Parenting after 35

FFFC

Although I appreciate cards and gifts from grandparents, I am annoyed by the fact that they are addressed to "Charles." His name is "Charlie."  I kind of want to say something... but seeing that some of his grandparents are not very involved in his life and don't really call, it's most likely my bitterness talking and probably not worth it.

My mom passed not too long before Charlie was born and she wanted a grandchild so bad. I know that she would have been around him all the time and she would NEVER had called him Charles by mistake. Crying

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Re: FFFC

  • You named him Charlie and want him to be called Charlie then remind people his name is Charlie.  My name is long and very often shortened.  My parents always called me by my full name and at a very young age I would correct adults that shortened my name. 

    My son is Michael, not Mike or Mikey.  Stand your ground sister. You chose the name carefully and demand it be used. 

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  • For my ENTIRE life, my aunt spelled my family nickname wrong. (Suzy, not Suzie)  She still does.  It drives me nuts.  I swear it's a passive/aggressive thing, not an ignorance thing.  And my mom admits, she didn't correct her because she didn't want to make waves.  And this is an aunt I saw on a weekly basis.. not someone who I never saw.

    When Charles was born, this same aunt sent stuff to Charley.   I flipped out!   "She's not going to do this to my kid, too!"   So I sent her a little email that simply said that we're going with the nickname spelling of Charlie, not Charley, because we know a little girl with that spelling and didn't want him to have a complex about it.   Which is a lie.  But it worked.

    Since these are grandparents and not just random people, I'd gently correct them.  They may just be assuming his name is Charles.  And I suspect he'll probably get that a lot... sorry!

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  • You named him Charlie, that is what they should call him.  If you send thank you notes, you can make sure to include his correct name.  Just keep correcting them when you get the chance and it will eventually sink in.

    Sorry about your mom.  I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but I'd like to think that Charlie has a guardian angel looking out for him (and calling him by the right name!).

    DD1 is 3, DD2 is 1.
  • That would be my assumption too that Charlie is a nickname for Charles. But they are his family and should know what his name is.
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  • Yeah, families are so wonderful. You send out birth announcements, talk to them about your dk, and if the same people are on FB, they likely see the nn or full name spelled out. It drives me nuts too, and as a family member put it, well, it's close enough, it doesn't really matter. Well, it does. So I started calling that person by childhood nicknames and other variations of their name, and they got mad. Snarky me, shoots back with an innocent face, sorry, I thought it wasn't a big deal. It stopped after that.

    Ten years ago I would have said nothing, now, I'd be correcting them. Oh, sorry, you mean _______.

  • First hugs to you for loss of your mommy. As for Charles Charlie, my gma called my nephew Jimmy. His names was James. Now that he has passed she apologized to my sister.
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  • steverstever member

    :(

    That's not flameful. 

  • I hate it when I find out that I've been calling someone who prefers to be a Barbara "Barb" etc because everyone else does.  It's their name, it is important.  So while it's uncomfortable, I agree with the pp - correct them now.  Kindly, gently but firmly.  
  • First off... (((HUG))) because you miss your mom and are feeling blue.

    Second... I also wonder if your grandparents thought Charlie was a nickname and they were being "proper" in addressing things to Charles. 

    Third... when I met my husband, he introduced himself as Jonathan. But as I met his family, they all call him Jon. I asked him which he preferred and at first he said he didn't care. But then he let me know he prefers Jonathan and that's mostly how I think of him and call him--though sometimes his nickname slips out.

    As for spelling (re: Suzie) it irks me to no end when people who KNOW me (family too) misspell my name.  Robin and Robyn are used equally now (though when I was born the "i" spelling was the main way).  So if you are my dear friend, please spell my name right.

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  • PeskyPesky member
    Left Hug  I would just point out that it might be confusing to DS if he is called Charlie by everyone else and Charles by his grandparents and you want to make it seem like they are part of his life, not strangers doing roll call.


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    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • I know how annoying this can be.  I'm sick of people asking me of Randy is short for Randall.

    Sorry about your mom.  I understand how hard it is to lose someone close to you before your LO is born.  My DF's father died 1.5 months before Randy was born.  I don't think I will ever get over him never meeting his grandson he was sooo excited about. 

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