Got my first parenting lecture yesterday

mrs.george2be04

I made it just over 3 years without one, I guess I had a good run.  My mom basically hinted that she thinks I am too easy on Logan.  She kept saying she doesn't want him to become out of control or become a brat, and if I "lose control now, I can't ever get it back."  She and my dad have this fear that their grandchild is going to be a brat.  It really doesn't have anything to do with Logan personally, because they've verbalized this for a long time, before Logan was even 1.  I don't know if they're worried it will reflect badly on them or what.  I'm not naive enough to think my kid is perfect.  He's far from it.  Still, I feel like they freak out over things that I don't think are a big deal.  He's 3, not 10.  I think part of it is they haven't been around a 3 year old with any kind of consistency in a long time, and I was a much less high spirited than Logan was at his age.  Oh and she also managed to throw in a potty training lecture on top of all that.  Good times.  I was unfortunately trapped in the car with her and I wanted to jump out the window.  No point to this post, except just needed to vent.

curlypie1

Blech. I can visual your unease during that conversation. I hope she doesn't feel the need to bring up her perception of your parental skills anymore. I guess she's trying to pull her "Mother knows best" card eh?

Ttimes3

You have to love Judge Judy comments (whether directly or indirectly stated) from grandparents. What parenting techniques of yours, specifically, does she have issue with? What did she say she would do differently?

kel716

whatev.  that's what I have to say.  It's your kid, not hers.  You get to decide how you want to parent your child, and she can watch... she doesn't get a "redo" now that her kids are grown, nor can she tell you how she would have done it and expect you to jump right on that advice. 

While we can all benefit from conversations about parenting, they have to be invited conversations not forced.  Like with anything, I have to actually want it to use it... 

Ttimes3

kel716:

While we can all benefit from conversations about parenting, they have to be invited conversations not forced.  Like with anything, I have to actually want it to use it... 

Amen.

mrs.george2be04

Ttimes3:

You have to love Judge Judy comments (whether direct or indirectly stated) from grandparents. What parenting techniques of yours, specifically, does she have issue with? What did she say she would do differently?

I think they're talking about bringing out the big guns (spanking).  My mom just kept saying "time outs aren't working."

My jaw about hit the floor as this was unfolding.  My mom and I very, very close, and she to this point has always been very supportive of me as a mom (and supportive of me as a person).  I don't think she meant to, but she made me feel inept, like I can't handle my own son.

Ttimes3

mrs.george2be04:

My mom and I very, very close, and she to this point has always been very supportive of me as a mom (and supportive of me as a person).  I don't think she meant to, but she made me feel inept, like I can't handle my own son.

Aww, man. I'm sure she didn't mean it that way; but I know what you are saying.

doodlebug914

I had an odd conversation with my grandma the other day too, who rarely gives us parenting "advice".  She was talking about other kids hitting or being bully-ish, and basically saying that we need to teach Ethan not to be a push over, i.e. hit back?  WTF, and I called her out on it.  I don't need to teach my kid to "hit back", the discipline problem is involving the other kid's parents and they need to discipline their kid.  I don't want Ethan to be a push over by any means, but hitting doesn't solve anything (and I haven't personally seen my child be involved in a "bully/hitting" incident, and I am the one with him 95% of the time. I'm not sure what she is thinking).  I'm sorry you got stuck in that uncomfortable talk!!!