I just about had to splash'a'bich. LOL.

DavezWife

(Warning: kinda a downer story, ignore if you want to stay in a good mood)

I took Ava to the (outdoor) splashpad by our house today. About time that kid got a normal day of "kid fun" in.  We had a lovely time. It was fun to see how brave she is this year compared to last. Just "dove" right in.

There was a mom there who had 4 kids (ages 2-8?) sitting in or near their stroller, on the sidelines. Just crying. Not doing anything. Just crying. One of them appeared to be special needs, perhaps blind and delayed, not sure. Well, a few minutes later she literally DRAGS this young gal over the waterfall area, and is PULLING with all her might to get her under the water. The kid is SCREAMING bloody murder, and the mom is ripping her arms off trying to get her wet.

And smiling. The mom was smiling. Now the family appeared to be from another country, just seeing their clothes/language/skin color, so perhaps their parenting skills are a little different than ours. But this kid was SCARED, and the moms around the sides were all horrified. Yet everyone just watched her torment this kid.

I finally strolled by and shot her a nasty look. It seemed to worked, she let the girl go back to her seat, and gave her a huge bag of dollar store cookies and shasta. (the poor girl was quite overweight to begin with, too)

You'd think this would be the end of it, right? Nope. she grabbed ANOTHER ONE, frozen in fear, and did the same thing. This one was kicked and screaming and looked terrified. I looked at the moms next to me and said "this isn't right, RIGHT? I mean, I'm not the only one horrified by this?" and they agreed. Yet sat there.

I told Ava to get her buckets and fill them up. I took them all over to where she was, and looked right at her and said "Unless you want these on your head, maybe give the kids a little break. They don't seem to be having fun."  She let the kid go, laughed at me (it kinda seemed a nervous laughter, and perhaps lost in translation??) but that seemed to be the end of it. She loaded them up and left a few minutes later. If she does that in public, what MUST she do at home????

I don't know if I just get a lil' more worked up than some moms, or why this crap seems to find me at playgrounds, etc. but DAMNIT! Give me all or any of those kids, and I will love them more. The fear in their eyes has been making me weepy all day. So sad.

I'm going to see if I can rig the water guns to shoot a little further for next time, lol.

 

sescms2004

DavezWife:

If she does that in public, what MUST she do at home????

 

This is what saddens me the most   Stories like this are so very heartbreaking.  I wish I had balls as big as you whenever I see things like this.

NiniJ55

Wow is all I can say.  I'm so glad you stood up for them.  I'm not sure if I would have been "brave" enough had I been in that situation -- sometimes you just don't know what to do.  But you did the right thing.  And you are right - I  can't imagine how she must treat them at home - scary. 

ladychicago

Good for you. Those poor kids...

DavezWife

I'm not kidding, if those water canons would have reached over to her side, I would have blasted her right in the face. I don't give a chit. lol.  Someone had to stand up for those kids. I mean, I get playing around, and having fun... it's a splashpad, time to get wet. But those kids were TERRIFIED. It was not fun for them.

 

sliz

I wasn't there but I feel like people on this board are judgy about parenting techniques, esp from different countries/immigrants. Maybe she was just desperate to get her kids assimilated and having fun and thought if she could just get them into the activity area, they would enjoy it. Did she smack or beat the kids up in front of you?

LucyPevensie

Eh, I judge all cultures and ethnicities equally when it comes to terrifying young children.  White, brown, purple - I don't discriminate when I judge.  All children are the same - and don't experience hurt, pain or fear any differently due to culture, color, religion or ethnicity. 

:: runs inside of swan shaped ice sculpture and peers out ::

:: falls asleep ::

DavezWife

sliz:

I wasn't there but I feel like people on this board are judgy about parenting techniques, esp from different countries/immigrants. Maybe she was just desperate to get her kids assimilated and having fun and thought if she could just get them into the activity area, they would enjoy it. Did she smack or beat the kids up in front of you?

she HAD to have been hurting their arms. She was CRANKING on them, dragging them as they flailed.  I can get your point, but this is NOT what it was.  I was actually trying to cut her some slack, b/c as I said, perhaps that culture parents differently. But was not playing, she was mean and the kids were TERRIFIED.

ETA, like LucyPee says, I would have done the same thing if she was super rich or had 3 purple heads. Those kids needed help.

wvagirl

I would have been horrified too.  Glad you said something.  Even if she didn't understand at least she cut it out. 

Spockles

Oh, T- Were you at the Oak Hill pad? DS and I were there this afternoon as well around 3:45. :-)   I understand that you see this and judge the woman, try to remember that you don't always know the whole story. DS acts the same way, even when he's not being provoked. He was terrified of the_damn splash pad today. Didn't want to go over by the water at all. I did pick him up and carry him to one of the spouts to try to get him to touch it. He was also screaming and causing a scene (he seems to be louder than most kids his age), so I'm sure other parents were judging me. I feel like he has to experience these things in order to get over his severe anxiety for these types of situations.

I too was smiling and saying "yay!! This is so much fun" to try and ease DS into it more. Instead, he would rather just open and close the freakin' gates. LOL!!! And had I been the one who you gave a nasty look to, I probably would have waved at you. (as I have in a few instances recently to people staring and glaring at me and my child who often causes a scene when he gets anxious/overstimulated...ect)

 -Not trying to sound mean or snarky cuz you know I think you're awesome. :-)

kimberic

Some people do not deserve to have children.

I love that you said something though!!

Spockles

kimberic:

Some people do not deserve to have children.

I love that you said something though!!

The bolded sentence makes me sad. When DS was an infant and in a total leg cast to correct his clubfoot, a lady made the same remark to her friend about me (as if I dropped my child and broke his leg.) People really are quick to judge others about their parenting styles and apparently going through IF causes people to judge even quicker, I think.

ela81

Spockles:

Oh, T- Were you at the Oak Hill pad? DS and I were there this afternoon as well around 3:45. :-)   I understand that you see this and judge the woman, try to remember that you don't always know the whole story. DS acts the same way, even when he's not being provoked. He was terrified of the_damn splash pad today. Didn't want to go over by the water at all. I did pick him up and carry him to one of the spouts to try to get him to touch it. He was also screaming and causing a scene (he seems to be louder than most kids his age), so I'm sure other parents were judging me. I feel like he has to experience these things in order to get over his severe anxiety for these types of situations.

I too was smiling and saying "yay!! This is so much fun" to try and ease DS into it more. Instead, he would rather just open and close the freakin' gates. LOL!!! And had I been the one who you gave a nasty look to, I probably would have waved at you. (as I have in a few instances recently to people staring and glaring at me and my child who often causes a scene when he gets anxious/overstimulated...ect)

 -Not trying to sound mean or snarky cuz you know I think you're awesome. :-)

While I get what you are saying as my dd has ASD I also know it makes us that much more sensitive b/c we do get looks and comments b/c our children look typical but, from DW description it sounds just mean.  I get having to get kids over certain fears but, I believe there is a way, time and place.  Izzy forgets she like certain foods (sweet potato) so we force it into her mouth by holding her head and keeping her arms down (it sounds mean, I know) however, we never do it in public b/c we realize it looks awful to an onlooker. After that first bite she eats it on her own with no problem (it's not out of fear for anybody who is judging...we don't force her to eat things) While I don't believe you live your life based on how others see you, you have to recognize when something may look really bad to others. 

In ref to the bold- I think that's what DW was getting at, it was not done loving. Your description sounds loving and caring and when it did not work out you did not keep him there. I get her kids are older (maybe she can't carry them) but it did not come across in the writing that there was anything loving about it.

Based on your description DW I say good for you for saying something.  I also wonder about the home life if they think that is okay in public.

DavezWife

Mel, you're one of the most dedicated and sweet moms I've met. (we missed you by an hour! lol)  This woman, was not. She was MEAN.  Everyone can think I was being Judgey MckJudgerson, that's ok. You weren't there. You haven't been crying all day remembering the horror in those kid's faces. It wasn't "just water" to them.

and the wave thing - GOOD for you! I love it. I love your parenting style around the challenges you guys have!

kimberic

Spockles:

kimberic:

Some people do not deserve to have children.

I love that you said something though!!

The bolded sentence makes me sad. When DS was an infant and in a total leg cast to correct his clubfoot, a lady made the same remark to her friend about me (as if I dropped my child and broke his leg.) People really are quick to judge others about their parenting styles and apparently going through IF causes people to judge even quicker, I think.

It is true. Some people do not deserve to have children.

sliz

kimberic:

Spockles:

kimberic:

Some people do not deserve to have children.

I love that you said something though!!

The bolded sentence makes me sad. When DS was an infant and in a total leg cast to correct his clubfoot, a lady made the same remark to her friend about me (as if I dropped my child and broke his leg.) People really are quick to judge others about their parenting styles and apparently going through IF causes people to judge even quicker, I think.

It is true. Some people do not deserve to have children.

Maybe - but i dont think that you have a right to make that call about this lady when you weren't there and don't know what their parenting customs, style and needs may be.

perry7285

oh my god. that's horrible. i'm glad you said something--at least you saved the kids from that particular bout of abuse.

mechanicsgirl

It finds you at playgrounds because you're one of the few (unfortunately) mama's who will stand up for those poor kids.  Kudos to you, T.

 

Poor kids.