Update:

gabbeyh

I agreed to stay at my parents house for the weekend. I'm no help to Jeff at home. I'm still on diuretics which make me spacey and tired. I slept most of the afternoon, which is good because I had to admit that I hadn't slept much in the past two months. I need to make it through the night with going to the ER...first step. I have some anxiety medication to take but it turns me into a zombie. I'm trying to hold off but at least here I don't have to feel bad about crashing. I've been in contact with Jeff and I don't feel as angry anymore. I talked to the kids over FaceTime on our iPhones. I've eaten for the first time in days. It was only a handful of random things but it's a start. Baby steps. We are working on finding a therapist that is in network but have someone out of network for now. I want to be happy and want to want to see my baby. I want to get rid of the feeling of impending doom. It is going to take time, medicine, and therapy. I was diagnosed with PPA-postpartum anxiety- that was further exacerbated by the diagnosis of heart failure. (I have a congenital heart defect and can always teeter on the cusp of heart failure. My cardiologist insists that I will fully recover so I'm trying to believe him and focus on feeling better.). Tomorrow is a new day. My Mom wants to take me to a store to get a new outfit since I have NO clothes that fit. I know it may not be permanent but I'm down 35 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight from the diuretics. My cardiologist recommended a healthier lifestyle with less salt, more exercise...etc so I'm hoping I'm able to keep the weight off. Sorry, on my iPad so no paragraphs.

pamela-matt

I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending hugs and prayers. I wish I could give you a real hug. Please contact me if u need to talk

chocolatechip06

Glad you are starting to make baby steps.  I cannot imagine how hard this is for you.  Thinking of you and sending you big hugs.

ALY1981

(((((hugs)))) we are all here for you.

cara-n-steve

I'm so sorry your going through this and you're right, it will take time.  But you are taking baby steps in the right direction which is what counts.  We're all here for you!

emmyloustu

((((HUGS))) I am just getting all caught up. I am so sorry you are going through this. One step at a time...we are all here for you!

itsmevkb

It sounds like you are taking the right steps towards feeling better and getting back with your baby.  Concentrate on you right now.

kellyloveszach

I am glad you are doing a bit better.  I have been keeping you in my good thoughts.  I really hope that things continue to get better.

DavezWife

take care of yourself, hon. We're there for you ;-)

armywife76

So glad to hear things are getting a bit better. Hang in there. PPA is rough-- I can't imagine compounding it with a heart problem. ((hugs))

kamcfarlane

i'm thinking of you often. i'm glad things are looking up. (((hugs)))

Mouseygail

Baby steps are wonderful! It sounds like you have the first part of yourplan in place! I've been keeping you in my thoughts!

brideinOC

I'm glad that today was somewhat better!  As an outsider, I think that you're all doing what's best.  The best thing to do for your babies, it to take care of mommy!  BIG HUGS!!

njdcgirl

Wow hon. I had no idea you were going through all this. I'm glad you are getting help and hope you feel much better soon and can see your LO. ((hugs))