How many hours per day do you spend at the hospital?

vigurl

I have been spending 8-12 hrs per day at the hospital the past 9 days.  I am getting close to the point where emotionally and physically I dont think I can keep this us.  I am too tired, overwhelmed and fustrated to do this when I have no idea how much longer he is going to be in the nicu.

Do you ladies go to the hospital every day?  For how long? 

kck329

You need to give yourself a break. Get out for an afternoon-get a manicure, a haircut, take a nap, go shopping. Anything to relax you and take care of yourself a little bit.

I spend 8-10 hours a day in the NICU almost every one of the 72 days my DD was there.  However, every weekend my DH took over and made me stay home and do something for myself. It was hard to be away from her but it helped me keep my sanity. We also left early some nights so we could eat a real dinner together, I think that helped our marriage.

Don't feel guilty for taking some time off. The NICU is a marathon experience, pace yourself and take care of your needs too. 

katie4253

I have a room here.  They let NICU moms board at my hospital.  So, I don't think mine is probably a fair comparison. 

But, I get here about 10 every day and stay until about 5:30.  Then, I go home to eat.  After that I come back from 7:30-9:30.  So, I am here about 9 hrs a day.  Today I did leave to run an errand and to get something to eat.  But, that was about an hour.  

coachg

Wow. This makes me feel like a terrible mom! DH and I go twice am day for about 1.5 hours/visit.I work out of my home office but don't want to take maternity leave until I can bring im home so I have to work during the day.

vigurl

coachg:

Wow. This makes me feel like a terrible mom! DH and I go twice am day for about 1.5 hours/visit.I work out of my home office but don't want to take maternity leave until I can bring im home so I have to work during the day.

 

Dont feel bad.  I also work from home and I am seriously considering going back to work for the same reason you did.  Also I need something to distract me. 

katie4253

coachg:

Wow. This makes me feel like a terrible mom! DH and I go twice am day for about 1.5 hours/visit.I work out of my home office but don't want to take maternity leave until I can bring im home so I have to work during the day.

Coach, don't feel bad.  I go to my room for big chunks of the day.  I do not sit in the NICU for hours on end.  

mrsV719

When LO was in the NICU in the city we went at night for about 3-4 hours. Once he moved to the Special Care Nursery in our town we went for 4-5 hours at night during the week. On the weekends we went in for his 10am feed, went out and did stuff, went back for his 6pm feed... so all together we were there for like 6-7 hours, but broken up. 

I HIGHLY suggest getting out and doing something for yourself. I got a wax, hair dye, hair cut, and pedicure and I felt so much better. 

No matter how much time you spend you are being an awesome mom. It is so so so hard to have a baby in the NICU, work, pump, and having some type of life (really that just consisted of eating...). You do what you feel comfortable with but don't ever feel guilty for taking some time away.

 

((HUGS)) 

kck329

vigurl:

coachg:

Wow. This makes me feel like a terrible mom! DH and I go twice am day for about 1.5 hours/visit.I work out of my home office but don't want to take maternity leave until I can bring im home so I have to work during the day.

 

Dont feel bad.  I also work from home and I am seriously considering going back to work for the same reason you did.  Also I need something to distract me. 

Don't feel bad about going back to work. You are right to do it now so you can be home when your LO comes home. I was just really lucky in that I teach at a university that was VERY flexible with my hours and already had me scheduled for the summer off. 

korpisar

I worked out a system I think works well for me emotionally - I get there at 8:30 am to feed Michael, then stay til his next feeding at 11:30 and leave after around 12:30. I go home to get things done - run errands, clean house, do laundry, etc. I come back at 5 to do his 5:30 feeding and then leave around 7:30 to cook dinner at home. I call the NICU and speak to the nurse before I go to bed and sometimes when I get up to pump at night.

I think we all have different schedules and ways we do things. This is just how it works best for me.

mt1927

it depends on the day. today i went for 2-2.5 hrs and then dh went for the same amount of time after work. some days im there for 5-6 hrs(but i may run an errand or take a break to eat lunch out etc) other days i go for a two shorter trips. when he begins to breastfeed and take bottles i plan to spend more time there. from what i have seen with my NICU room most people do the same thing I do. there is no one there for hours on end, they come and go. the only person i saw there for hours and hours was a breastfeeding mom but her son was only there for a week or so. i cant board at my hospital. im taking the opportunity to get some sleep and get things ready for when he comes home.  im also trying to balance my life too and have some normal parts to it. i get so worn out by being there so having down time at home is important. not sure what the set up is in your NICU but ours is very open so if ds isnt being held or im not waiting for something or he isnt awake i feel a bit weird just sitting there watching him sleep all swaddled for an extended amount of time(when he was unswaddled i could watch him all day with his little twitches. if he is settled, comfortable and sleeping i dont want to bother him. i hate leaving him but him sleeping soundly undisturbed is an important part of his growth. 

i am working from home part time as i have the time, but i havent gotten much work done, lol. in a couple weeks i will be off the work from home and plan on going to work a few hours a week. 

Piper345

I spend about 5-6 hours total each day. We live very close (walking distance) to the hospital. So I go back and forth 4 times per day. We always go early in the AM before DH goes to work. I go back around lunch time and stay for 1.5-2 hours. Then I go back around dinner time and DH meets me after work and we always go back around 9:30-10:00. We also call a few times throughout the day to check in

Since we live in a big city, the NICU is extremely well equiped (one of best in the country) but small. It's very tight quarters in there, and most parents do not stay for very long periods of time. Like mt1927 said, our NICU is very open and not private at all. I also like to leave him be if he is swaddled and sleeping. Sleep=growth! 

 

*Chicken*

I'm there everyday. I was spending 8 hours a day there but I'm just starting to get more comfortable with cutting back on the hours if I need to get something done at home.

Today for example, the husband and I went and bought a new car and opened up accounts for our girls. We didn't get to the hospital until 4 (I'm usually there by 11). I'm not going to lie, I was getting quite anxious as the day went on and the only thing that kept me from yelling 'hurry the F up I have babies to get too' was that I called before we started our errands to check on them. I found out that they were doing well and our favorite nurse was with them.

You'll start to get to a point that you feel okay about not spending all day there. You'll probably also have favorite nurses which will make it easier for you to stay home and get things done.

damabo80

I spend around 4 hours in the early afternoon, come home, make dinner, and then DH and I go back for another 2 hours or so later at night.

pixiern

I try to do around 4-5 hours in the day and I might go at night for an hour or two. I've been trying to wean myself off a little bit because I was getting exhausted.