I need a break [vent] long sorryyy

mimi1017 · June 2011

Why is everything going so crappy for me?! Ugh. Yesterday was by far the worst day I've had in a while. 2 nights ago DS' dad and I were talking and he said that he needed to tell me something kind of important. Ok so tell me. He said he would rather do it in person. Well that just made me nervous. So im questioning him..do you not want him anymore [you already walked out once], do you want custody, are you moving far away? Just tell me. He didn't want to tell me and wanted to wait until yesterday since we were going to see each other. He said it wasn't anything bad and it wasn't going to affect me. So yesterday I was telling him my stomach was in knots and that I was just afraid of what he was going to tell me. So I just made a guess..you guys are getting married [cuz he has a girlfriend]. BINGO. My heart dropped. As stupid as it may sound. I'm head over heels for him Embarrassed It won't affect me. Rightttt. So I guessed this before we even saw each other. Well I had to pick him up from work still. So I didn't want to talk to him at all just because I'm so upset. He doesn't want to marry this chick and he's doing this for all the wrong reasons. I get to work and I'm already on the verge of tears..I see my regional manager. I'm walking to the back and just start crying. Ugh. Let that all out with some venting and then I start to work.

He then starts texting me asking me if I'm ready to talk and all this other stuff. Sorry no I'm NOT ready to talk about your marriage. Thanks tho! And then tells me that DS is crying again. For whatever reason everytime he has DS he cries a lot for him. I feel terrible. I only let him have him for a few hours and he sees him once maybe twice a week. I told him before that we should get together so I could help him..just show him things that will calm him down. Just trying to be nice and help him out. Something ALWAYS comes up. And I've tried multiple multiple times. It's about OUR son. It's not so I can see you. You're a freaking idiot. About 2 1/2 hours after I drop him off [mind you he was only going to have him for about 3 1/2] he calls me at work all frantic saying that DS won't stop crying and he can't find his pacifier and he doesn't know what to do and that he is flipping out and then he starts crying. O.M.G. I go in the back and get on the phone and tell him he needs to calm down and ask him whats going on and he's just saying how he can't get him to calm down and everything I've told him what to do isn't working. THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO COME OVER JUST ONCE SO THAT I CAN TRY TO HELP. SERIOUSLY!! So I was like ok I'm coming to get him. Left work and was on my way to get him. He calls me and tells me that he found his pacifier and was calm for a minute but now he's crying again. And then tells me he wants to talk because I'm in a crappy mood cuz of what happened. No. My child is crying..take care of him..I will be there asap. I had to bring DS to work with me until my mom could come pick him up..all with my regional there. Bet I looked like a great employee. And I missed about an hour and a half of work because of all this. Not once did I get a simple thank you..sorry..or even how is he doing? I def had some choice words with him last night. He wants to take him on Sunday..but it's obvious he cant handle him. DS doesnt cry like that for anyone else so I don't know what's going on. Ugh. I can't wait to go out of town this weekend just to get away from all this crap.

Sorry this is so long. I needed to vent badddd.