Intro :)

mrs.jenRN

Hello everyone! I am so glad I found this board! I've been in TN/TB for years now and I never knew this board existed. I have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. I had planned for a natural birth, but as you all can relate, it didn't end up the way I had even remotely planned. The last few weeks of my pregnancy I watched my BP slowly creep up. One night at work (I work 7pm-7am) I got an unusual headache so I had one of my coworkers take my BP. It was in the 150's/90's. I had my 38.5 week appt that morning so I just took it easy at work and went in to see him. It was 160'/100 and I told him what my BP was at work. He told me to go straight back to the hospital (I work where I gave birth) and it was time for an induction. He already knew I really didn't want an induction or c/s, but I decided that I didn't want to end up in an emergency with pre-e and a c/s under general anesthesia so I agreed to it.

The induction went great. I got pitocin and a cook catheter (OUCH). The contractions from the pit weren't bad at all, but it got too uncomfortable lying in bed so I got an epi around 9pm (they started the pit at noonish). I'm not gonna lie, I loved that epidural! I could barely tolerate the internal checks so it made it a lot easier for the doc to see just how well I was progressing. Things were going great and I started to push around midnight. I was completely exhausted at that point because I had worked the night before (and slept like crap before I went in) and barely slept while I was in L&D. I pushed as hard as I could and she wouldn't come out. She keep turtling, which one of my L&D friends told me that when that happens the baby really won't fit through the pelvis. After 1.5 hours of pushing, I decided on the c/s. I just couldn't do it anymore and her head started to swell from all the pushing and not being able to fit. I was devastated. My H was terrified and actually ended up passing out, which was so scary. Luckily he was fine but that was so awful!

I can't tell you how disappointed, sad, and angry I was (and still am, but not as bad) with myself and my body. I am jealous of all of the women who got to push their babies out. So many of my friends are having babies now and I am one of the few who had a c/s. I know I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, but the feelings of inadequacy are still there. I am so thankful that BFing has gone so well for us and that my recovery went went smoothly. I know it could've been so much worse.

My doctor is completely on board for a VBAC, which makes me feel better. Zoe was 8lb 15 oz so I was pretty disappointed I couldn't push her out. Our families tend to have big babies anyway, and very few women in my family had c/s. Zoe had low blood sugar when she was born and had to stay in the nursery for 2 days on a sugar IV drip. Maybe I had GD and for whatever reason my glucose test was normal. Who knows. For the next one I am thinking about following a stricter, healthier diet (I didn't gain that much but I am overweight to begin with) and maybe the next baby will be smaller.

Thanks for reading my long, drawn out story. My doc was really pushing for a c/s in the 3rd tri bc of the size of Zoe, but I stood my ground. There was no way I was going to not at least try. He was right that she wasn't going to fit through my pelvis, but if I hadn't tried I never would've forgiven myself. I had awesome nurses (one was a midwife in England before coming here, and the other was a doula) and they really helped me try to deliver vaginally. H is completely supportive of a VBAC, too.

iris427

Welcome!

I had a similar c/s story and went onto have a VBAC.  I was also told that my first baby was too big to fit, but my VBAC baby was even bigger and he fit just fine!  

I'm confused about the "turtling" comment.  What did your L&D friend mean by turtling?  True turtling occurs during a shoulder dystocia but you didn't have that happen, right?  Is your friend talking about the way a baby's head will descend during a push and then recede back between pushes?  If so, that is totally normal and it doesn't mean your baby is too big for your pelvis at all.

I can completely relate to your feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, etc. regarding your c/s.  It took me a while but I have mostly made peace with my c/s.  It gets better--hang in there. 

cchill01

Welcom.  I also had a similar story and very similar feelings of disappointment and anger.  It gets better with time and hopefully even better with a VBAC (fingers crossed).  Try to take it easy on yourself and work on healing.  I was also overweight, so I've been working on losing the extra lbs and building muscle endurance, so I can give myself the best possible opportunity for a successful VBAC.  Good luck

pinkmoonlight

Your story is a splitting image of what my c/s was like. I was induced, got an epi. Pushed for 2 hours DD would move down, slide up, move down, slide up. Then she went in distress, I had an emergency c/s. I was told the same thing my pelvis was to small and my baby too big. She was 9 pounds 6 ounces.

DH and I are wanting to try again soon for baby number 2. In April I had a consult with another OB who will let me VBAC if I want. His concerns was that while I gained only 17 pounds with DD in his words minimum weight, that chances are I will have another big baby. In any case I was also significantly overweight at 202 when I first got pregnant. Since having my daughter I have lost close to 30 pounds and continue to work on getting to a healthier weight. My GD test also came back negative, but I am also planning on following a stricter diet next time. One other thing I plan on doing is also seeing a chiropractor. In fact I plan on starting to go next month before I actually get pregnant.