Summer vacation issue (NBR)

NewMrs07

DH keeps changing his mind about what kind of vacation we're going to have. He hasn't seen his mom and brother for a long time and initially they were going to come visit us for a month. Then, DH changed his mind and said to take a cruise from Florida, just the two of us, and leave LO with my parents in West Palm. I was psyched about this option and was all set to buy tix and book the cruise.

This morning DH talks to his mom and brother and changes his mind again and wants to see them in July or August. I have no issue with this but he mentioned the cruise to his mom and she got excited with the idea. I wanted the cruise trip to be just for the two of us and I don't want to go with him AND his relatives. I feel like a horrible person but DH doesn't understand that we need to reconnect really badly and I want us to go alone to the cruise. Now he thinks I don't want his family to come visit.

I can compromise and we can hang out with his relatives after the cruise is over (they can fly in after). If they fly to the US they will probably stay a month, and the cruise is only 4 nights. His mom and brother are awesome but I'm feeling really resentful of having to share a cruise trip with them.

Maybe I'm being selfish, but I honestly need a real break soon and all I can think about is laying on the beach in the Bahamas, pina colada in hand, swimming and reading all day long w/o having to deal with LO or any family crap.

Am I a horrible person?

NewMrs07

Oh and did I mention that DH's mom doesn't speak English?

stever

You are NOT a horrible person. Have your DH explain to your IL's, diplomatically of course, that the cruise is just for you guys and that they can visit afterward.

BrideBuddies

Seems like a very reasonable compromise to me!

itsmexine

stever:

You are NOT a horrible person. Have your DH explain to your IL's, diplomatically of course, that the cruise is just for you guys and that they can visit afterward.

This.

monkski

if it was a choice between no cruise and ILs in town for a month or cruise WITH in laws, I would take the cruise with them. If you can do both, then definitely would do cruise with just DH and let ILs visit afterwards. And do they have to stay a whole month? Would they stay shorter if you just did the cruise with them? It might be easier to tolerate them if you weren't at your own home and could escape with an umbrella drink somewhere.

NewMrs07

monkski:

if it was a choice between no cruise and ILs in town for a month or cruise WITH in laws, I would take the cruise with them. If you can do both, then definitely would do cruise with just DH and let ILs visit afterwards. And do they have to stay a whole month? Would they stay shorter if you just did the cruise with them? It might be easier to tolerate them if you weren't at your own home and could escape with an umbrella drink somewhere.

 

Totally. I wouldn't mind if they come to the cruise but it won't be the same. DH will be worried about them and if they're having fun, especially his mom, who doesn't speak the language. So it won't be an intimate escape for us at all. I guess I could suck it up this one time if DH will promise me that we'll do a better and longer cruise just the 2 of us, next year. We'll see what happens. I want to have fun but I also don't want DH to be bummed out about his family. He hasn't seen them in so long and I've seen my folks twice in the past year.

ateytelb

I would go for a cruise just for the 2 of you now because who knows what will happen next year. Looks like your H changes his mind quite often, so he may change his mind again about your ILs being on the cruise with you guys.

NewMrs07

Well now it's decided. My MIL and BIL are buying tix to fly from Istanbul to Miami next month! July was a better month workwise for DH and tix are supposedly cheaper from abroad. BUT, we have to fly to Miami as well and the cruise prices in July (with such short notice) are $200 more pp than they would be if we had bought them 1-2 months ago. It kills me b/c I'm super organized and would have planned this trip months ago, and now, b/c DH is sooo unorganized and we also have to work with his family's schedule, we're going to spend more money than I wanted to. It kills me to spend more on the same trip when we could have planned things better.

But I think there might be some money coming from the in-laws. That's the only thing that will make this all better for me. And the fact that we will be able to leave LO with my parents, so I can have an actual vacation and just lay on the pool chairs 

mwd

So your ILs are just coming to Miami?  They won't be staying with you afterwards?  I hope that you enjoy your cruise either way!

NewMrs07

mwd:

So your ILs are just coming to Miami?  They won't be staying with you afterwards?  I hope that you enjoy your cruise either way!

They're flying into Miami and taking the cruise with us (sans LO, which will stay with my parents in West Palm), then we're all flying back to San Antonio, where my in-laws will stay 2 more weeks. They'll be in the U.S. about a month.

Peppernut

Awww.  Maybe your in-laws will treat the cruise as kind of a romantic getaway for themselves, too, and you'll only see them now and then?  Ah, well, I hope you enjoy the cruise anyway!