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Baby Showers
Pregnancy Announcement at a Shower?
So I'm newly pregnant and have shared this with a friend who's shower is coming up in 2 weeks. I wasn't even considering it but she really wants me to announce with all of our friends there together!
1. Is this tacky? Since the guest of honor suggested it, I'm thinking no but I wanted some feedback
2. If I do this, what could I give her to open as a surprise for everyone else?
Mama to a baby girl born 1/21/2012.
Currently back stateside but missing Kenya!
Currently back stateside but missing Kenya!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pregnancy Announcement at a Shower?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
1. I personally wouldn't announce it at her shower because I wouldn't want to look like an AW. Not everyone is going to know it was the guest-of-honor's idea. Plus personally we didn't announce until 2nd trimester, but that's totally up to you. I think it would be fine to tell people individually at the shower but not make a big production of it.
2. I'm not sure what you are asking. It's a shower; bring a gift off her registry for her to open.
Married Filing Jointly Blog
If that is what she wants its not tacky at all...in fact its rather cute if you two are close!!!
hmmm...I dont know something really cute..maybe she can do a game with it and have everyone who is at the shower guess...like have someone annouce they are playing the first game at the shower and ppl have to guess who else has a bun in the oven...have everyone write it done and someone tally them up..but keep everyone guessing while other games are being played...then maybe the guest would guess it was you or you girls can tell them!! Good luck
and Congrats
https://babywaters.wordpress.com/
1. I wouldn't do it- I had the option to do this and decided very easily to keep it to myself. Even if it's the guest-of-honor's idea, not everyone will know. I'd be afraid of looking like an AW. Plus, the celebration is supposed to be about her and her baby, so I'd feel awkward with people congratulating or focusing on me -even if just briefly. Better safe than sorry imho.
2. I assume you're thinking that if you do announce, you'd like to do it via your gift to the mom-to-be. Something FOR her, but that somehow shares the news? I would DEFINITELY NOT do that. I don't think you can do that at all without looking like an AW or bringing way too much focus on yourself- particularly when the gift is for HER. Even if people don't give you the side eye for #1, they're bound to for #2. If you announce, keep it brief, low key, and involve the guest of honor in the announcement so it doesn't look like you're hijacking the party.
www.cozylittlecave.com
Don't do it. Her shower and your pregnancy announcement are 2 separate and unrelated events and should remain so.
Let her enjoy her day in the spotlight. You'll get yours soon enough.
Thanks for the feedback ladies! To be honest, the only reasons I'm considering are because it was HER idea and because it is the only time I'll see this group of friends for another 6 months (I live across the country).
I was thinking of doing it as her gift because I don't have another non-awkward way to do it. I am thinking I don't want to do it but if I do, I think you guys are right that I should have her do it. I also have a sneaking suspicion that the "who's next" discussion will come up so I think I'll just play it by ear.
Thanks again for your advice!!!
Currently back stateside but missing Kenya!
THIS. Even if it was her idea, I would just say "thank you, but I would like to tell our friends at a separate time."
My response to her would be that I am not going to take the focus off of her and her baby... if she wants to announce it or let it slip that is a whole other situation but the words would not be coming out of my mouth.
If she really wants you to with all your friends and you feel comfortable with it, I would do it at the end or something. Aside from her gifts and cake etc.
At my work I had told a few people, and that day we were having a shower for another girl at work. The 2 girls I told wanted me to tell everyone then and I didn't feel right as it was her day. At the shower everyone was guessing who would be next and said me, and started asking when we were having kids so I just ended up telling. So if you plan on waiting just be prepared in case they do try to have the who's next conversation & ambush you, I was completely caught off guard!
A friend of mine made an announcement of sorts at my shower, not PG related, and I totally didn't mind, but some other friends told me the other at dinner that they thought it was completely rude and kind of rained on my big day. I told them it wasn't a big deal to me and didn't bother me at all, but they all still said that they thought it was rude and tacky. As the guest of honor I didn't look at it that way, but I can see now as a guest at the party who didn't know that it wasn't an issue for me that they thought it was rude.
That said I think I would let your friend have her day and then announce your pregnancy another day. Maybe suggest a ladies brunch/lunch or something where you can announce it.
I'm totally confused by your second question.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
I completely agree with this. Don't steal her thunder, even if it was her idea.
Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
I came to this board because I have a similar question. I posed it to my birth month board and the responses were similar to yours. In my case, and it sounds like the same is true in yours, I will not see these people for a long time afterward, so I am really torn.
For me, this was supposed to just be a family visit with all of DH's siblings and his parents. His family is really close and I have been looking forward to telling them this since before we TTC. We had already decided to announce then, and even started TTC a month early so that we could potentially be a couple of months along by time we knew we were going to see them all in person.
But then his family decided to throw his other sister a surprise, family-only shower...not knowing we are bringing our own surpise. Which makes things really confusing for us because we don't know what to do now. DH is adamant that it would be a "wonderful" addition to the shower and that SIL would love it. And I hope she would. But I am still a little hesitant based on the stuff I am reading on here.
We will also see his family that night, following the shower, and the following day... are one of those much better to announce? I just feel like she'll be like... what the heck you should have said something sooner!
I really don't want to keep it a secret the whole weekend because (1) I am dying to tell them! (2) They will figure it out anyway based on my beverage and dietary limitations and I don't want it to come out like that. (3) We want to tell in person and won't have another opportunity for a good while.
Also, I bet during the shower SIL will mention 100 times, "when are we doing this for you?" or "aren't you going to have kids soon?" In which case I will have to either lie or come up with a lot of ways to not answer the question directly.
I know this is long. I am just getting stressed by the issue and I'd love more feedback!!
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018
In your situation and even in the OPs if it applies, I would tell them that night following the shower or the next day, that seems completely appropriate to me. I definitely don't think your SIL owns the weekend because her shower is happening then, but I do think you should give her the time at her shower to just be about her and her baby.
If SIL fishes for info at the shower I would just hold it in, even though it will be hard, because it will steal the attention from her and while it may not bother her initially it could bug her in the long term.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
agt every shower I've been to, there is a time when everyone is just socializing and eating. To me, that would be more the time to annouce. Not during her gift opening. To me, that is what really makes her shower about YOU. So - don't do a gift about your baby, or what have you.
Maybe when the cake is served, that might be a nice time for her to say "Hey, so, I need to turn the floor over because my good friend has something to say..."
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I think that announcing it at the shower is completely inappropriate and AW. It is also going to be early for public announcements - you are still very early on in your pregnancy.
If you were going to get together with these friends for dinner or something after the shower, that would be fine. But do not do it at the event. That is tacky and people will think you're an AW.
I'm in the "don't announce at the shower" camp, but if you do, please be sensitive to others and don't to the guess-who-it-is thing. This happened to me (someone else was pregnant but everyone was guessing it was me) and having just had MC #2 -- that no one knew about -- I burst into tears and it was really terrible for everyone! Your news is so happy, but the guessing game can be really sad for others...just a thought. Good luck!
Even though it was her idea, it would still come off as kinda tacky if she's not in on the annoucement somehow. Personally, unless she "outed" me and surprised me with it, I would insist that the shower is her day, and she's the one who should get all of the attention. And then maybe get together after the shower with some of your close friends who will be there (and you won't see for several months) and tell them then...