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Multiples
WWYD if you came home and found the babysitter asleep?
I have 2 babysitters that I use on a semi regular basis. One is a college grad (26 I think) who decided to go back to school to become a teacher and is waiting tables and babysitting for extra money. She has babysat for the boys since they were about 3 months old and other than the fact that she isn't super punctual or good at tidying up, I haven't had any problems with her. I pay her $11/hour.
Then I have a 14 year old neighborhood girl who I LOVE. She is so good with the boys. She plays with them so well and they just love her. She also cleans up all the toys in the family room or the basement. But, she is young, so I only use her either when I am home, or if I just have to run to the store. I pay her $6/hour.
Well, today I came home from running errands and the boys and my (26 y.o.) babysitter were playing in the basement. The kitchen was a mess from lunch and there there were toys all over the family room. Since everyone was downstairs, I took a few minutes to unload everything from the car, and then went down, saying, "hi guys!" as I was heading down the stairs. Well, she was CLEARLY dozing on the couch when I came down and the boys were playing nicely. I startled her and she jumped off the couch. I was super irritated, but didn't want to make a big deal about b/c I could tell she was embarrassed. She totally overcompensated and made a big deal of telling me about all the playing they did, etc. Usually before she leaves, I schedule her for the following week, but I was annoyed so I just paid her and said I'd give her a call. I understand that taking care of twins is a lot, but honestly, how hard is it to quickly pick up the kitchen and toys before moving down to the basement to play? Our family room is gated, so there is no reason why she can't leave them in there while she is picking up.
WWYD? Would you find a new babysitter? Do you expect your babysitters to pick up? It just irks me that I feel like our 14 year old babysitter does a way better job than the one who is 26!
sorry this is so long. I'm just super annoyed. And now I have lots of messes to clean!!!
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Re: WWYD if you came home and found the babysitter asleep?
If I found a babysitter asleep on the job she'd be fired on the spot. No excuses. She's there to do a specific job, if she's too tired then she needs to not babysit.
I am wondering how long she was sleeping. I would be really upset and I would find a new babysitter. I dont know how babyproof the room is it sounds like it is so they were ok but it makes me nervous.
I am afraid my boys could get hurt if someone wasn't watching them all the time. That is not a risk I am willing to take.
I would get rid of her. I don't know if that sounds too harsh to some but it's too important of a job to screw up.
I agree with you 100%, I would be completely annoyed. I don't get to sleep at my job so in my opinion someone else shouldn't be able to either. Plus LO's can get into something in a split second, so it becomes a serious safety issue.
I would try to go about finding a new babysitter discretely, but I am sure if she is not scheduled again she will probably get the "hint" as to why you are not using her anymore.
Either way you decide, GL!!!
Oh totally! I mean, if the toys had been scattered everywhere and the kitchen a mess when I left, then I wouldn't have really cared, but the boys were asleep when she got there and I had everything all neat and clean!
I'd be so irritated to come home to a mess after leaving it clean. Grrrr. I feel for you! She certainly put you in a tough spot.
I would fire her without a doubt. Ditto pp, she'll know what's happening and why when you don't call to schedule her again.
I would try to find another sitter and during the interview go over expectations regarding washing dishes, tidying toys, food prep, whatever else. I think if its discussed during the interview process then there's no worry about the sitter feeling criticized and if it's something she doesn't feel is her responsibility, she can let you know. GL finding someone new.
Also, could you maybe pay to have the 14 year old take a CPR/1st aid course or babysitting course? Maybe then you would feel better about leaving LOs with her when you're not home.
This.
I'd be pretty pissed if I came home to my babysitter sleeping. I get it. Multiples are tiring. I'm exhausted when I take care of my guys all day but I don't fall asleep on the couch while looking after them.
All of this. I've walked in and found my sitter asleep on the couch- but that's been at times like midnight when the girls are asleep and she had the monitor right next to her. That is perfectly acceptable to me, but what you described is not.
Funny though...I used to baby sit constantly in middle school and high school, and I always picked up all the toys and put them away, and would load the dishwasher. All.the.time. Regardless of who made the mess. But I've found with two of the girls I have baby sit that most of the time they never pick up the toys. I just find it weird.
Ditto this. I have wished that I could just close my eyes for a few minutes while they played (oh how I've wished...) but I have never actually done it.
I totally agree. I would not care at all if she had fallen asleep and we had been out late. I used to do that a lot when I babysat.
Although, if I heard the garage door opening, I would have jumped awake and acted like I hadn't been sleeping. 
To be fair, she wasn't SOUND asleep, or laying down on the couch taking a nap, it looked like she was watching them and was maybe so tired that she was just dozing for a few seconds here and there. I dunno. It's not like I asked her to come over at 7am and that she was so exhausted. She didn't come until 10. The only reason why I wouldn't want to burn a bridge with her is that she loves our dog and will house/dog sit for us super cheap when we go out of town.
Maybe I'll muster up the courage to have a talk with her about my expectations. I hate these situations!
Diagnosed PCOS 2/07, TTC #1 since 8/09
11/10 - Clomid Round 1 = BFN
12/10 - Clomid Round 2 = BFN
1/11 - Voluntary Break = BFN (duh)
2/11 - Clomid Round 3 = BFN
3/11 - Femara + IUI = BFP * Beta#1=56 * Beta#2=266
*Cautiously expecting baby girls on November 28, 2011*
Hahahah - TOTALLY!!!
I know...situations like this are never comfortable, ESPECIALLY when you really like the person.
I certainly would think twice about calling her back.
When I babysat in middle school and a bit in high school, I always cleaned up because I wanted to be called again. Maybe you could start giving your 14 yo babysitter more opportunities with the goal of basically replacing the other babysitter? You could start by maybe leaving her with your kids for an hour longer than normal and see how it goes?
This.
I in no way would condone it, but maybe she's sick, or has had a traumatic family event or something?
Finding someone who is capable of watching multiples is hard and I wouldn't want to throw what was a good thing down the drain b/c of one isolated incident
From your second explanation it sounds as if she was just so exhausted that she just couldn't keep her eyes open. I've been there many times in the last 10 months, and unfortunately my 3 don't cooperate so i've definitely dozed while not meaning too. I'm not saying it's ok... but if the days you need her are at all flexible I'd suggest (if you're going to call her again) telling her if she's too exhausted since it seems like she has a LOT going on to let you know that and you'll use her a different day. It really doesn't sound like she was TRYING to take a nap, and I think that would make a difference to me.
As far as the picking up messes, is that something you've discussed with her before or better yet, when you initially hired her? If not then honestly if you are going to call her back then I would definitely deal with that immediately.
I feel differently about the cleaning then everyone else. Unless you've expressed your expectation that at $11 an hour she does tidy up, then she is there to watch your kids. Not clean...or nap. I would personally feel wierd not cleaning. But when I come home to a happy kid who has been well taken care of by someone I trust, I look right past any mess and am thankful that I have someone I trust babysitting.
Now as far as the sleeping.. yikes. Tough spot. On one hand a trusted sitter can be hard to find, on the other dozing is risky to the kids' well being. I'm ok with sleeping when DD sleeps (nighttime, maybe naptime since my mom naps when she does) but never when sitter is supposed to be "on duty"
From reading what you experienced today, I'd probably either:
1) not call her back or have DH call her and say that you're not needing help at this time anymore with the twins but you'll keep her in mind for the dog/house sitting as the situations arise (*note: I"m not one to fire or tell off someone but that's just me)
2) Make a point the next time to say something like "gosh, I really appreciate the other week when you had the kitchen/family room picked up. I'm so exhausted that this totally helps me out!" (obviously not in ref. to this past week of her NOT picking up but in ref. to a time more positive when she DID pick up after the kids).
I just hired a sitter who is young (20 yr. old) and the ref. that I got her from said to be very specific w/ what I expected of her. So when I was hiring, I made the joke of "I don't expect you to detail my floors while I'm gone...but...it would be super helpful to me if you wouldn't mind picking up whatever the girls get into while I'm gone." There have been times I've come home and the place isn't exactly clean, but on the times that it is clean, I make a deliberate comment of "Oh thanks! Your cleaning helps out big time!"
Knowing you have 2 little ones and are pg, you deserve that she at minimum reaches up to the expectations you set for her. You are paying her well and if she isn't up to par (and you're having to clean up after her shifts), I'd stop calling her.
GL!!!!
To be honest, since she started babysitting when they were only a few months old, I'm pretty sure that when we hired her there was never an issue of picking up toys, or after meals, but I would always ask her to wash the bottles. Next time she comes, I will definitely make a point of asking her to please pick up the toys and clean the trays and put the dishes in the dishwasher. I think I would like to give her another chance, but just make my expectations a little more clear.
Thanks for all the advice ladies!
I think that's really smart.
Just be honest and up front. I certaintly made my fair share of mistakes when I started working.
That's a great approach. That way she knows the expectations (maybe she thought she was just being nice in the past and a friend told her she was doing too much or something).
For the falling asleep - that's a bit harder to decide on. If the kids had been in bed I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, but its a bit different if it's while the kids are playing. You could always comment on it, "I know it gets tiring sometimes, here's where we keep the coffee if you think you're starting to get tired, feel free to make yourself a pot if you need!" or something like that - that way she knows it wasn't acceptable and you give her some way to change the behavior in the future.