ugh. still frustrated over this...vent and long at that

fjaril

So H is in speech therapy, we go 3x a week. I like the gals, but I'm less and less found of the director.

She just got engaged a month or so ago and is getting married in October and apparently is crazy stressed over that. That's fine, but don't bring your stress to work with you.

That said, she is forming opinions on H from when she just walks through the waiting room. She actually told me he needed a sibling b/c she once saw him not want to share something. - I'f told H if he doesn't want to give the toy he's playing with to someone, that he should offer them something else. 

At our status meeting she thought he needed a different approach to going back to the room and said it takes him too long to settle in and start work.

-uhm, if he's having a bad day it takes him maybe 2-3 minutes to stop being upset, I can hear him through the door. 

So we decided I'd go in early and let him play more (that's fine whatever).

Today, she tells me that he's acting "crazy" in the waiting room while I get me status report. She said, "he broke someone's toy and that had to be replaced, and he's grabbing toys from the other children, and he's just wild"

WTF. 

1) the "broken toy" wasn't broken, he and the toy's owner were playing together and h tried to open it the wrong way, but it didn't break. I got him a  replacement, just b/c I felt bad that it got twisted a  smidge and he actually asked for the other toy I got H. They traded and that was that. She (the director) only knows about this b/c I mentioned it at the last meeting.

2) I can think of 2 times he's every "grabbed" a toy and I immediately had him give the toy back and talked to him about it.

3) he's a normal 3 year old and he doesn't run rampant. he plays with the other kids waiting to go in.

I don't know if she's confused with another kid or what, but I'm getting ticked off  and feel like she's picking on H. 

None of the other mothers have said anything to me and she (the director) said it came up in a staff meeting not from other clients. 

They said they want H to sit next to me when they are done with therapy and I get the "how it went today" speech. I said, "well if he's not allowed to play with other kids, then I'll just go in to the therapy room for it. I think it's not fair for H to not be allowed to play with the other children."

So also the way the therapist took him back today was very gruff and not like normal. I was uncomfortable with that.

I'm not good with confrontation, I get shakey and was almost in tears when she informed me that my kid was crazy.

 

So- I don't know if he's just one of the few non autistic (spectrum) kids they have or what, but seriously. He's a regular 3 year old. None of his doctors think he behaviour is off and all the people I know with kids that have a sahm their kids are the same.

I told the hubs I'd see how the week went, but we might have to change things if I'm still uncomfortable.

I just don't know what to do. 

Sorry for being so long. 

KateAggie

Is there another speech therapy place you can go?  It sounds like her expectations, at a minimum, are not in line with yours (and I don't think you're the unreasonable one here).  If you're stuck at this place, is there a toy you could bring that he could play with in the room away from the other kids while you get the progress reports?

colleenor

how is H doing with therapy...does he like his therapists?  if yes, i'd consider sticking it out.  if not, i'd change immediately.

why is the director so nosy nelly and can you ask to be more in contact with one of his therapists if you like him/her better?  some of the things that were mentioned, not calming down in therapy room, i would think would be more addressed by the therapist not the director.  

sorry its sucky...good luck!

2H2L

colleenor:

how is H doing with therapy...does he like his therapists?  if yes, i'd consider sticking it out.  if not, i'd change immediately.

why is the director so nosy nelly and can you ask to be more in contact with one of his therapists if you like him/her better?  some of the things that were mentioned, not calming down in therapy room, i would think would be more addressed by the therapist not the director.  

sorry its sucky...good luck!

This. ((hugs)) and I'm sorry you're going through this. If it were me, I'd find a new place. I'm not good at confrontation and wouldn't want her anywhere near my kid or his treatment. it's ok though. Can you discuss this with the therapist (w/o director present)? Maybe therapist has a different view on H/thinks he's doing fine? Honestly though, I'd find a different place knowing me.

mcgee

I'd find a new speech therapy clinic. H does not deserve to be treated like that, and neither do you. I would find another clinic, and then you can write a letter or an email to the director explaining why you are leaving.

Have you mentioned this to his actual therapist? If so, what was his/her response?

kiarox2002

I'm so sorry.  I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.  I would find a new clinic if you can.  Unless H loves his therapist or something.  

thethomps

mcgee:

I'd find a new speech therapy clinic. H does not deserve to be treated like that, and neither do you. I would find another clinic, and then you can write a letter or an email to the director explaining why you are leaving.

Have you mentioned this to his actual therapist? If so, what was his/her response?

This.  I would have a hard time biting my tongue and would probably say something rude to the director that I'd later regret.  I'm sorry you're going through this.

Temp13436125005166

hugs

I just can't believe she said that.  When reading your post I was also thinking maybe she had the kids confused too because I think H plays really well with other kids.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, I'd be really bothered by this too.  I hope you figure something out that works for you and H. 

smb29

I'd switch if you are still uncomfortable at the end of the week.  The director has formed a bad opinion, and that is going to influence how H is treated going forward regardless of what you say.  Confronting her may only make the situation worse, because now he is the unruly kid with the b!tchy mom.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to switch providers, sometimes a place/person isn't a good fit for you, even if it works for someone else. 

KDM2006

I'm so sorry you are going through this, clearly she doesn't have children of her own!  Maybe someday she will realize that when she has her own child, that they aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time.  It sounds like what she is giving you as examples she is blowing way out of proportion and it's almost like she is picking on you and trying to make you leave or something.  I'd definitely be looking for somewhere else to take him.

fjaril

Thanks for not thinking I'm "crazy".

I was almost in tears still when I went to bed last night over this.

I will talk to his therapist, I think it's the main one today. I plan to see if she can finish early with him, or if it would be better to talk on the phone.

One of the therapists has been promoted to assistant director and I'd much rather deal with her as she's actually worked with H.

I know _I_ felt at a loss and had a shorter fuse when I was pregnant and I wonder if that time period is also something that is playing with their opinions.

I felt like I should have mentioned it to them during our goal meeting, but I didn't want to talk about it right then since out goal meeting was while the pregnancy was ending. :

I'm just really upset over this. I love the therapists and he seems to like them too. But if they think he's wild and crazy, then I see no reason to stay.

I feel like being nice is getting me kicked in the stomach this time  

 

AustinMimi

Ugh, I am so sorry. I would find another place to take him. I have a major issue with continuing to give my money to people who act unprofessionally. I also don't like confrontation, but I have no qualms at all about taking my business elsewhere. Being gruff with H or stigmatizing him are not professional behaviors, IMO.