Working Moms?

Princess JosieJoe

Just wondering how you ever find time to clean or have time for yourself?  I'm just feeling very overwhelmed. I work full time and when I'm not working I want to spend that time with my DD. Just wondering how you manage to get anything done around the house or time for yourself? 

dragon_chica

Currently I'm PT but will go back to FT in the Fall.  On days I work I try to get the basic cleaning done after DD is in bed.  I usually start the cleaning process in the kitchen as soon as dinner's done.  I'll rinse and load the washer as much as I can and wipe down the counters.  After DD is in bed DH will usually finish up the dishes.  We have been falling behind on other things like cleaning the bathroom but we usually did those at night as well.  Those things will typically take no more than 30 min.  Then we sacrifice some of our sleep and stay up watching TV, surfing the net, etc. until about 10/11 p.m.  I do have the luxury of getting of work around 3ish (I teach) so I have that time with DD but DH doesn't get home until 6 in time for dinner.  So he gets the Baby Einstein and bathtime to himself and I use that as part of my downtime as well.

In the end, there are some things you have to let go.  IMO, quality time with your LO is way more important than a clean bathroom.

megann831

I workout in the morning before DD gets up, so I guess that's my me time.  I try to clean a room or two or do laundry every night for like 1/2 hour.  Usually DD is around me playing or w/ DH.  I do the bathroom after I put her to sleep.  I hate putting it all off to the weekend because I want to enjoy my weekend.  I'm also home by 3 so I have a little more time than some other people might.

dette7820

Hi there. I work full time too.. some days I am gone 10 hours a day if not more.

When I get home, i spend time with DD, but I also know that there are things around the house such as dishes, or dusting or laundry that have to get done. MOST of the time the dusting is done on the weekends when DD is home.. but I do it while she is playing too. I had to take a step back and realize I wanted to set good examples for her, and playing by herself and being creative has to be one of those examples. I also want her to learn how to clean up after ourselves.. it all works together.

Often times Laundry is done after she goes to bed (I do a spin class at 5am so my work outs are done in the morning while the house is sleeping). Dinner is often times a 20 minute meal, or a crockpot.. I have done a lot of searching and there are ways to make it work for you and your family!!!

Good luck

nealbl

Work full time and in school at night.

I get home at 4:30 I play with LO then start dinner DH gets home sometime between 5:00 and 7:00. We eat, sometimes all at different times. LO goes to bed at 7:30 and then I go downstairs to treadmill to get my workout in. I shower and then DH and I lay in bed together and have our time. Weekends I get my time while LO naps. She takes anywhere form 2 to 3 hour nap so I get plenty of time to myself or time with DH then. Now I have school coming up at night two days a week so I won't get to stick to this routine but we will figure it out. To be honest I don't really like time to myself for very long. I get super bored.

biochemgirl

Generaly cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc are all reserved for when she is in bed.  We make the next night's dinner the night before once she is in bed so when she and I get home from daycare it's all about getting in QT and not worrying about cooking.  Same with cleaning and laundry.  Sure it's annoying that most night DH and don't sit down and relax/unwind utnil 9:30/10, but the nights that we don't cook for the next day and the resultant next evening where  I'm trying to make dinner and she's fussing for attention are just sooooo not worth it.  On weekends we'll do easy chores while she is awake-one of us will unload dishwasher, wash dishes, throw in a load of laundry here or there but they don't take much time and almost always the other one is with her.  As far as time for myself I don't get a lot of it but that's okay for me right now.  If I need a haircut, want to get my eyebrows waxed or whatever I know it's fine and won't take away from our relationship. Plus she is usually my mini-me so DH is happy if I go out and do something alone b/c then he gets in some real QT with her.

nealbl

nealbl:

Work full time and in school at night.

I get home at 4:30 I play with LO then start dinner DH gets home sometime between 5:00 and 7:00. We eat, sometimes all at different times. LO goes to bed at 7:30 and then I go downstairs to treadmill to get my workout in. I shower and then DH and I lay in bed together and have our time. Weekends I get my time while LO naps. She takes anywhere form 2 to 3 hour nap so I get plenty of time to myself or time with DH then. Now I have school coming up at night two days a week so I won't get to stick to this routine but we will figure it out. To be honest I don't really like time to myself for very long. I get super bored.

I don't do laundry DH does and he just works it in. I don't ahve a dishwasher and I cannot stand dirty dishes so I do the dishes as they get dirty. Whiel I am working out DH usually picks up the house a little and then on the weekends we give it a good scrub down

biochemgirl

I also agree with one of the people who responded here-DD needs to play independently.  This is really hard for me as a a working mom-since I'm away from her all day I want to be with her 100% of the time I'm home with her but independent play is important for her development so I'm working hard on stepping back and letting her go off and do her own thing while I do other things that need to get done or even just sit and look through a catalog with a glass of water for some down time.

92405bride

Umm... cleaning has definitely fallen even lower on the priority list than it was before baby. We're big time "spot cleaners" - we'll clean the kitchen and wash dishes and keep that tidy, and if people come over we clean the bathroom and tidy up the rest of the house (which is tiny, so it doesn't take long). We had a cleaning person come and deep clean our house about a month ago, and I'm still coasting on that. Best money I ever spent, and we plan to do that at least 2x yearly. I have no problem doing the surface cleaning, it's the deep cleaning that just literally NEVER gets done. Any cleaning happens on weekends pretty much - only dishes and cleaning the kitchen happen daily.

Time for myself - Every few weeks I feel fine about going out with a friend - a lot of times I'll go out after my daughter is asleep since she goes to bed at 7pm. I know in the long run it's more important to make sure I'm feeling balanced than my daughter seeing me every available minute that I have. A lot of times I go out with friends who also have kids so she's with me.

I haven't found it difficult to be a working mom at all, but I also work the same shift as my husband, he works at home so can start dinner, and is very supportive and does easily 50% or more of the household stuff.

yale

I only work part-time, but DH works full-time and is also in grad school, so it's hard to find time to get everything done. When I went back to work, one of my stipulations was hiring a cleaning service. I shopped around a lot before I found a place that was affordable and would do what we wanted. To make it affordable for us, they don't do everything, so I still have to do some cleaning - but it makes that part of my life a lot more sane. I workout 3 nights a week after DS goes to bed. That's when DH studies.

hersheykiss

DH and I both work FT and when we get home we want to relax and spend time with E. So we have a housekeeper. We have had one since before we were married because quite frankly, I hate to clean and I have a bad back that doesn't allow me to clean well. She comes once a month and does all the heavy stuff: kitchens, baths, floors, etc. We just pick up a bit before she gets there. We use a company for the service so they are licensed,bonded, and insured. They have a key to the home so the girl comes in while we are at work. Today is the cleaning day as a matter of fact. I love going home to a clean house and I didn't have to do it.

Temp937723687505543

I work full time, 45 hours a week, and spend about 1.5 hrs in the car each day, so I'm usually gone for about 12 hours a day (plus retail hours, which means it could be anywhere from 6am-4pm or 12-10pm).  I find that I get me time whenever DD is either napping (she takes a 3 hour nap each day from 12-3pm) or when she's in bed (8:30pm).  The cleaning only gets done on my days off- I don't even bother, aside from dinner dishes, on the days that I work.  DH will do laundry during the week, but I cram it all in to the 6 hours of nap time when I'm not working.

BeachBum73

I work from home so I have a lot of flexibility ( and time to myself) but my house is still a cluttery mess which drives me crazy. There are only certain things we make sure we do every night - dinner, dishes, picking things up off the floor and taking care of the cats.  That's about it.  After that, it's my son's bedtime, snuggle time with my dd, then her bedtime and then our time - for about an hour.

I take me time on the weekends - either going grocery shopping by myself or when my dh takes the kids somewhere and I stay at home by myself or even when my son is napping (my dd is old enough to play by herself). 

I know that it's hard when you work and feel like you never see your LO but even if you take 10-15 minutes of alone time every night, I think you'll notice a difference.

Also, look at the things that "need" to be cleaned - do they really?  Or could they go one or two days without being cleaned?  I think a lot of times, we women put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have the "perfect" house when in reality, most people don't.  We do our major house cleanings when guests come.  The rest of the time, it's minor maintenance.

MarMat

Basically I do most of it when DD is sleeping. We have a housekeeper, I can't do it all and DH supports it. I know I'm lucky. She usually does most of the work. I only have to cook and wash dishes after they get dirty.

I'm also thinking in letting DD play by herself, but the truth is I'm mostly with her. I enjoy that a lot. Although sometimes it involves going grocery shopping.

I need to workout, but I'm lazy and prefer sleeping. I'm usually in bed at 11:30pm and up at 6am.

GL!

MrsWindyCity

We're actually going to get a cleaning person, I think, because it's just too much. We end up spending so much time cleaning on the weekends that it's less time we spend with DS/as a family.

I do try to just do as much as possible during the week, though. DH takes DS to DCP in the morning, and I have about an hour to shower and get going. I usually unload the dishwasher and reload if there's anything to re-load.

After DS goes to bed, we've been TRYING to instill a "do 30 minutes of housework" thing before you do anything else, but it's so hard because by that point we either want to just relax, or spend time together or something. Not do more work.  

I work from home on Wednesdays, which helps, because I can do a little work in the time I'd normally commute, and I can also catch up on laundry that day. 

ETA: we also live in a condo and DS's bedroom is pretty close to the kitchen (and shares a wall with the dining room) so I hate doing stuff after he goes to bed unless it's really quiet. 

MrsPatterson

We currently live with my parents and they have a cleaning lady.  It's fantastic.  I am seriously considering getting one myself when we move back home if we can find the money.  But before we moved in with my parents, I just had to relax my standards.  I tried to straighted things at night immediately after putting DS to bed, and I'd do one actual cleaning chore (the bathroom, the kitchen floors, etc.).  Anything that was left over, I'd do as soon as DS went down for a nap on Saturday.  That way, once I was done with whatever chore, I'd be able to sit down and relax without feeling guilty, like I should be doing something else.  

As for time for myself, every summer I take at least one day off work where the kids go to daycare and DH is not around and I do whatever I want.  I love having the house to myself to do whatever I want (NO CHORES ALLOWED).  I also make a point to schedule myself a mani/pedi for that day.  I only took one last summer, but this summer I'm taking at least two.  

ETA:  My DH does the laundry.  I'm happy to let him have that chore. 

yankeebaby2

I use a cleaning lady for the deep cleaning and she does the laundry once a week.  My husband and I split the daily housekeeping evenly down the middle. 

On weekends we go out whether the house is clean or messy. And usually once a week I will get a sitter and go out with my husband or my friends no matter what needs to get done at home. 

Can you afford a service for the deep cleaning and laundry? 

C.Mo

I used to be super overwhelmed. Then I realized that I was unknowingly letting DH off the hook for a lot of things. I was getting home at 3:45, cleaning up for 45 minutes, then picking DD up from the sitter, coming home and playing for about an hour or so, getting dinner for her ready, bathing her, then nursing her to sleep. I never had any time to myself and every night I was scarfing my dinner and rushing to shower. I was getting resentful.

So, I sat down with DH and told him how I felt. It was crazy because he was like "I didn't realize you weren't getting any time!" So we agreed that every night, we switch "feeding duty" and "bathing duty." That frees me up to do a little cleaning while he is either feeding or bathing her, which means that 45 minutes that I have right after work is used to work out. Problem solved! I feel so much better and I'm not so rushed to get everything done. 

 A couple of other things: it's gotten a lot easier now that DD is almost two. She plays by herself a lot more and actually likes to help me with laundry and other small chores. She helps me pick up all of her toys every night and it's great. I also do one load of laundry a day, no exceptions. It took a little while to get it all handled, but now the laundry is NEVER piled up. 

So to sum up this super long post: enlist your SO and even your LO, and do a little every day. It may take awhile, but things will eventually feel within your control again.

aocain02@yahoo.com

I don't clean like I used to. The kitchen gets cleaned up every night, I vacuum once a week, and do the rest on an as needed basis. Me time? I was excited to have a night meeting for work last night and used the hour between work and the meeting for me time which consisted of eating dinner and getting gas.

melody921

We do have cleaning people who come every 2 weeks, so that keeps the major stuff done. But there's still a ton of stuff to do every day. I work part-time (3 days a week), so a lot of the laundry, vacuuming, etc., gets done on my other two days. But during the week, pretty much as soon as dinner is done, DH and I are doing dishes, preparing DS's stuff for school the next day, etc. It is overwhelming some days, but I find I'm just not as picky as I used to be about having everything perfectly clean. If it comes down to scrubbing something

bwm2bmw

I'm constantly overwhelmed and we only have one DC. I don't know how people do it with more than one child!

I've been FT since DD was 3 months and DH and I both get home about 5:30pm. We split pretty much everything down the middle and interchangeably play with her after work, do her dinner, get the daycare bag unpacked and repacked, bathtime etc. After she goes to bed (7/7:30) we start our dinner, laundry etc.

After I went back to work I had a REALLY hard time that my weekends were spent cleaning when all I wanted to do was play with DD. So we hired a cleaning person which my husband was really against - at first. After a few weeks of me being less stressed on the weekends he now also thinks it's the best thing we could have done, so I totally recommend it. It's a 2 person team and they come every other week. We could really use it every week (we have a VERY hair/shedding dog) but that would break the bank. I found them through a co-worker who got their name from another friend and so on.

Just remember, happy mom = happy house  

Good luck!