole

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

We are in the end stages of our final cycle (IUI is tomorrow).  I am ready to be done and am excited about what direction life is going to go for us.

We did our mandatory adoption class last week (2 8 hour days).  It was pretty good.  Learned a lot about their processes.  Learned a lot about adoption in general.  Made a few friends.

I had originally thought that if my cousin was staying here (only until August) that we would have to wait until she moved out to do our home study stuff.  I asked the director of the program about it and she said since it was temporary their was no reason to delay, so I am glad I asked.

SO, once its all said and done we will probably start all of our assessments after the 4th of July and finish up with the final step being the home study and then go active!

I am so anxious and excited.  While we were doing the class one of the social workers had to leave to go meet with a BM that had decided once she went into the hospital that she wanted to make an adoption plan.  It is absolutely mind blowing that if we were active, there is even a chance that we could have been bringing home a baby next week.  Really put things into perspective.

I have been having a hard time mentally preparing for that.  I think it is the IF talking.  I feel like we try to shield ourselves by not talking about having a baby in the house (parenting styles, what we want to do for the nursery, etc).

So my question for you guys.  Did you go ahead and discuss those things, set up a nursery, etc once you were active, or did you wait? 

MamaB2009

We talked about parenting styles before we got married.  I think that's a biggie and I couldn't imagine marrying someone who felt differently about how we plan on parenting our children.

But yes, we bought nursery furniture and necessities (we waited to paint/decorate until we had a match b/c we wanted to decorate based on gender), we started buying diapers and putting $10-20 on a Target giftcard everytime we went to Target for formula and such.  We always actively talked about having a baby in the house though, even when we were going through IF treatments.

MrsKolasa

Thanks for the update, I've been wondering how you're doing!

We didn't set up a nursery until we were matched. However, we did have the basics. Carseat, pack'n'play, etc... We figured we could always buy stuff if we had a last minute placement.

YAY for moving forward and good luck with your IUI tomorrow!! 

ndgrl

We were actually just talking about this yesterday on our way home from our second homestudy appointment.  I am starting to get to the point when I am comfortable buying some stuff for a baby (crib, carseat--basics) and have started to research them, where I am feeling more hopeful than I ever did during IF.

 I brought up buying a crib before we match to DH, and he was shocked because he had never thought about doing it.  I think he is still really afraid to believe that this can happen because it has been so hard.

 I tend to want to buy some things so I'm not caught totally by surprise if we have a quick match.  Also because I guess I want to experience some sort of pleasurable experience of anticipating our child...but it is also kind of scary to think about "committing" to belief that we will have a child, I guess.  Like that will jinx it. 

silliestbunny

Yea for moving forward!!

The home study is a good reason to start talking about parenting styles.  During interviews, you'll be asked basic questions.  I know my husband (who is an English teacher!) did not have the vernacular to discuss childrearing!!  Don't stress about it... but do spend some time talking about styles, etc so you are ready for the HS.

RE: the nursery and gear, it's really a personal choice.  We didn't do much until we were matched.  However, we set up our nursery and the match fell apart after the birth of the baby so we were that couple grieving a loss w/a nursery set up.  It can happen....

If you don't feel like dealing, remember, Amazon and Diapers.com deliver most items within 48 hrs.... and friends are always willing to help!  So you could argue that waiting until the baby was born might work for you!  Thank goodness for online shopping.... and good friends!

Jenn is Silly

SO excited to hear your journey is moving along! I picked things up here and there before we found our BM. Once we were matched we picked up basic things to begin with and about 4 weeks later (2 weeks before DD was due) threw caution to the wind and went nuts! I wanted a more expensive diaper bag, and am SO glad I bought it while waiting! Buying all things baby within 6 weeks made DH a little nuts and there's no way he'd have let me buy my PPB then

militarywife2b

Since we have been trying to get pregnant since forever we have been discussing our parenting views for years. We are doing foster to adopt and part of our homestudy was showing that we at least had a bed for the child. That was the tip of the iceberg for us once we had the crib and twin bed in the room it spiraled into an entire nursery being put together. Its in a Winnie the Pooh theme one of my favorites and a gender neutral theme as well.