F/u am I overreacting

MrsRyan61804

I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond back while at work.

I want to thank you all for your support and making me feel like my concerns are legitimate.

I will say again, I love my Dh and trust him. We are always very honest with each other and very open about everything. I have no doubts that this is just a friend and have never had any problems with them going to dinner a few times a year. To be honest I don't really want to go, I don't want them to have to include me in their conversations and he is entitled to have friends he can share common interests with male or female. Dh has never invited me to go with them and I have never asked or made an issue of it. This is the first time he is seeing her since we had Jack and I think he just wants her to meet him, figured I wouldn't want to go especially after working all day, he would give me the night off and everyone would be happy.

My issue is not with Dh going to dinner with her, what made me uneasy was him taking my son to meet someone I don't know. I don't know if she is good with children, if she smokes, or if she would be in his face loving on him to much. I trust Dh would take great care of him while with her, but something just didn't feel right.

When I got home I brought it up and Dh again said I was being silly, but he didn't want to take him if I wasn't ok with it. After discussing my feelings about it he listed all the above reasons for not inviting me. He knows I don't like to go out on weeknights and thought I could use a break and he would get the chance to show Jack off. He then invited me, to which I declined. It has been a long day and after all the drama I stirred up I would feel weird going at this point. 

I feel badly that I won't let him take Jack. He shouldn't need approval to take his son somewhere. I also feel insecure as a mom not a wife. This is the part where I think I am being silly. I think another women around my son when I am not there threatens me. I have no idea why but the idea of her kissing, and hugging on him makes me ill. I don't want her playing mommy with my baby.

So again thanks ladies for your thoughts, and please know that my Dh is not fooling around behind my back and that we have a happy marriage and trust each other enough to allow each other to go out without the other, just not with our son 

DavezWife

you know your husband and marriage best. I don't get a bad vibe from the situation, and I don't think you were out of line with your thinking. In some ways, it's nice to have dialoge about this kind of stuff... I had a thing years ago when Davez went OOT to a convention, and I HATED this co-worker/woman who went as well. I FLIPPED OUT when I learned they had a bottle of wine together on her patio (hers overlooked the main drag in New Orleans) and we still bicker about that.  While I KNOW nothing happened, I still didn't care for the situation.

 

Mouseygail

I'm glad that things are resolved and like I said earlier, I would have felt the same way!! (including the insecurity thing afterwards!!)

SeaSoul

I believe you, 100%.  I can totally understand where you're coming from, and I don'tt hink someone outside your marriage can determine anything from this 1 story.  I trust my DH 100% - not a single doubt in my mind that he is as trustworthy as they come.  I can see us being in a similar situation (he has lots of female friends) and given the right situation & mood, my possibly feeling weird about it, but deep down not really distrustrusting him.  So, it sounds like you guys worked it out, and that is great!