Any CIO tips?

sarahjared

I have considered trying it and the pedi mentioned it to DH.  Any tips?  My biggest worry is that he will cry so hard he will make himself sick.  When is enough, enough and you go get them?

wildfloweragain

We did it for an hour max.  I think once or twice between all 3 kids it hit an hour. Don't go in or you'll teach him to wait that long, and it will actually make it worse.  I left the monitor off for the first bit and took a shower - makes it easier to take.  Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child so you'll know the reasoning behind it - helps to know there are good reasons.

 

It really shouldn't have to go on for more than a week.  For us with both older kids it was like 45 min the first day, then 30, then 20, 10...

 

The baby never really needed it, although I just let her CIO today because for some reason she had trouble going down for her nap.  It was 45-50 min and she's been sleeping blissfully for 2 hours.

tslmom87

sarahjared:

I have considered trying it and the pedi mentioned it to DH.  Any tips?  My biggest worry is that he will cry so hard he will make himself sick.  When is enough, enough and you go get them?

Your his mother you should know that! I don't support cio, but perhaps you should get some books to educate yourself first.

juniper19

AndysWifey342010:

sarahjared:

I have considered trying it and the pedi mentioned it to DH.  Any tips?  My biggest worry is that he will cry so hard he will make himself sick.  When is enough, enough and you go get them?

Your his mother you should know that! I don't support cio, but perhaps you should get some books to educate yourself first.

While I'm not sure I agree with the tone of this message, I do agree with the message. You should read up on Ferber and weissbluth (you don't need their books - there's plenty online) and just trust your instincts. My dd never cried for more than 20 minutes, and once we finished it she was the greatest sleeper ever. My ds cried for a really long time and I just knew that it wasn't the right approach for him. But it is worth a shot. A couple nights of crying is not going to cause any damage.

wildfloweragain

Wow, AndeysWifey, I hope you never come here for advice!  People might tell you to go get some books and educate yourself.  You make it sound like other peoples' experience is not valuable or that she has no right to ask.

 

I came back to add that you should make sure your child isn't sick, has a clean diaper, full belly, etc. before you try cio so you can be confident those needs are met and aren't worrying about those things while he is crying.

tslmom87

LMAO! First off, tone wasn't being rude, By 6 months you know your baby well enough, to know when enough is enough! Instincts, mommy gut! Books will help or even the internet! Dr Sears has some wonderful sleep reads on that website.

Geez!

Ciarrai

Per my pedi, it takes 3 days/nights to make or break a habit.  Every time you "give in" will add 2 nights to that.  Like I said in my pp, we turned off the monitor (nursery is right next to our room so we still heard them) and let them cry.  No one cried longer than 20-25 minutes, but it felt like ages and ages.  I know it's really rough and it will break your heart, but it is worth it (IMHO). 

FWIW - The kids never seem to notice or remember in the morning and they are so much happier and easier during the day once they're sleeping well at night.

ETA - Like some of the pp hinted at, you should, of course, make sure your baby is dry and not sick or teething or anything. Of course, we didn't do CIO when they were teething or if anything was wrong that we could fix (like a dirty diaper).

Cbidt's girl

Definitely read a little on weisbluth and Ferber. They both address sleep training but with different approaches. Both have researched theories. The big difference between the 2 is that weisbleuth is more hard core CIO (true extinction with reagrd to learning theory) and Ferber is graduated (you go in and check with longer intervals). For us, it depended on the kid. We did weisbluth with great success with DS1. Ds2 would have cried forever. I was sure it would work so I stuck it out with ds2 and he cried way longer, for more nights on end, than I was comfortable with. Turns out, ferbers method worked better for him. Biggest point of advice - make sure you and dh are on same page.

Cbidt's girl

AndysWifey342010:

sarahjared:

I have considered trying it and the pedi mentioned it to DH.  Any tips?  My biggest worry is that he will cry so hard he will make himself sick.  When is enough, enough and you go get them?

Your his mother you should know that! I don't support cio, but perhaps you should get some books to educate yourself first.

some times mothers feel conflicted and don't know what the right answer is. I find the best decisions often come after wrestling with a hard question.

CubbyMama

I hhhhhhhated Weissbluth's book with a bloody blue passion.  His snotty, holier-than-thou tone and his constant implications that anyone who isn't willing to let their kid scream his lungs out for several hours a night deserves the sleep deprivation they get (and, of course, the irreversible damage their child will suffer from not being properly trained to sleep independently) made me want to throw the book across the room.

Ferber's book, and Good Night, Sleep Tight by "The Sleep Lady" both helped us, but in the end, I learned that you have to do what's right for you and your kid.  With DD1, I felt held hostage by the methods in these books, couldn't decide which one to use, and felt like I couldn't deviate from whatever I chose for fear of ruining the whole thing.  With K, that meant one night I let her cry for an hour and a half, until she was hoarse, while I sat in the living room and cried alone, terrified that if I went and got her, I would have "wasted" all the time she'd already cried and just have to start over again.  I was so sleep-deprived I could barely function, and she was waking every 30-45 minutes every night, all night long, so I felt like I had to do something, but this wasn't the answer.  I ended up going in and getting her and never did CIO again, and I regret that night even now.

That's not to say DD2 never cried or fussed in her crib; but if I felt like she really wanted/needed me, I went and got her.  If I felt like she was just fussing and would work it out, I'd let her be for a while.  It didn't ruin anything because I didn't stick to every letter of some sleep expert's advice.  My point is, do your research, but don't let some jerk tell you how to raise your kid if you don't feel like it's right.  GL!

Cbidt's girl

CubbyMama:

I hhhhhhhated Weissbluth's book with a bloody blue passion.  His snotty, holier-than-thou tone and his constant implications that anyone who isn't willing to let their kid scream his lungs out for several hours a night deserves the sleep deprivation they get (and, of course, the irreversible damage their child will suffer from not being properly trained to sleep independently) made me want to throw the book across the room.

Ferber's book, and Good Night, Sleep Tight by "The Sleep Lady" both helped us, but in the end, I learned that you have to do what's right for you and your kid.  With DD1, I felt held hostage by the methods in these books, couldn't decide which one to use, and felt like I couldn't deviate from whatever I chose for fear of ruining the whole thing.  With K, that meant one night I let her cry for an hour and a half, until she was hoarse, while I sat in the living room and cried alone, terrified that if I went and got her, I would have "wasted" all the time she'd already cried and just have to start over again.  I was so sleep-deprived I could barely function, and she was waking every 30-45 minutes every night, all night long, so I felt like I had to do something, but this wasn't the answer.  I ended up going in and getting her and never did CIO again, and I regret that night even now.

That's not to say DD2 never cried or fussed in her crib; but if I felt like she really wanted/needed me, I went and got her.  If I felt like she was just fussing and would work it out, I'd let her be for a while.  It didn't ruin anything because I didn't stick to every letter of some sleep expert's advice.  My point is, do your research, but don't let some jerk tell you how to raise your kid if you don't feel like it's right.  GL!

I must say - I agree with lots of this, especially the snotty holier than thou attitude of weisbluth.