Need big time advice on 2 year old sleep regression

vtmezzo

I expected to be sleep deprived with a newborn in the house, but not like this. The baby sleeps fine inbetween feedings - it's the 2 year old that is killing us right now. He's always been a great sleeper, taken naps relatively well and gone to bed without a peep, sleeping from 7:30-6:30. 

UNTIL NOW!

In the past 2 weeks, he has refused bedtime. We've gone through the same routines we always have, bathtime, brushing teeth, stories, lights out - and where he used to put his head on his pillow and go to sleep, the screaming starts. We've been trying everything from Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child - the other night after putting him back in bed nonstop for over 2 hours, he accidentally locked his door from the inside and instead of unlocking it, we let him tantrum himself to sleep on the floor of his room by his door. I felt terrible but we are just beyond exhausted. I can't function on 1-2 hours of sleep per night especially with him not napping.

On top of that, it's not just bedtime, he's waking up 1-2 more times in the middle of the night and throwing the same screaming fits when we put him back in bed. I'm so exhausted I honestly can't even think of what our options are here. In my sleep deprived state I'm really tempted to just lie down with him until he falls asleep but DH thinks we will be setting ourselves up for trouble if we try to break that later down the road.  

Sorry this is so incoherent and rambling, I'm just at the end of my rope. Add to it a baby who is still nursing every 2 hours - my life has become a nightmare! Did anyone else go through this with a previously good sleeper and how did you finally resolve it? I'm really regretting the big boy bed at this point - at least in the crib he couldn't climb out. Never saw this coming, that's for sure. I don't want to resort to locking his door because I don't want bedtime to become a trauma, but since it seems it already is...

HELP!?!? 

VARedhead

I don't have any advice for you; just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this! I would have lost it by now!

Could the new baby be what's messing up his routine? Or could he be stressed out by it?

Anyway, I hope he works it out soon, for everyone's sake!

Sofka

how is he with the baby? IMO, he's regressing to make you pay attention to him b/c he sees how much attention you pay to the baby. DD still does that and DS is now 1. I'll tell her he's teething and she'll say her teeth hurt, he walks, falls down and I go to comfort him and she cries "I want to hurt my head too" and when I ask if she wants to get hurt b/c she wants attention and kisses, she says yes. She did the same with diapers when he was a newborn and will even now sometimes say she wants to be a baby. That's my opinion as to why.

As to what to do about it, I am not sure, can you pay more attention to him? Who put him down before baby? who does it now? Will it help if you have some one-on-one time with him? Do you nurse #2? He might be jealous of how much attention the baby is getting.

my 1 y.o. is still not STTN so I know what you mean, I hope things get better for you fast. You may just have to let him CIO, I don't know...

 

vml14

I agree with the others... it's likely attention getting since new baby has arrived.  My daughter hasn't had trouble with nighttime sleep, yet, but did reduce her naptime to about an hour instead of her usual 2-3 hours for the first 10 days we were home.  Since then, though, it has gotten a bit better, so there is hope.

While it is obviously hard with a newborn, maybe making an extra effort in the next couple of weeks to focus on the big kid as much as possible will help?  I have noticed that on the days that we get out and my daughter sees and plays with her friends, or we go to a park and we play while baby stays in the stroller her behavior is much better.  If you aren't already, wear the baby as much as you can so you have hands free to play with the big kid.  I've heard from friends that it's sometimes a bit worse the older the big kid is, but it will pass.  Hang in there.  Either way, you will feel like you are neglecting one of them (I know I do), but just remember, in the end they will both be just fine.

tracy042206

I am so sorry, especially about those middle of the night wakeups.  Molly went through a period with middle of the night wakeups and she is still going through crying herself to sleep most nights.  Actually the only thing that works to put her down with little to no crying is to have my DH do it.  It is crazy how she screams bloody murder for 1 hour for me and just bids DH "Nigh Nigh, See ooo in da mornin". 

For us I would go in for the middle of the night wakeups because she was easy to put back down.  Just a little rocking and she would fall back to sleep if I got to her before she got too worked up.  I was worried about making it worse but they did cut out on their own after a little while.  

The naptime and nighttime screaming did go on for quite a few months.  Just yesterday was the first time I put her down for a nap and she did not scream for me so hopefully we are moving on.  Good luck!

vtmezzo

Thanks ladies. Last night he actually stayed in his bed and only whimpered for a few minutes before falling asleep with the door wide open but I'm not sure if he was admitting defeat or just exhausted from not having slept much recently. We praised him BIG TIME this morning for staying in his big boy bed all night. Although I still think he's possibly overly tired, I'm not going to fight the nap battle anymore. With any luck maybe he'll fall asleep sitting with me and then I get get a quick catnap! Fingers crossed that this trend continues.