To those struggling:

pinkeggs

I joined the boards about a year ago and did a little posting and a lot of lurking. I was excited to see this board because my daughters were born 19 months apart and DD2 was only about two months old when I joined.

It was nice to have support and get ideas, etc., but I have to admit that sometimes reading this board made me feel like I was "doing it wrong". There were a lot of "it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!" and "I wouldn't change it for the world" posts. I did not feel those things at all. 

Frankly, the first year kicked my butt. Neither of my kids STTN until just recently, and DD2 had severe reflux and a milk protein intolerance. I worried we had made a mistake by having them so close together. I ADORE DD2, and I won't say that I regret having her, but there were times that I regretted putting myself in that position (if that makes sense).

I am not saying this to scare anyone, and I do not think that the people who had an easier go of it were lying. Everyone has a different experience. But I felt really alone sometimes, like I was the only one really struggling. 

Anyway, the point of this post is this: DD1 is now 2.5 and DD2 is now 13 months old, and things are SOOO much better. They sleep, and not only that, they really love each other. They are finally in a place to play together, not just around each other, and I am getting a glimpse of how wonderful the next few years will be. The age difference is perfect They're best buds. 

I guess I feel like if I can come out of the first year saying everything will be OK, anyone can. And I promise: everything will be OK  

PhilsWife07

I can relate. The first three months of DS2's life were hell on earth and I frequently found myself wishing we had waited longer before having a second child. Now that he's 9 months old, things are much easier (with him at least--DS1 is another story now!). I will disclaim that I am still in search of the elusive "easy baby." My babies are the definition of high needs, which made two under two a lot more trying. 

earthboundmisfit

PhilsWife07:

I can relate. The first three months of DS2's life were hell on earth and I frequently found myself wishing we had waited longer before having a second child. Now that he's 9 months old, things are much easier (with him at least--DS1 is another story now!). I will disclaim that I am still in search of the elusive "easy baby." My babies are the definition of high needs, which made two under two a lot more trying. 

word. My DD2 is 7.5 months, and except for eating less often and sleeping *alittle* bit better, she's still as difficult as a newborn. Most days I'm carrying around a screaming DD2 while DD1 tugs at me, crying and trying to climb up my leg. Or I'm holding a screaming DD1 while DD2 sits on the floor and cries pathetically. It's overwelming and yeah..sometimes I wish we waited longer. But why not get all of the crazy out of the way at once lol. I know it won't always suck. If this is the worst my life will ever be, than I must be doing pretty dang good.

nypdrwj

earthboundmisfit:

PhilsWife07:

I can relate. The first three months of DS2's life were hell on earth and I frequently found myself wishing we had waited longer before having a second child. Now that he's 9 months old, things are much easier (with him at least--DS1 is another story now!). I will disclaim that I am still in search of the elusive "easy baby." My babies are the definition of high needs, which made two under two a lot more trying. 

word. My DD2 is 7.5 months, and except for eating less often and sleeping *alittle* bit better, she's still as difficult as a newborn. Most days I'm carrying around a screaming DD2 while DD1 tugs at me, crying and trying to climb up my leg. Or I'm holding a screaming DD1 while DD2 sits on the floor and cries pathetically. It's overwelming and yeah..sometimes I wish we waited longer. But why not get all of the crazy out of the way at once lol. I know it won't always suck. If this is the worst my life will ever be, than I must be doing pretty dang good.

Agreed. Not to be cheesy, I realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel but right now it's pitch black. Lol

sweetpea2003

One thing I kept in mind (and still keep in mind) during darker times is that newborns are NEVER easy.  That the first 6ish months of having a new baby is ALWAYS pretty darn hard.  I know I am lucky because my older child is very laid back, but I know many many women who have struggled bringing #2 into their family who waited for whatever that "perfect" age gap is.  Little ones are just soooo needy and it can be exhausting to be everything for everyone all the time.  Some nights after my kids are in bed I literally sit and stare out at nothing because I don't want ANY stimulation... no tv, no internet, no book, no magazine.  Just silence.  Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy! haha!

There are good days and bad days.  I think it is totally fair to put it out there that it can be pretty sucky sometimes.  For my own sanity, I try to stay as positive as I can because I am one of those people who needs to stay upbeat and optimistic in order to function.

pinkeggs

sweetpea2003:

One thing I kept in mind (and still keep in mind) during darker times is that newborns are NEVER easy.  That the first 6ish months of having a new baby is ALWAYS pretty darn hard.  I know I am lucky because my older child is very laid back, but I know many many women who have struggled bringing #2 into their family who waited for whatever that "perfect" age gap is.  Little ones are just soooo needy and it can be exhausting to be everything for everyone all the time.  Some nights after my kids are in bed I literally sit and stare out at nothing because I don't want ANY stimulation... no tv, no internet, no book, no magazine.  Just silence.  Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy! haha!

There are good days and bad days.  I think it is totally fair to put it out there that it can be pretty sucky sometimes.  For my own sanity, I try to stay as positive as I can because I am one of those people who needs to stay upbeat and optimistic in order to function.

So, so true. They could be 12 months or 12 years apart. Little ones are always hard!

12bailey18

Thank you so much for posting this. My kids will be 19 months apart the same time my husband gets a new job that will keep him away most of the time. I'm slightly freaking out about the whole thing. Thank you for giving me some hope that I will survive.

bridgeybride

Thank you for your honesty..

PhilsWife07

pinkeggs:

sweetpea2003:

One thing I kept in mind (and still keep in mind) during darker times is that newborns are NEVER easy.  That the first 6ish months of having a new baby is ALWAYS pretty darn hard.  I know I am lucky because my older child is very laid back, but I know many many women who have struggled bringing #2 into their family who waited for whatever that "perfect" age gap is.  Little ones are just soooo needy and it can be exhausting to be everything for everyone all the time.  Some nights after my kids are in bed I literally sit and stare out at nothing because I don't want ANY stimulation... no tv, no internet, no book, no magazine.  Just silence.  Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy! haha!

There are good days and bad days.  I think it is totally fair to put it out there that it can be pretty sucky sometimes.  For my own sanity, I try to stay as positive as I can because I am one of those people who needs to stay upbeat and optimistic in order to function.

So, so true. They could be 12 months or 12 years apart. Little ones are always hard!

Yes. But there's normal newborn hard, and then there's "Oh my God, what's wrong with your baby?" hard. That was DS2. 

lindzed

Thanks!  I'm just starting the its really hard point and I'm glad to know that it will get better.  Right now my DS spends most of the day screaming becuase his sister made a noise or I'm holding her.  I hoped it was a stage, but so far at week 3 we have not seen any progress in his behavior.  I have to admit I sometimes wonder if it will ever get better.  It's nice to know it will.

allie_smalls07

PhilsWife07:

I can relate. The first three months of DS2's life were hell on earth and I frequently found myself wishing we had waited longer before having a second child. Now that he's 9 months old, things are much easier (with him at least--DS1 is another story now!). I will disclaim that I am still in search of the elusive "easy baby." My babies are the definition of high needs, which made two under two a lot more trying. 

All of this for us too (except DD was horrid until about 5 1/2 - 6 months).  Also agree with your later statement about "normal" newborn hard and then the newborn hard we've experienced. 

kattyleigh

I too appreciate your honestly.  I am freaking out as each day passes (see ticker).  I remember feeling so dark and drained with just DD for the first few months.  Now she is such a mama's girl and I'm really nervous.  I suppose I am going into this next stage with the mantra that got me through the first 9 months of DD's life: "everything is a stage".  I absolutely love where DD is at now and know that all of the sleepless nights, teeth, hormone shifts in me, etc., all will eventually pay off.  I just need to keep reminding myself that IT WILL GET BETTER.