I need your thoughts and advice
JessiRaye
member
I would love some input:) My 6 year old kindergartener has had a great year! A little time adjusting at the beginning of the year with talking out of turn but he is has finished strong. His teacher has been pleased with him and of course, as his parents, we are thrilled with his progress. (I will also add that we also have been tough on him and we don't believe he is a "perfect" child. He is just an all around good quirky kid who follows directions well and is eager to learn.)
This week and last week the kindergarteners were rewarded with three special field trips. The kids who were able to go had perfect math scores, perfect attendance, and were in the principal's club. (The principal's club is scored weekly. those having great days and only one okay day per week are a 'pal' in the club. If a child's card was pulled that week they weren't pals that week. I guess they added up the # of weeks the kids were pals and those with a certain number were allowed on that particular trip.)
My child was not allowed to go on any of these. I just spoke with his teacher today and she was also disappointed and agreed that he should have been able to go, but isn't the rule maker. I am sad that I am dealing with a defeated child who desperately wanted to hang with his friends on a special trip. But I also understand that there were specific qualifications. I don't feel that it is appropriate for rewarding a child for 'not being sick' during a school year. Being excluded because you received a P in one of the math areas (PROGRESSING towards mastery) also irritates me. The Principal's Pals thing bothers me a little less...although his behavior wasn't terrible, he talked too much on a few occasions. If anything, this may be an extra encouragment toward being QUIET more often:)
I guess I just need another perspective. I plan to discuss all of this with the principal but quite frankly, I am scared of the woman and I am afraid she will shut me down immediately. I want to be able to articulate what I want to say without having to go 'round and round with her. (She is a pretty tough lady.) Am I out of line to think that the schools way of motivating these children is a little tough? Do you think a child should be rewarded for perfect attendance? What about the rest?
SORRY this is so long and I hope it makes sense:) TIA!
Re: I need your thoughts and advice
Yah, I'd be pissed about that! Totally over the top and unnecessary, IMO.
I think that is totally weird and nothing like that goes on here. I'd also be upset about the disappointment your child must be feeling.
I probably wouldn't say anything, but since you want to, one way to approach it could be like "That's wonderful that these kids were able to go on field trips, but unfortunate that my son and xxx others that also worked hard on listening, math skills, following directions, sort of feel left out and that their hard work amounted to zero rewards. I hope we can come together before next year and work out another form of positive reinforcement for all students to participate and celebrate the wonderful year that they are going to have."
Good luck, I really hope they do something different next year. That is really just crazy.
Yeah that wouldn't fly with me.
All that does is teach the kids who worked really hard but didn't quite make "perfect" that they shouldn't even try next year because they're not going to get rewarded anyway.
I would approach the principle and tell her you're concerned about the message that these special priveleges send to the other children and how at their age it's critical to give positive reinforcement for the IMPROVEMENTS they've made, not just for being naturally good at stuff. And explain that it's critical to their self esteem and development that they be encouraged to make those improvements and not punished for not being perfect.
On one hand, when a school decides to develop a discipline program that rewards kids for good behavior and entices kids who have inconsistent behavior, they kind of have to make the hard choices that go along with that, which may mean saying "no" to some kids.
My kids go to two different schools. Both schools use a program similar to what you describe. My son's school applies it very consistently -- and gets good results. My daughter's school applies it inconsistently by going back on their conditions and making a ton of exceptions -- and kids think the program is a joke.
On the other hand, at my son's school the reward for good behavior is a single extra recess, and it's given monthly so that kids have many chances to reach their behavior goals over the course of the year.
I think a discipline program like this works better for younger kids if the stakes are lower, the rewards are more frequent (but smaller) and they have a chance to really see that they can change their behavior and earn rewards the next time. To be "good" for a whole school year is probably a meaningless measuring stick for a 6 year old.
Also, I agree with offering a certificate or an "honorable mention" at an awards ceremony for good attendance, but offering a field trip for something over which kids have no control is just weird.
Hope that gives you some good ammo for your convo with the principal!
ETA: My son's school also has, over and above the traditional "Honor Roll," a "Principal's Award" and a "Leadership Award" that they give at report card time. Both are simply embossed gold stickers that go on the report card -- not a field trip that excludes kids who just barely didn't make it. Principal's Award is given to kids in grades 3, 4, and 5 who earned straight A's. The "Leadership Award" is for kids who got all high marks in the behavioral/study skills categories on the report card.
Yes you made sense, and I agree with you on every point.
Absolutely nobody in this world is perfect, we teach it at home, it should be reinforced at school.