TV vent
MaygenDL0ve
member
My dad and step mom are driving from CA to get me and the boys (15-hr-drive) and bring us to their place for a few weeks. The boys get to meet everyone, and mama gets some adult interaction, a nice distraction from this 7-month deployment hubs is on.
So yesterday they asked what I need at the house before we get there. I asked them to keep the dogs out of "our" room, and they got offended. Then I said be ready to keep the tv off when the boys are awake and you'd think I was asking them to donate their kidneys to me! I said if they weren't willing to follow mama's rule, mama won't come.. and explained why I don't let them watch TV. First of all, it's not healthy for infants to stare at tv all day (and they would if I let them!) Second, I need tv to keep its wow-factor because the ONLY way I get them both to bed at night (ahem, ALONE EVERY NIGHT) is by putting them in front of Baby Einstein. They are completely mesmerized and silent while I get their rooms ready for bed, and get baths and pjs together. I can bathe and get one baby ready for bed, nurse him and put him down all to the sound of Baby Einstein and silence.
Vent over.
Re: TV vent
No flames from me, I don't know how you do it solo all the time!
I definitely give you props for doing this alone...but I think not allowing anyone to watch TV all day is silly.
If you don't let your kids watch TV during the day, ok. But if you're staying with people (even if they are your parents), I don't think you should dictate what they choose to do.
My girls watch a little TV - not a lot. I certaintly don't have it on all day - and they are still interested when I put their show on. At family functions the TV is almost always on (big sports families) and it's never effected their love for Baby Einstein! I also don't think a couple of weeks where the TV is on in the background is going to make a huge impact on their health.
ITA. I leave the TV on all the time when I'm home alone with the girls. They're more interested in playing with the remotes than watching the TV.
I also think it's unfair to tell your parents, who are letting you stay with them, that they are not allowed to watch TV in their own home. Unless they live in a one-room house, you should be willing to take the kids to a different room rather than tell your parents they can't watch TV in their house.
So I will flame you a little for that one.
Unable to even.
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You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Honestly, I think you're asking a little much, especiallly since they're willing to drive out and get you so you don't have to travel alone.
Unless they're allergic to dogs, I don't see why they would have to completely keep them out of your room there. Obviously they need to be out during naps and at night, but other than that I don't see the problem.
And a few weeks of adult tv shows being on during the day isn't going to ruin their nightly Baby Einsteins. Take them outside to play often, or maybe suggest that they turn it off for an hour or two during the day so it's not so constant, but telling them they have to keep it turned off or you're not coming is ridiculous.
They may be your kids, but you'll be at your parents' house. They get to make the house rules, not you. If you can't live with the house rules, and/or they can't change a few things around (within reason!) then don't go. They're already making some serious sacrifices (I mean, making a 30 HOUR round trip to help you out?), and I'd be a little pissed at your demands too if I were them.
This! I understand the dog thing though. My DS is allergic.
I agree with PPs, you are asking too much. I also have the TV on in the background pretty often, but I don't sit my kids in front of it. They play in another part of the room and may look at it from time to time, but certainly don't "watch it". They are too busy playing.
I bet your routine will be a lot different anyways and maybe you won't even need baby einstein while you are there since you have people to help. Overall, things will be different and you/they will adapt.
I strongly disagree w/ all flames. Bottom line up front, whatever mama-rules I have for my babies should be supported by whoever is going to house them for a few weeks, especially if mama is in the house doing all the night feedings, bed time routines, and nasal suctions before/during EVERY feeding. If I won't get the support I need, I won't go.
This is exactly why I decided to stay in my own home for the 7 months while hubs is gone. Everyone wanted me to live out there, but I'm not the boss out there, and that just doesn't fly for me. Things changed the day I heard those 2 little cries in the OR 7 months ago.......
This trip is for them... I'm only very recently starting to look forward to it as a break. Honestly I've been dreading it, and would prefer not to go at all. As for 30 hours of driving round trip, that's no big deal in this fam.
They're not forcing your children to watch TV, correct?
That's what I don't get. You're dictating how they spend their time when they're not dictating how your kids spend theirs. I think that's very intolerant. I'd encourage you to be more flexable. If you have that kind of attitude about everything, you're going to isolate yourself and I know your husband is deployed and you recently moved. Would you not go to a play date where the Mom had cartoons on?
I already am isolated, and will gladly remain isolated away from my dad's house if they disregard my decisions as a mother. I couple hours w/ the tv on every once in a while is fine, but having it on every waking moment for at least a couple weeks is not fine for me. TV-watching in infants has its studies you're all familiar with.. keeping the TV off while they're babies is my choice and I expect my dad to support me while I'm visiting him. I get to choose their environment, if someone lit up a cigarette around my babies I would leave, or ask them to put it out, or not go to where-ever there are cigarettes. My intolerance for TV-watching isn't a reflection of my attitude about everything, LOL
I'm simply intolerant of things I know can harm my babies.
Advice appreciated
Your experience is admirable. I'd probably let my babies watch TV if they were my 4th and 5th too... but they're my first so "letting go" won't come quick to me, and that's only natural 
They're babies, I have lots of time to grow out of this over-protectiveness.