I don't know anything about anything
H and I have been together for 6 years, but the 2 years since he's been active duty we have had to live apart (deployment + stationed where I couldn't find a job).
We've only been married for a year, but because of the distance, I feel like I have absolutely no connection to the military life at all, and no idea what I'm supposed to be doing as a mil spouse and/or pregnant lady. He's deployed right now, and I don't know how to get a hold of him in case of an emergency, where to send letters and care packages, I don't have copies of his orders or anything. I don't even know what kind of Tricare I have, haha.
The issue is that everything gets sent or communicated to H, not me, even if it's me-related. So everything is filtered through a middleman, and since I've always been so independent, he has yet to really understand how much his being a Marine influences my life even from 3000 miles away. Hell, I can't even get my driver's license renewed without his LES papers and I don't even know what those are or where to get them...
I feel like a bad wife! What should I do? Is there a good online resource anyone can recommend? I'd like to figure things out on my own without having to bother him about it since we rarely get to talk.
TIA!
Re: I don't know anything about anything
Hi. I am a fellow Marine wife. I know how hard and confusing the military is. Your husband hasn't given you his address? He should have it. DH had his address 2 weeks before he deployed. I'm sure not every unit gets it so soon, but at this point I would say that he does have his address.
You need to get in touch with his Family Readiness Officer (FRO). He/she would know how to get in touch and would be able to further guide you. Also the FRO would send you newsletters and updates for the unit.
You could find his LES on MyPay, but you would need all of his login information. Have you talked to him since you left? He has to get you this information so you can be in the know. Where is he stationed?
Do you know what unit your DH is with? Where is he stationed out of? That will help you find the FRO. PM me if you need help finding the info.
Do you have a POA? Why do you need the LES for your DL? I have never heard about needing that for a DL. Is your DL already from that state? Do you have your military ID?
In case of an emergency contact the Red Cross. You have to give them his name, rank, branch, ss or date of birth, unit info, and military address. You can also contact your FRO and they would be able to get some info to him, but the prefered way is Red Cross. But this for emergencies. So death or serious illness of an immediate family member, the birth of a service member's child or grandchild or when a family experiences other emergencies.
You and your dh have some major communications issues. I know that doing the geo bach thing is hard then add a deployment, but that is no reason for you Dh not to give you any of the info you need. We have done it and I always had the info I needed.
You should already be covered by Tricare Standard, but who knows if you are signed up for Prime. You can call Tricare to see what you are on.
Seriously, honey, you need to have a TALK with your dh about making sure that you have everything you need so that you are taken care of.
Your DH is the problem here. HE has a responsibility to square things away PRIOR to deployment. The FRO for his unit should be in almost constant contact with you, typically through email. HE should have given him/her your contact information prior to deployment. He also should have set you up with a POA. How often do you talk to your DH? My DH knew what the address would be for care packages the day he left. Even if he didn't, he would have told me as soon as he found out.
Why do you need his LES to renew your driver's license? That doesn't make sense to me. Go to the DMV and get it renewed.
His LES can be accessed online. You will need his username and password. He also needs to get you in contact with the FRO. There is protocol prior to deployment, and all of this was supposed to be taken care of before he left.
This. My H had his address about 2 weeks prior also.
I am a fellow Marine wife and the FRO is helpful. Each unit should have a webpage of some sort and contact info for the FRO is there.
Good luck!!
MilitaryOneSource is a good online resource
You may need HIS LES to renew HIS DL but not yours
I agree with the others. The information you are missing is stuff that he should've gotten to you.
Like others said, Red Cross is how to reach him in an emergency...but its only for big time emergencies like a death in the family. Letters and care packages, he should have an address he can give you for that. He should also be able to access a copy of his orders and he defintely shoud've told you about the Tricare thing. You could probably call Tricare and get the info if you know his social. Do you have a POA? If you don't, ask him for a general POA when you talk to him next. It will come in handy.
I'm not clear on why you'd need his LES to get your DL renewed. My DHs being Navy had no bearing on my getting a new license.
It sounds like you guys need to communicate better. Most of the things you asked about are things he should've told you or taken care of before he left.
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If you are pregnant and don't know what kind of Tricare you have, how are you making your appointments? Are you getting prenatal care?
Why have you not talked with your husband about all of this?