Gift Request:: WWYD

Mrs.Guz

My niece's 3rd birthday is coming up, and her mom sent out an email saying that my niece "really wants a big girl bed, but her PBK bedding is no longer available so we have to get off ebay. Please gift her a ebay GC so we can make her dreams come true and give her big girl bed"... (only slightly paraphrasing). My issue is, last year she requested money to put "towards a nice swing set". A year later, still no swing set. Also, I know that her mom is the one that cares about the PBK bedding, not my niece. I'd be okay with giving money to put towards her bed, but I don't want to pay towards something that her mom wants instead of getting her a gift that SHE would like. So, should I just get her a ebay gc as her mom requested, or buy her something else that I know she would really like and enjoy?

BTW:: I always try to get something the parents say the child needs/wants or cash towards something big they need/want. But I don't think PBK bedding is something my niece even cares about. And her mom made it sound like if we don't give her an ebay gc we don't care about her dream of having a big girl bed, which doesn't sit right with me.

ebearwife

Strange.

But my ILs do this too.  Last year DH's cousins asked for money for a vacation they could not afford for all gift occasions.  They said it was for their daughter to go to Disney.  Their daughter was less than 2 at the time so the Disney trip was more for them.  Anyway, I got them something else and made sure it was NOT returnable.  Then they mooched off another relative for their vacation, but at least it wasn't my dime.

maykat

It really sounds like a gift for the parents and not the little girl.  Get her some princess dress up items and call it a day:)

emowens

maykat:

It really sounds like a gift for the parents and not the little girl.  Get her some princess dress up items and call it a day:)

Totally agree..I kinda think it's pretty rude to have a "registry" for kids bdays.  I mean if someone asks, you try to come up with things to suggest, but I always make sure that it's reasonable (under 20). 

KOscar

I get her something that she would enjoy.  I can't really see a three year old getting too excited about a bed and bedding and it's her birthday.  I'd especially be turned off given that the swing set never showed up.  

Temp925407062502290

I only do this with Grandparents but my things are not that expensive.  Like $ towards a new carseat was Wesley's gift and I bought it with the $ I received.  OR music/swim lessons. I wouldn't ask this of my sister or SIL unless they asked.  I always give ideas that are cheaper.  I think I would be more cautious because she never bought the swing set.  So where did you $ go? 

Just buy her what you want...

 

mrsd0907

My mom asked for a list of gift ideas for family when they ask what D wants for his bday but I've listed lots of inexpensive gifts. I can't imagine that a 3yo really cares that much about PBK bedding for her bday. I would get her what you think she would like.

Mrs.Guz

I usually ask the parents if there's anything the child needs/wants and use that as a guide. And when I get asked, I give them general ideas. The email she sent was totally unprompted, and she sent it out to a bunch of people. It would be different if I had asked her and that's what she said.

I'm going to just go to the Disney Store and pick out something Disney Princess (which she likes) and call it a day and just pretend I didn't get the memo.

doctryan

I don't like a ton of toys in my house, so I would probably have complied with this request.  The deal breaker for me is that they didn't follow through last year.  To keep the peace, I would probably do a small amount on the ebay gift card and then a few books or something like that.

AugustaBride04

emowens:

maykat:

It really sounds like a gift for the parents and not the little girl.  Get her some princess dress up items and call it a day:)

Totally agree..I kinda think it's pretty rude to have a "registry" for kids bdays.  I mean if someone asks, you try to come up with things to suggest, but I always make sure that it's reasonable (under 20). 

Completely agree with this.  I would get something else just out of principle, but that's just me. 

mingaling2

doctryan:

I don't like a ton of toys in my house, so I would probably have complied with this request.  The deal breaker for me is that they didn't follow through last year.  To keep the peace, I would probably do a small amount on the ebay gift card and then a few books or something like that.

This.  Sounds like a good compromise!

slwprincess

Nope, I would only make that mistake once.  If they didn't buy the swingset you donated towards last year, then as far as I am concerned, they have lost the privelege to choose gifts for their child.  They get what they get.  I like the princess dress up idea :-)

Janimal

Honestly, although I think the request is inappropriate, I would just get the GC.  I know our daughter has a gazillion toys already, and she won't keep track of who gave what nor does she need anything else.  The parents were tacky, but there is no harm in just getting a GC.  The little girl won't know the difference and there's no harm done with the parents.  Why go against their wishes?  They were tacky but getting something else is being unnecessarily adversarial to me.

K&P414

If she is forward enough to ask for a specific gift I would be forward enough to ask how the swingset is coming along.  Do you know the PB bedding set that she wants to get?  If so, I might get a piece of that off of ebay but I would not give her anymore $ or a GC since it seems to me like they didn't end up putting it towards the birthday girl.  Or maybe I'd get her some pretty new pj's to wear in her new big girl bed.

Mrs.Guz

Janimal:

Honestly, although I think the request is inappropriate, I would just get the GC.  I know our daughter has a gazillion toys already, and she won't keep track of who gave what nor does she need anything else.  The parents were tacky, but there is no harm in just getting a GC.  The little girl won't know the difference and there's no harm done with the parents.  Why go against their wishes?  They were tacky but getting something else is being unnecessarily adversarial to me.

I don't think so. I was planning on getting her something else before she sent out the email, and after putting money towards a swingset last year per request, and them not getting the swingset, makes me kind of leery to do it again.

I like Laurann's idea to get her some pjs for her new big girl bed and maybe I'll add a story book or something. That way it won't be adding more unnecessary toys to the mix.

ebearwife

I love the idea of getting her an item from the bedding set she wants off ebay.  That way you KNOW you are getting her EXACTLY what she wants and she has no opportunities to use the giftcard on something else - which given the playset that has not yet materialized I would feel like would be what happens.  If she doesn't send you a link to the set she wants I would be highly suspicious that the PBK stuff exists at all.

The whole playset thing would be the rub for me.