4-year-old with bad temper

LizLovesJason

Over the past year or so, my older DS has made a lot of progress in controlling his temper, but he still struggles sometimes. Today he got mad at me and pushed me (while I was holding his baby brother), then stood and glared at me while I scolded him. Needless to say, he was in big trouble. After being sent to his room, he came down and apologized. We had a talk about what he did, and he seemed genuinely sorry and sad that he had acted that way.

The doctor recommended sending him to his room to "cool off" when he gets mad, and he's been good lately about going up there and then coming down after he's calmed down. However, it's frustrating that he still can blow his top so easily (it seems to always be with the family--his preschool teacher said she's never even seen him angry). When he's not losing his temper, he's so sweet and kind. Anyone have tips on helping a preschooler learn to control his temper?

veloelle

Does he have a trigger? DD's bad behavior is usually related to being hungry, she can be atrocious. See if you can ID triggers and address that before his temper starts. Hugs, it is frustrating.

Starr57

I think you are doing everything you can. At 4, they still have a hard time controlling emotions (heck, I'm almost 30 and I struggle with it!) so teaching him to remove himself from the situation when he is upset is the best you can do. It's very frustrating, especially when it is targeted at family.

JenniC1135

You just described DD to a tee.  I'm interested in the responses you get because I am at the end of my rope with her temper.  Today, she kicked DS2 because she didn't like the movie I was renting from Redbox so they could have a special movie and lunch picnic thing.  She just hauled off and kicked him out of nowhere. 

shouldbworkin

Try and walk him through an appropriate response.  Like say "DS, you're getting upset around you?  When I start to get mad/sad/frustrated, I do XYZ?  What do you think you can do when you feel that way?"  The next time he starts to feel that way, remind him what he can do about it.  DS likes to blow raspberries w/o any spit (lol).  As much as the noise drives me crazy, it's how he blows off steam.  I like to take a deep breath.  When I start to feel like I'm going to blow, I tell DS and say that I need to take a deep breath or time out, so that he sees it goes both ways and there are better ways to deal with it.