Please tell me I'm not the only one...

jc51723

Please tell me I am not the only mom in survival mode.  I feel like I am grasping at straws here.  I have started every habit I vowed not to in order to get some sleep.  Example -- my child is asleep right now in her swing, paci in her mouth, and when she wakes up and won't sleep in her bassinet, $100 says she will end up in the bed with me and my husband.  She is almost 6 weeks old now and I feel like we should at least have some sort of sleep routine, but it is just not happening.  I feel like we are actually regressing!  The first couple weeks were great and I could actually get her to sleep in her own bed, but now I put her in it and she just cries and screams to the point where I feel like she will pass out.  I know it is silly, but I just feel like we are failing as parents, like we should be doing a better job.

I just need to know I am not the only one   I love her to death and hate that she is already growing so quickly, but I am ready to have some order back in my life.

Anyone?

heysupnatalie

Not the only one. I bet you one million dollars that when this kid won't sleep in his bassinet tonight, he'll be right next to me in bed. That's how it's been every night since day 1. Even in the hospital. I stayed up so that he could sleep-crazy I know. We don't suck as parents, we just need sleep too!

lindseynicole203

im right there with you. my lil guy is 5 wks 2 days and we have no order to anything. i am sooo tired and overwelmed that i will do anything to get some shut eye. i said he would never be in our bed and yep...almost every night. its hard and sometimes you just have to roll with it but it doesnt mean ur not a great mother. all your LO knows is that u are her whole world and you take damn good care of her. give ur self a break and try not to sweat the little things!! hope this helps and good luck with everything!

jc51723

Thanks girls   I know, in reality, I am not the only one, but when I read about other ladies and their perfect routines and how they seem to do everything right from day 1, I think they are either lying or are super-moms! 

heysupnatalie

jc51723:

Thanks girls   I know, in reality, I am not the only one, but when I read about other ladies and their perfect routines and how they seem to do everything right from day 1, I think they are either lying or are super-moms! 

im betting on big fat liars

ktusten

we are at 9 weeks and i still feel this way.....will he ever sleep in his crib? uggggggggggg breaking every rule i made just to get by.

h2ojock13

I told myself I was going to EBF even though I was going to be going back to work in 6 weeks. I caved and gave baby formula the 2nd night in the hospital after my boobs were a train wreck and baby wasn't happy. We've given him formula and supplemented a few times since.

I told myself we were NOT going to use a pacifier until I felt comfortable with a BF routine, after being home for a day I caved and gave the baby a pacifier after hearing him cry and I could'nt figure out what was wrong with him.

I've cried about both of things things (yay hormones). MH told me that even though I had expectations of how I was going to parent, the most important thing is that I'm parenting based on what my child needs even if that means throwing some of my "expectations" out the window. I'm doing what I should do as a mother and that is taking care of my baby. If you start getting down on yourself, don't forget this. It has saved my sanity a few times.

mzsparklepdx

You're definitely not the only one.  We have no routine whatsoever.  I swore I wouldn't use a paci all the time, but I do.  I sleep on the couch with her every night because I'm just way too sleepy in the middle of the night to wait a half hour with her upright so she doesn't spit up half her meal and gets really, really sleepy so she'll actually sleep in her co-sleeper.

I've been told over and over that I need to pump at least six times a day, preferably eight, to get my milk supply up.  Today I pumped......none.

I just do the best I can and try not to beat myself up over it because lord knows I have enough stress and challenge keeping up with everything.

lilcoco13

Nope, you're not alone...LO is sleeping in bed with me atm and DH is on the couch. It has been this way since day 1. LO will not fall asleep on his own and once I get him to sleep he seems to know the second I put him in his PNP and wakes up and cries to be picked up. I swore I would never co-sleep but I need to sleep and I can't hold him all night. I read about these babies who get put in their cribs at 8pm and they STTN already and I want to know what the secret is! Even if he won't STTN yet, I wish he would go to sleep on his own so DH and I could have some alone time.

EJensify

Uh yeah.  No routine, shoving a paci in his mouth every time he yawns, sleeping random hours of the day and my husand hasn't slept in the bed with me for three months.  hmph.

kacelle

I rarely even try to put Violet in her bassinet for bed these days.  I tried last night, and she ended up in bed with me.  It's just easier when she sleeps so well in our bed!  But I would like her to sleep in her bed at some point; DH and I would like our space back.  

Stephcara

heysupnatalie:

jc51723:

Thanks girls   I know, in reality, I am not the only one, but when I read about other ladies and their perfect routines and how they seem to do everything right from day 1, I think they are either lying or are super-moms! 

im betting on big fat liars

this. the first 3 months are survival mode and I am sure you are doing a great job! hang in there and give yourself some credit.

iris427

You're doing great!  You will have order again, it takes time to get into the routine of parenthood but you will.  Give yourself time to adjust to this new normal.

This is definitely survival mode time.  Do what you have to do to get sleep and get through the day.  Your baby will not be scarred for life from sleeping in a swing.  

Lisa Frank

iris427:

You're doing great!  You will have order again, it takes time to get into the routine of parenthood but you will.  Give yourself time to adjust to this new normal.

This is definitely survival mode time.  Do what you have to do to get sleep and get through the day.  Your baby will not be scarred for life from sleeping in a swing.  

Great advice

I thought for sure my son was going to nap in his swing until he was 5. Turns out that one day around the 7 month mark, I put him in his crib for a nap, and voila. He slept! 

You girls are doing great.  Keep telling yourselves that in a little pep talk if you have to  

alliejoe

There are a lot of things going right for us... but I was so seriously set on EBF and then we had to supplement with formula for jaundice and I had to pump and pump and pump to get my milk to come in...

Well, it's finally in and the supply is great and I'm still pumping and giving him bottles about 1/2 the time.  I feel pretty crummy about it, but at least he's getting all BM now.  *sigh*

CanuckFan03

You are so not the only one.  Over at my house, we have some pretty good days, and we have some rough ones. We're learning, he's learning, and as long as he's fed, clean, and cozy, we're happy.  

You're doing a great job - don't let the people with the 8pm bedtime miracle babies get ya down  

Lisa102304

Don't let other's experiences impact how you feel as a mom. They have their baby, you have yours. Even if you are doing things you didn't want to do - so what? Your baby will be fine, life will return to "normal" soon, and nobody will be scarred! You need to do what works for YOU and your family- everyone else be damned. Easy babies can turn into hard babies and vice versa .... You never know!

tokenhoser

I've surrendered to the bedsharing. I finally went out and bought a rail so it would be safer to have him on either side of me. It's the only way I get any sleep at all.

And yes, he slept in his crib fine as a newborn. It's when they wake up a bit that life gets more complicated. I think survival mode is 100% normal, and anyone that has "stuck to their guns" likely just had an easy baby.

jg_girl1

My LO only naps in the crib during the day (sometimes). I don't even bother trying to put her in it at night because she sleeps so well in my bed. I'm sure we will transfer to her own bed sometime before she 18.

Temp38995750004016

jc51723:

Thanks girls   I know, in reality, I am not the only one, but when I read about other ladies and their perfect routines and how they seem to do everything right from day 1, I think they are either lying or are super-moms! 

I had live-in help the first (almost) three weeks! I'm not sure I would have survived if I'd had to to all the housework and errands on no sleep.  I slept a lot during the day the first three weeks.

lindzed

This post has made me feel much better.  i have had huge issues with my toddler adjusting and today i gave up and let him spend the night with his grandmother just to give me a break.  At this point i am trying to survive.

andigurl

Everyone's experience is going to be different.  As long as you are loving your child, and doing the best that you can what more can you really want.  Things with babies seem to change on a day to day basis.  Don't compare yourself with other moms, or compare your baby to other babies.  Do what works for you guys, get through the first couple months however you need to and thank you lucky stars when fall arrives and our little ones are sitting up and holding up their own heads.

My BIL and SIL had a baby in July of last year and the first 4 months was complete torture for them.  She was a very hard baby to handle and they were both about ready to jump off of a bridge.  She is coming up on her 1 year birthday and is so much fun and such a joy to be around.  When things get difficult just think :this too, shall pass".  Good luck momma!

mzsparklepdx

If it gives you hope, my LO slept in her co-sleeper not once but twice last night for the first time ever.  I might sleep all night in my bed someday after all!

Iamthedigs

Thank you for starting this post. While my lo is not the worst, if she isn't eating or sleeping, it usually isn't more than 5-10 minutes before she starts crying. I see all these posts about all the things moms are doing with their lo while awake and it makes me feel like I am not doing enough! I am counting down the days until that three month mark, and I can't wait for her to be more interactive with us. Oh and I thought breastfeeding would be some magical experience, but honestly, it can be a real pain (in many ways!).