Any advice? Deployment Orders

Excited Mrs P

Hi everyone...

My husband just found out that he will be deploying to Afghanistan in September (6-8 weeks after our first baby is due). I just feel so helpless and sad and am hoping someone can relate and give me any advice or encouragement. 

He just returned from Afghanistan in April and we just thought that he'd be home longer than a few months before redeploying (at least until next year). I know I'm lucky that he'll be home for the birth and to meet our daughter, but I just don't know how I'm going to be able to handle the adjustment of him being gone and caring for a new baby all alone. He'll be gone for all of the holidays and all of her firsts. Plus, I'm scheduled to have a c-section for medical reasons and I am not even sure if I'll be able to care for her all on my own before he has to leave?

Ever since he found out today, I just can't sleep or stop worrying. Any advice is appreciated... 

Brit242

My husband deployed when LO was 9 weeks old.  We knew it was coming so it wasn't a shock to us and I felt pretty prepared.  I live in Germany so obviously don't have any family around, but I did join New Parent Support Program which has completely saved my sanity.  It really really sucks that DH will be missing the entire first year of LO's life and all the other milestones up to that point, but we can only make the best of it.  I take pictures of LO every day and mail a few to DH with each care package.  I also video record all of her firsts and email him the videos.  We Skype as much as we can.  I send cards from LO with her footprints on them.  We do as much as we can to still have DH involved.  If you have the opportunity to join a New Parent group you should.  It's a great way to learn new stuff, meet friends, and have an excuse to get out of the house.  Feel free to PM me if you have anymore questions or if you just need to vent. 

Just curious, if your husband just recently got home, why is he not able to stay home longer on dwell time?  My husband got back from a year long deployment in May 2010 and was therefore not allowed to deploy until May 2011 even though his unit left in february because he kept his 1 year of dwell time.

Excited Mrs P

Thank you for sharing. You gave me many helpful ideas to try and keep DH involved. I will definitely look into joining a New Parent Support Group to help me as well.

DH is in the Marine Corps in a Special Operation Unit, so they do things a bit differently. He was sent on RIPTOA, where he was sent to assist in a turnover for a few months, versus being deployed as a unit. We too, had thought that he would have at least a year home before the possibility of another deployment - but we were wrong. I think part of it is the shock that we both found out about this deployment with only 3 months notice (as mentioned, he leaves in Sept.).

Brit242

Gotcha.  Yeah we knew about DH deploying 7 months ahead of time, so we had plenty of time to prepare mentally which was good.  Do you know how long he will be gone?  (you don't have to share on here if you don't want to).   I hope it's not for a full year.  Just hang in there and keep DH as involved as possible.  I also want to add that I made a few books for LO with DH's pictures in them so I can read her stories from her daddy and she sees pictures of him everyday.  She also has a pillow with his picture on it.  Plus she Skypes him like I mentioned earlier.  I know she probably has no clue what any of it means yet, but I think she'll make the connection eventually.  Hang in there, you're stronger than you think!

SpyCGee

My husband was deployed in April and we were lucky his CO let him come home for 10 days at the end of May to be there for the birth of our daughter. I delivered via c-section as well and it went a whole lot easier than I thought it would go. Recovery was quicker than I thought it would be. I hope the same for you. Taking care of the baby will be easy after 6 weeks when your husband deploys. You should be fine by then and handle it all on your own. After all, that's what military wives do. We survive without our husbands sometimes. Unfortunately, our children have to also.

Like above, my husband will miss the first year of our lil girls milestones as well. My husband left 10 days after our daughter was born and I dealt with postpartum depression and him leaving. Let me tell ya, the first week was HARD. I cried... a lot. But it's getting easier and the more time passes, the sooner they get back.

I have to mention, it is extremely hard for our husbands too. They don't get to play with the little one, be at home or do our normal everyday lives stuff. They're out there. It's HARD for them too. We have to support them as much as possible. Make that your focus, honey. He needs some love too. I sent my husband back with a sleeper with baby's scent on it in a ziplock and a "plaster" foot print. Just some ideas. 

Good luck, stay healthy, get plenty of sleep, take care of yourself emotionally, and send your Marine lots of care packages. Oorah!