Would you push your LO to try t-ball if he/she doesn't want to?

mic2004

We signed DD1 up for t-ball this year. Last month she had 4 practices and she pretty much complained every time we went. She didn't want to participate and when we finally got her to, she really didn't try.

Picture day was Saturday followed by her first game. She refused to sit for the pictures and she pouted and complained about going so much that DH took her home and said he thinks she's done. I understand that not everyone takes to t-ball, but I'd like her to really try. I think we should continue to take her to the games and see if we can get her to play. Apparently I did the same thing about dance when I was little and, although I don't remember it, I now wish my parents had pushed me a little more to continue.

Would it be bad of us to offer a reward afterwards if she at least tries to play? Like if we tell her before the game that if she gets out there and really tries that we'll take her out for ice-cream afterwards?

Pesky

I remember my parents signed me up for soccer and I half-way through wanted to drop it.  My parents made me finish the season, pointing out my teammates were relying on me, and who knows what else they said.  But I finished the season.  And then they let me drop.

I signed DD up for soccer and after 2 months, she started to refuse to go and said she didn't like it.  Now she was barely 3YO and I let her drop it.  I figured I will make her play a team sport at some time but for now, she's figuring out likes and dislikes.  And instead of forging a negative image of soccer in her mind, I would rather let it go and see if she is interested later.  You can try to talk to her about things she might like about it without tying it to the t-ball yet.  "Do you like to run?"  "Do you like big group hugs?"  "Do you like being outside?" and then pointing out those positives and then see what happens.  I don't know if I would force it at this point yet.

JillAly

I would not force them to do T-ball but I have always felt strongly about not pushing kids in sports if they're unhappy so I'm sort of biased on the subject.  

I trained for many years in figure skating.  There were many figure skating moms who pushed their kids to skate.  Obviously, you're not close to being on the level of a skating mom, but I saw what it did to the kids.  The really pushy moms screwed up their kids bigtime- I watched the girls become bulemic, have terrible body images, etc.  It has always stayed with me. 

Maybe T-ball isn't your daughter's thing.  Maybe she'd like another sport or dance or maybe she won't like any sports.  I think it's great she tried it but if she fights you that hard about it, I'd move on to something else.

mic2004

Thank you both for your advice. I don't have a problem agreeing to let her drop it, I just wish she would have tried a little harder. But hey, I don't like basketball and I wouldn't like for someone to make me even try to play (other than throwing a basket here and there).

FYI... she is in gymnastics once a week and it did take her a little while to get used to that (she can be a bit shy and needs direct instructions some times). I asked her if she'd like to try cheerleading too since it's similar to gymnastics and she said yes. So, I will be looking into that then and we'll see how she does with that.

kada626

I try to encourage my girls to try a lot of things they aren't initially interested in doing.  In your case though, I feel like you already encouraged her to play baseball by taking her to four games, pictures, etc. I'm sure you already talked it up too.  I wouldn't make her miserable by making her start a new season of it if she clearly doesn't want to.  I would find something else that interest her. You could always try baseball again when she is a little older. 

n&bcarlson

It sounds like she's gone enough times to get a feel for if she likes it or not.  Maybe gymnastics or dance are more her thing, rather than outdoor team sports.  I'd ask her what exactly she doesn't like about T-ball and go from there.  It might be something fixable, in which case you might push her to finish the season, or it might be that the whole thing just rubs her the wrong way.  In that case I would let her swap for something else of her choosing (a different sport, dance, etc.), and once she has chosen, you can make her stick with it guilt free (at least for the whole season or class) because I do think it's good to teach kids to finish what they start.

Emiliana7

If it was something they had asked to do I would make them finsh the season/year whatever the normal 'one through' would be.

If it was something I (or DH) signed them up for and wanted them to try, I would probably give some incentive to finishing the season/year.

Either way I would tell them if at the end of the season/year they didn't want to do it again/next season/year they can pick something else to do.

 

mic2004

Thanks everyone.

Her coach called last night to check on her and suggested a more intructional lesson rather than going right into t-ball. It's more one-on-one and about learning about the game, than just going out to play it. Also, my DH and I would be heavily involved as we'd be her "partner" that she'd throw the ball to and such. Unfortunately we can't take her to that because it is only on Monday nights and she has gymnastics on Mondays.

She has a game next Wednesday and we are going to take her to it and just let her sit on the bench or bleachers and watch the other kids. We'll see how it goes from there.

She did tell me today that she wants to try soccer and she told me before that she wants to try cheerleading. I looked into cheering and, at 4 1/2, she's a bit too young yet. And I think it might be too late for soccer, but I'll have to look into that for next year. We'll have to practice that this summer at home and see if she still likes it enough next year.

 

jlw2505

Honestly, I would not.  I don't think it is fair or worth it to push your child.  I watched a parent for 20 weeks push their child to particpate in a Little Gym last winter with my DD.  It was torture for everyone around and took the teachers attention away from the rest of the class as they were always having to chase after this kid.  This was the 1st child only class so I can understand the kids being a bit unsure the 1st class or 2 but after that, enough is enough.  Even the kids that had a hard time the 1st few mins of each class did great once mom and dad were out of site.  I just don't think its fair and your child has told you loud and clear that they are not interested.  Some kids just don't like t-ball or whatever it is and you can try getting him into something else.  My 3 year old loves gymnastics but we switched to a different gym this spring and she doesn't like it so she told me that she doesn't want to go back in the fall and wants to do soccer instead.  Great - she tried it, she told me how she feels, moving on.  I will ask her one more time before I sign her sister up (who wants to do the gymnastics) and if she says no, she says no.  Sorry but sports at this age are meant to be fun and learning experiences not something that the kid is forced to do.