Another update. ((AND AGAIN))

MrsBeckO · June 2011

We're about 30 mins from the hospital still. My brother is there with my dad but doesn't know what to say/ask the doctors. He did tell us that our dad came out of the surgery ok but they only got part of the clot. He's still sleeping but the last time the drs checked on him he hadn't regained any function on the left side of his body. I'm afraid of what we'll find when we get there.. What his condition will be or what the doctors say. I dont know how to handle stuff like this. What to do? What to ask?

Update:

Sitting in ICU with my sisters. He looks like crap, but he seems to be doing well (by doctor's standards, not mine). He knows what is going on and acknowledges what is said, was a bit testy with the nurse about his catheter, which is a good sign.

We were finally able to talk to his doctor and the goals right now are to get a follow-up MRI (which is in progress right now), get a physical therapy eval and speak with his primary cardiologist to determine what caused this (the meds he was on should have prevented a stroke) and decide his care plan moving forward.

My dad has been complaining of crushing chest pain, so they are trying to manage that for him. He's basically been asleep the whole time we've been here, but he is able to coherently answer questions - even though his speech is still slurred and his left side of his face is not moving. He also has not regained function of his left side limbs. Which visibly frustrates him and is painful to watch.

They will have him here for at least a week and best case scenario right now would be discharge in a week with home health care and "rigorous rehab" to try and regain his function. So fingers crossed.

I totally lost my marbles when we got here and I saw him in the bed. Like, ugly cry, lost it. But I've collected myself and have managed to speak with the nurses and doctor without looking like a complete lunatic.

Thanks to whoever suggested writing everything down.. I've been keeping notes on my macbook and good thing, because I have already had to reference it a couple times to remember what's been talked about.

L L CG · June 2011

I'm so sorry.

Two years ago my dad had a massive heart attack and then a stroke 5 days later. I think the best thing you can do right now is just be present for your dad. Kiss him, tell him you love him. Remind him that he is strong. I used to hug my dad and whisper in his ear that he was strong and I knew he'd get better. Positive thinking and encouragement is powerful! It took a week before my dad could understand us and about 2 weeks before he could speak to us, but he knew we were there the whole time and I think it was comforting to him to know he was supported when his body was betraying him.

The thing about asking questions right now is that they aren't going to have a lot of answers. I had too many questions and the answer was always just wait and see. I asked if he would be able to work again, when he would be able to talk, if he could understand us, if his personality would be different, if his speech would be affected, etc. etc. They won't know the answers to those questions until a few weeks out, unfortunately. And, just to let you know, my dad was 69 at the time of his heart attack/stroke, and he went back to work full time after 6 weeks, has the same personality, fully understands conversations and lives a very full life. He has labored speech at times, but we've been very pleased with his recovery.

I wish you and your dad the best. HUGS.

SareBear30 · June 2011

The FB app on my phone is going me trouble, or I would have posted on your status earlier. I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to your dad. I can't add anything additional to LLCG's amazing post. That is so awesome that he knew y'all were there! Positive thoughts and prayers are remarkably strong and can make a big difference- I'll be sending mine your way! Big hugs!

Taytee · June 2011

From a practical aspect - In couldn't agree more with L L. They really won't know this early in what the long term looks like. From a medical aspect, here are some good questions to ask.

What is the plan for today? What is the plan for tomorrow?
How are we measuring the success of the surgery?
What complications should we be prepared for?
What are you doing to reduce the risk of those complications?
What is that tube for? (Don't be afraid to ask what is what)
Is there anything I can do to help in his recovery right now? Should we stimulate him yet? Should we let him rest?

Many times immediately following surgery, there needs to be a very minimum of stimulation to allow recovery on the brain. That means NOT asking the patient if they know your name or sometimes anything more than a light touch to the hand (don't ask them to squeeze etc).

Keribells · June 2011

Keep a tablet/notebook and write everything down- questions, answers, etc.

nanann · June 2011

**best thoughts for you and your dad**

Just wanted to add that the fact that they didn't get the whole clot isn't necessarily awful, despite it sounding very scary. I know with my sister's stroke she just did meds, no surgery, and the clot disappeared over a long period of time. (I believe it took about 6 months.)

And they really won't know much until he's awake and you all can see for yourselves.

BoxerMomma · June 2011

no advice, i just wanted to tell you how sorry i am that yall are going through this. im sure just being together right now is a big comfort to everyone in the family.

Keribells · June 2011

Glad it is helping you B. I always tell my chemo patients to write stuff down b/c you might think of a question and forget what it was when the dr comes around or even be overwhelmed when the dr is there talking that you don't remember later.

angelaggie · June 2011

I'm so sorry all of this has happened! Lots of prayers for your family.

I wrote things down a lot and made schedules of things when my Aunt was in the hospital for chemo. I think it helped me maintain some sort of control more than anything, but also helps everyone around you when you hear multiple different things from the nurses and doctors.

Keep us updated and please let us know if you need anything here in Austin done.

Mainer-in-Texas · June 2011

I am sorry this happened to your dad and am sending out lots of good thoughts and prayers for him and your family.

Temp13436125005166 · June 2011

I'm so sorry Becky. Sending lots of prayers and good thoughts to you and your Dad. My MIL had a stoke either during or immediately after her cardiac ablation surgery (1 year ago). It was very scary, but she's doing great now.

mrs.wildman · June 2011

SO sorry you're going through this difficult time. I agree with LL - she's spot on. My Daddy had a surprise quad bypass last fall - fortunately caught before having a heart attack. After his surgery we were told that prior to having the procedure he was a ticking time bomb - his heart was so blocked that it literally would have exploded and would have been fatal. What a wake up call this was to my family. It was hard for me to leave his bedside - I didn't realize how much I needed him to stay in my life and how much I loved him. To this day, I can't say I love you enough. Right now, while he's in the hospital under Dr. care, that is all you can do - be there and love him.