Parenting after 35

Because the rabble needs to be roused

It's been a long while since we broached this topic, or had any drama/excitement/whathaveyou, so here's a link from the toddler board: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/54231610.aspx

Discuss.

Re: Because the rabble needs to be roused

  • Last week there were 2 posts on the toddler board re: circumcision and the proposed law in San Francisco to ban them.  That got my goat up, because A) I feel the ban is anti-Semitic as circumcision is deeply engrained in the Jewish religion and B) the 1st post spun off another comparing circumcision to female genital mutilation and anyone who does that to their son is barbaric.

    I posted in this new topic because I cannot seem to help myself. IMO either choice is OK but don't ban it or call me a cruel barbarian for having a Bris for my son. (Not that this topic has gone there, but I'm still somewhat irked re: the other.)

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  • You rabble rouser!! My H is not and my DS is not. I didn't see the need. My OB said older moms were more apt to not circ and I'm curious if that's true on this board. My mother is not happy about our decision and said they didn't have a choice when she was having children. You just "did it". Um. OK mom.
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  • steverstever member

    Yeah, I don't support a ban and the comparison to FGM makes me feel stabby, but I can't begin to understand the impulse to circ boys for non-religious reasons.

    I guess I've been missing the debates on the month boards. Hmph.

  • steverstever member

    imageMyPunkinPie:
    You rabble rouser!! My H is not and my DS is not. I didn't see the need. My OB said older moms were more apt to not circ and I'm curious if that's true on this board. My mother is not happy about our decision and said they didn't have a choice when she was having children. You just "did it". Um. OK mom.

    It was probably standard for "older" moms 10-15 years ago as a generational thing, but it doesn't seem the norm now, at least not on this board.

    And I think it was something that you "just did" for a while, hence almost everyone our age and younger - and a bit older - being circ'd.

  • I did it for religious and hygiene reasons. As well as personal preference. Reminds me of that sex and the city episode where Charlotte said they look like sharpei's.
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  • We don't have a boy, so it's not really an issue that hits close to us.  Rom's not, if we had a boy it'd be Rom's choice, and Rom says "nah."  My *opinion* is that it's unnecessary surgery in most cases, and I am kind of against that, but I don't think it's some horrible mutilation or anything.  If it's done for religious reasons it's certainly none of my dang business.  :)
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  • We didn't.

    We talked it over with our doc and she says it's now about 50/50 if people do it.   So that kinda ruled out the social issues that many people use as a justification.   These days, you're not going to be the only kid in the locker room with a sweater on your peepee.

    As for the health aspects, hygiene in general is much better than in previous generations, so I think a lot of those fears are probably unfounded as well (except for the STDs, which my kid had better not get by keeping it in his pants and not associating with nasty girls.  HA)

    Finally, DH is devout Catholic and really felt that God made you a certain way.. why tamper with that?   He is circumcised, but he doesn't plan to go walking around naked in front of our kid.  We're kinda modest folk in that respect.

    And as for San Francisco, there's absolutely no reason why some government needs to tell me what to do with my kid's peen.   Stay outta his pants!  It does seem incredibly anti-Jewish to even consider this legislation. 

     

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  • steverstever member

    imagersrn02:
    I did it for religious and hygiene reasons. As well as personal preference. Reminds me of that sex and the city episode where Charlotte said they look like sharpei's.
    Hmm Charlotte is also referred to as an Episcopalian princess.Seriously, it's only Americans who think that way. The rest of the world thinks we're freaks for circing sans religious reasons. 

    Not to start sh!t, but why is it okay for those who circ'd to say crap like "it's dirty to go uncirced. It reminds me of a sharpei" but you're considered a hippy freak if you haven't circ'd?  Everyone but Jews, Muslims and Americans goes uncirc'd! It is not the norm to circ just for the sake of it!!!!!!!!!!

    Sorry, RSRN, but your wording rubbed me waaaayyyyy the wrong way.

  • Wow... looky at Stever getting all riled up!!   Where's my popcorn.  I wanna see some sparks.   Hehehe.  ;)

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  • steverstever member
    imageBrideBuddies:

    Wow... looky at Stever getting all riled up!!   Where's my popcorn.  I wanna see some sparks.   Hehehe.  ;)

    Heh, that's as riled up as I'll get. I don't actually have an opinion on the issue - I'm more of a "do what's right for your family" kind of girl - until it's implied that any part of my son(or husband, for that matter) resembles a dog. Then I get defensive. 
  • Ooooh, this is fun! ::runs to grab popcorn::

    Okay, L wasn't circ'd because dh isn't, I also left the final choice up to him because I sat squarely on the fence. My brother was done as a baby and I asked him straight out if it made him feel weird, different or made it "less functional". He said his works just fine TYVM, and he didn't know any different, so he didn't see the big deal either way. He chose not to circ his son.

    For us we have no religious basis for circumcision, and as to the health issue we've addressed it with L's urologist and nephrologist. They've both said for most males it never becomes a health issue (unless they are really negligent in cleaning), but rarely do they ever have to circumcise an older child/teen for health reasons. So for me this issue falls under personal preference or religious practice. And has absolutely no reason to be legislated against.

    Oh, and more American do circumcision than Canadians. A lot more.

  • Ok, I'll chime in too.  For us, it wasn't even a discussion; we both were in agreement to have DS circ'd.  Though I'm hearing that more people are opting not to have it done, in my informal poll of friends with boys, their sons are all circumcised.  Honestly, I just prefer the look of a circumcised man.
     
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  • My wife is in the medical profession and has had problems with patient's swelling and it causing a problem if the man is uncircumcised and needs a catheter. Sometimes they have needed to do it then, prior or just post heart surgery, when there are more significant (though not necessarily more personal) treatment decisions to be made. There have been patients who chose to turn down the procedure, who endured a lot of pain and I think she mentioned UTI's as well.

    She brings this up because I am anti-circ, but she feels strongly that it is in a boy's long term best interests. Neither of us have much love for the peen to begin with, so we won't be making the decision based upon intimate knowledge/experience :)  We are team green so there will be discussions to follow (which is good because I am not sure I am explaining things correctly in my post above- I'm not always a very good listener when I am hearing things I disagree with.) 

    Whatever decision we make, it will be amply reasoned and researched. 

  • PeskyPesky member
    DS is circ'ed.  I left the decision in part to DH who wanted to do so but I was the one who did the research and was for having it done in this particular case.  Honestly, I see the pros and cons of it but given the stories I read of adult male circumcision both those who wished they had done it sooner and those who regretted having it done and given DH's family history (his uncirc'ed uncle had to be circumcised as an adult, not by choice but medical need), we opted to have it done while DS was little, would heal quickly, small risk of complications and no memory.  My sister's son is not circumcised.  Neither of us has felt any compelling need to judge the other's choice in the matter.  I don't think it was anything other than a passing discussion.


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  • steverstever member
    imageBostonGayGal:

    My wife is in the medical profession and has had problems with patient's swelling and it causing a problem if the man is uncircumcised and needs a catheter. Sometimes they have needed to do it then, prior or just post heart surgery, when there are more significant (though not necessarily more personal) treatment decisions to be made. There have been patients who chose to turn down the procedure, who endured a lot of pain and I think she mentioned UTI's as well.

    She brings this up because I am anti-circ, but she feels strongly that it is in a boy's long term best interests. Neither of us have much love for the peen to begin with, so we won't be making the decision based upon intimate knowledge/experience :)  We are team green so there will be discussions to follow (which is good because I am not sure I am explaining things correctly in my post above- I'm not always a very good listener when I am hearing things I disagree with.) 

    Whatever decision we make, it will be amply reasoned and researched. 

    I'm still calling bunk on the potential medical complications that can arise from being un-circ'd. My H, his dad, his friends and every man he grew up with who is neither Jewish nor Muslim is un-circ'd and  - touch wood - has yet to experience any foreskin related issues.

    And it's good that you're not making the decision based on knowledge/experience. I personally find it really creepy when women cite wanting their son to "look like Daddy" as a reason for circ'ing their kid.

    But hooray for reason and research and good luck with your decision, BGG!

     

  • steverstever member
    imagePesky:
    Neither of us has felt any compelling need to judge the other's choice in the matter.  I don't think it was anything other than a passing discussion.
    I hope no one thinks I'm judging. Like I said in an earlier post, I'm all about doing what's best for your family, I just get defensive when disparaging are made  about uncirc'd willies.
  • imagestever:
    I hope no one thinks I'm judging. Like I said in an earlier post, I'm all about doing what's best for your family, I just get defensive when disparaging are made  about uncirc'd willies.

    LOL! Willies!  You can tell you're married to a Brit! Big Smile

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  • imageStrunella:
    Ok, I'll chime in too.  For us, it wasn't even a discussion; we both were in agreement to have DS circ'd.  Though I'm hearing that more people are opting not to have it done, in my informal poll of friends with boys, their sons are all circumcised.  Honestly, I just prefer the look of a circumcised man.

    Same here.

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  • M is circ'ed, DH is circ, my brother and BIL are circ'ed.  My BIL's son is not,  The BIL's rational is that it would reduce sensitivity.  First of all, how would BIL know and secondly, I think that a teenage boy would benefit from a reduction from sensitivity.
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  • steverstever member
    imagerobynlesley:

    imagestever:
    I hope no one thinks I'm judging. Like I said in an earlier post, I'm all about doing what's best for your family, I just get defensive when disparaging are made  about uncirc'd willies.

    LOL! Willies!  You can tell you're married to a Brit! Big Smile

    hehe... true. I'm also a fan of "fireman," but that's just because I used to watch too much South Park.
  • steverstever member

    imagevanverth:
    M is circ'ed, DH is circ, my brother and BIL are circ'ed.  My BIL's son is not,  The BIL's rational is that it would reduce sensitivity.  First of all, how would BIL know and secondly, I think that a teenage boy would benefit from a reduction from sensitivity.

    I've always wondered about the "sensitivity" issue as a rationale for either side. I mean no one's going to know for sure unless they're circ'd AFTER they've had sex. And, speaking as someone who's been with circ'd and uncirc'd guys, I don't think they can tell the difference. They seem to, er, enjoy themselves equally.

  • imageBostonGayGal:

    My wife is in the medical profession and has had problems with patient's swelling and it causing a problem if the man is uncircumcised and needs a catheter. Sometimes they have needed to do it then, prior or just post heart surgery, when there are more significant (though not necessarily more personal) treatment decisions to be made. There have been patients who chose to turn down the procedure, who endured a lot of pain and I think she mentioned UTI's as well.

    She brings this up because I am anti-circ, but she feels strongly that it is in a boy's long term best interests. Neither of us have much love for the peen to begin with, so we won't be making the decision based upon intimate knowledge/experience :)  We are team green so there will be discussions to follow (which is good because I am not sure I am explaining things correctly in my post above- I'm not always a very good listener when I am hearing things I disagree with.) 

    Whatever decision we make, it will be amply reasoned and researched. 

    I don't know if this will lean the debate for you at all, but L has been catheterized more times than I can count (no, really, he's got a lengthy medical history), and I've never heard comments from his nurses that it's been difficult to cath him ever, and |I asked him the last time he had it done (in Dec) and he said it didn't bother him at all. His uroligist has never once brought up circumcision either,FWIW.

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