At what age do they understand the Golden Rule?

CD+AL

You know...Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.  I know this isn't something that they get early on, but I've been trying to get DS to think things through.  For example:

Me: "DS, would you like it if H pinched your cheeks like that?" 

DS: "No."

Me: "Well, I don't think that H likes it either.  Remember, you shouldn't do something that you wouldn't want someone to do to you."  And repeat the entire scenario 50x/day or more.

I don't expect him to be perfect at it.  Heck, most adults aren't super at it either, but at what point will he get better at being able to think about his actions and act accordingly from this perspective.  Anyone have any insight?

franciscaz

I don't know but I hope it is soon!!!!  I think 10x a day or more we are reminding Harmon, "don't force the twins to do something (or hurt the twins, or steal a toy, etc.), they are a human like you are and feel sad like you do".

luvmagoldn

I thought I read somewhere that empathy like that comes together around six or seven.  Before that they have no impulse controll and just can't comprehend the "how would you like it if that happened to you" kind of thinking.

For now, I just say "we don't hit" or "hitting hurts."  I also make them say sorry to each other.  I'm pretty sure they don't mean it yet but it never hurts to get them used to saying it! 

bim38106

luvmagoldn:

I thought I read somewhere that empathy like that comes together around six or seven.  Before that they have no impulse controll and just can't comprehend the "how would you like it if that happened to you" kind of thinking.

For now, I just say "we don't hit" or "hitting hurts."  I also make them say sorry to each other.  I'm pretty sure they don't mean it yet but it never hurts to get them used to saying it! 

I recently went to some parent conference thing and this is what they told us too. At this age, they can't even tell you why really...just because it seemed right at that moment. They don't process the action past that, in the moment.