How many children do you want to have?

JennyAnne022776

I'm sure this has been asked before, but in the spirit of talking about something other than the 3 hr test, hot weather rants, and the like, I thought I'd put up a little poll.  I find it very interesting that when many people find out we're having twins, they immediately say "Oh good, then you got them both out of the way and you're done.  That was easy!"  I'm not sure why so many people make an immediate assumption that DH and I have always **dreamed** of having only two kids.  And they definitely, definitely shouldn't make the assumption that it was easy.

So anyway, how many kids are you hoping for when all is said and done?  (not your DH...I know DH and I differ on this topic)

[Poll]

crystal959

Growing up I never saw myself married or with any children. I always imagined myself with someone, but never getting married...weird I know. When I got pregnant with DD I knew I'd want at least one more.

I like going on vacations and I think having 2 would be perfect for that reason. I was the oldest of 3 and someone was always left out, or we fought over who could bring a friend, and I feel when you get into the 4+ range it becomes nearly impossible to not only afford a vacation, but mentally survive one.

alicia023

cadegani:

Growing up I never saw myself married or with any children. I always imagined myself with someone, but never getting married...weird I know. When I got pregnant with DD I knew I'd want at least one more.

I like going on vacations and I think having 2 would be perfect for that reason. I was the oldest of 3 and someone was always left out, or we fought over who could bring a friend, and I feel when you get into the 4+ range it becomes nearly impossible to not only afford a vacation, but mentally survive one.

I agree, except I was the middle child and DH the youngest of 3 so we always said that we would have 2 or 4 and after being pregnant now with a toddler...I might just say 2 is enough

ohfour

We use Natural Family planning and because of religious beliefs we will not be avoiding pregnancy unless we have what we have prayerfully decided as a couple is a very good reason. Right now, we have no reason's to avoid having more children after this one, so our mindset will most likely be avoiding for awhile to allow my body to recover, and for my mental sanity as a SAHM of course. For how long we will do that and where the next few years will lead us I do not know, but I know whatever decisions are made will be with each other's thoughts and feelings taken into account. It will take a lot for us decide "no more", and hopefully if we come to that point it isn't for awhile.

I realize now that's a confusing answer, lol. As for my personal wants, I would love to be blessed with at least 4 children. Not saying I want them all within the next few years, but I am not even 25 yet so *hopefully we have some time still.

Duffgurl

I would Love to have two

Suesse2009

We have always talked about having 3 or 4 kids.  This pregnancy has been very hard physically, emotionally, and financially.  We were planning on our kids being pretty close in age but that won't happen now.  We will have more children just not sure how many now, 

GLGB

ohfour:

We use Natural Family planning and because of religious beliefs we will not be avoiding pregnancy unless we have what we have prayerfully decided as a couple is a very good reason. Right now, we have no reason's to avoid having more children after this one, so our mindset will most likely be avoiding for awhile to allow my body to recover, and for my mental sanity as a SAHM of course. For how long we will do that and where the next few years will lead us I do not know, but I know whatever decisions are made will be with each other's thoughts and feelings taken into account. It will take a lot for us decide "no more", and hopefully if we come to that point it isn't for awhile.

I realize now that's a confusing answer, lol. As for my personal wants, I would love to be blessed with at least 4 children. Not saying I want them all within the next few years, but I am not even 25 yet so *hopefully we have some time still.

 

I'm in the same boat as you.  We use natural family planning and want to wait in between kids for the mental sanity part as well.  I would love to have at least 4 kids and if we can afford to have more that would be great.  I keep saying 6 and DH is more for 3 but for now we are going to see how 1 goes

 

 

JennyAnne022776

I just realized I never answered my own question...I come from a family of 2 and would like 3 kids.  DH comes from a family of 3 and would like 4 kids.  We'll have to see.  It took us longer to get pregnant than I thought (I am now 35), so I don't know how many more years I will feel comfortable attempting a pregnancy.  However, we were fortunate enough to have a very successful IVF cycle and we actually have a decent number of embryos waiting for us, so we'll have to see where things go.  Our kids will definitely need to be close in age though.

heathlyn9

I chose 3, but it really does depend. If we get pregnant again & the next one is a boy, we might give it one more shot in hopes of a little girl. If we get pregnant again & it's a girl, we may stop at two. I do think 3 would be fun all & all though.

WashingtonQueen

I adopted my fiance's 2 boys so we already have them. I want 3 birth children so by the time it is said and done, we should have 5.

JenJune3

I always wanted to have 3, and when I say that I mean, I wanted to be pregnant and deliver 3 children of my own. Well, my husband allready has 2 from his previous marriage and I have 1, so this makes child #4 for us and we are going to be done. It's sad for me because I will only have given birth to 2 children and I always wanted 3, but financially I know this is what's best.

megd06

No more than 3 are exiting my vagina...I'd be fine with 2, honestly, but H wants 3. I'd like to adopt 1, but we'll see how that plays out.

eesome

After this one, we are done. Two max!

We want to be able to afford both of their college educations (probably $100,000 a child by that time), and the only way to do that with our income is to only have two.

Plus-- everything good comes in twos! 

Two can sit together on a roller coaster or ride.
Lots of discounts for "Family of 4".
Two can sit in the backseat of a sedan without buying a huge SUV.
etc.

Yes-- I've thought about this often. LOL

 

kjuryfl

I am between 1-2. It really is going to depend how LO #1 goes.

Mom2Eleanor

We would really like at least four, but I cannot phyically or mentally handle another pregnancy. I signed the paperwork for a tubal ligation yesterday and it will be performed after my repeat c/s.

EMunion777

When DH and I first got married we had talked about 2 but now (first on the way) we're both wanting 4! (: We'll see.

jennypenny1014

heathlyn9:

I chose 3, but it really does depend. If we get pregnant again & the next one is a boy, we might give it one more shot in hopes of a little girl. If we get pregnant again & it's a girl, we may stop at two. I do think 3 would be fun all & all though.

THIS exactly!! That is our exact mindset on the subject.

ctygrlstl

I've got to stop at 2. I really want a girl, but if it's another boy the second time, I'm still going to have to decline a 3rd. Hubbs wants 3, but I don't think 3 is a good idea. I've noticed (in my family, at least) that something strange happens when you have the 3rd child. In my family, in the 3rd, the personality disorders become just. effing. insane. I don't know why. I mean, Dad was fine, Aunt #1 was fine, but then 3rd-child Aunt #2? Wow. Something malfunctioned in that woman. Same on my Mom's side. Uncle was fine. Mom was fine. But 3rd-child Aunt? HOLY CRUD! Another "winner". Both 3rd-childs never left home, stayed virgins well into their 40's, and generally failed at life. Sorry, this oven is set at max limit of 2.

Jen&Peter

I always thought I would have 3 kids. Although in my thoughts it was 2 boys and 1 girl - you know, like I had a choice in the matter

We are on DS #3 and we are done!!!! No more for us!!!! Having 2 is a handfull...we will have 3 boys five years old and younger. Crazy, crazy!!!!

Mel2000go

heathlyn9:

I chose 3, but it really does depend. If we get pregnant again & the next one is a boy, we might give it one more shot in hopes of a little girl. If we get pregnant again & it's a girl, we may stop at two. I do think 3 would be fun all & all though.

 

This exactly!

mandyhall2882

I voted for "1". I'm thankful and blessed to even be pregnant, since I thought I could never have children. DH and I are fine with having just one baby, plus we live in a small 2 bedroom house and there wouldn't be enough room for another child.

chottomotto

I voted for 4 because that is my max. We always talk about having 3 or 4 children, but honestly I am just happy to have this baby. If she is the only baby I ever bring home, she would be more than enough. I believe in wanting what you have!

JennyAnne022776

chottomotto:

I voted for 4 because that is my max. We always talk about having 3 or 4 children, but honestly I am just happy to have this baby. If she is the only baby I ever bring home, she would be more than enough. I believe in wanting what you have!

I hear ya!  After waiting so long, we didn't think we had a shot at one.  When we found out it was two, we were beyond excited.  If anything should happen between now and delivery and my doc says that any further pregnancies would be unsafe, I would be fine with the two we have.  Sex of the baby (babies) never even entered into the equation.

ohfour

ctygrlstl:

I've got to stop at 2. I really want a girl, but if it's another boy the second time, I'm still going to have to decline a 3rd. Hubbs wants 3, but I don't think 3 is a good idea. I've noticed (in my family, at least) that something strange happens when you have the 3rd child. In my family, in the 3rd, the personality disorders become just. effing. insane. I don't know why. I mean, Dad was fine, Aunt #1 was fine, but then 3rd-child Aunt #2? Wow. Something malfunctioned in that woman. Same on my Mom's side. Uncle was fine. Mom was fine. But 3rd-child Aunt? HOLY CRUD! Another "winner". Both 3rd-childs never left home, stayed virgins well into their 40's, and generally failed at life. Sorry, this oven is set at max limit of 2.

Haha that's weird you say that, because DHs brother who is the 3rd child is the effed up one, and there are 8 kids in his family!

However, I do know plenty of third children in a fam of 3 who are perfectly normal, lol.

sunnydaisy

I grew up in a family with 3 kids, and I always envisioned myself with 3 of my own.  Once we had #3 though, we didn't feel "done", so now we're expecting #4.  This is it though.  At least, we aren't planning on any more than 4.  Dh is planning on looking into a vasectomy after this one arrives.

TigerLily084

A bunch. I grew up in a family with 5 kids, DH is the oldest of 8. Especially in DH's family, it's just awesome to see how close that family is and how much the kids enjoy spending time with each other. Big families are so much fun, I really can't imagine it any other way. Both DH and I were a little freaked out when we first got married - it was way too quiet. Ha! 

The Theme Queen

We have always talked about having 5, if we could.  We are both only children so we want to create our own big family.  I love having a house full of people even if it involves crying, screaming, etc.  In reality, we will see how many we can afford and how it goes with this LO.  We hope for at least a few though (2-4)

cmw&tdm

I always said that I wanted four, but we will most likely be stopping after this one for a few reasons ...

I feel a little like I'm playing with fire hoping for a third healthy baby as it is. 

I'm SAH now but should really go back when this next one is about two or three. 

We also plan to do private school and it is expensive with three and probably not doable with four (for us). 

DH is from the UK and it will be insane to try to get a family of six over there with any regularity.

MrsCase1

i'm with you-dh and i dont agree on the number of kids. i wanted a large family, he wanted the nuclear 2 kids and a dog scenario. we compromised on three (god willing.) the other night it randomly came up and he said he'd actually be happy with only ONE! i swear to you i died in my seat a little. mind you, this is not something he EVER brought up pre-marriage or pre-conception. i was floored and really upset (even though he was not saying it in a way that meant he was trying to make this our last and only child.) anyway, i should mention he is younger than me. he says, "well, to be honest, i was really young and had never given it much thought. i would've said anything to get you to marry me." needless to say, i did NOT sleep well that night, lol. hormones necessitated we revisit the subject a few days later. he assured me several times that he "is a man of his word and has every intention of sticking to our agreement." the way he said it was more calming than the business-like way in which i paraphrased. sigh. it really took me off the market. the deeper we got into the conversation, it was revealed his concerns are financially-based. that also comforted me because i understand and find it a valid concern. he has lost his job twice since we've been married and i have been laid off, too, since august. we'll see. there's no guarantee that even if he agreed to my desired five kids, that we could even have them. it took me a lonnnnnnng time to get pregnant and i'm already almost thirty so i will be happy with whatever we can have. 

Kyrgyz-American Wedding

I come from a family of 4 kids and both my parents do as well, so 2 or less doesn't even seem like a real family to me. That said, I would love 4, but I think of how insane my mom was and how strained my parents' relationship became at times and realize that was likely because they were trying to herd around 4 kids! So, I think 3 will be both the min and the max, but we'll see - definitely open to changing my mind.

Stellasmom

Two is all we're planning on.

Our motto has always been "Plan for two. Allow for a third. After that someone is getting something removed."

I'm a little sad this is likely my last pregnancy and experience with an infant, but I don't really feel like I'm the type of Mother that could handle a large family. At some point I want to "move on" from having babies in the house and have a more multi-faceted life experience.

WhitePicketFence

We would like one more child for a total of 3. We also want them very close in age so we'll probably start TTC #3 next summer.