I have been having terrible pain all day (in my tailbone and pelvic area) and so called the Dr. to run it by a nurse and they want me to come in after work to check it out. I have a feeling my Dr. will do an u/s since they might want to check my ovaries.
DH and I decided that we would wait to have the sex of the baby be a surprise (as we did with DS) but on the day of the u/s I wanted to know. He didn't and got mad that I changed my mind. So if they do an u/s today...I think I am going to ask what it is. But that means I will have to keep it from DH because I don't want to ruin his surprise either but also don't want him to know I know...but can I keep that kind of a secret?
And I am not going to lie...I have a feeling it is a girl because all of my symptoms are different this time but know that is crazy...so it isn't that I will be disappointed if it is a boy but feel like I have to know...I don't know...sorry if this sounds insane to you!
Re: Help! Need advice about what to do! RE: a lie to DH?
This!
I can't really comment on keeping it from DH - because I would never be able to do that!
But, my mom had two very different pregnancies and she has 2 daughters. So different pregnancies doesn't necessarily mean it's the opposite sex as your first . It doesn't mean it isn't either of course
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
AWWW, crap ladies! I WANT TO KNOW! But I don't want to take away DH's excitement either...this is so unfair. Now I am a little mad at him. Why wouldn't he let me have my way? WTH?
And hey, maybe they won't do the u/s today anyway.
Thanks for the feedback!
If you are dying to find out you should at least tell your DH you are going to find out and you won't tell him what it is if he still doesn't want to know. I'd rather face the anger of DH being disappointed I changed my mind than the anger of DH finding out I kept a HUGE (and this is huge imo) secret from him. That's just not how relationships should work in my opinion.
GL deciding what to do!
I would have the dr write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope if they can tell today.
Then I would take that envelope home and tell DH what was inside.
Then I would slowly, over a few days even maybe, try to change his mind into finding out!
You could play it up how fun/cute it would be to find out together! Or make a party of it and open it in front of friends and family.....
But yeah I couldn't lie to my DH....
GL!
It's just as much his baby too, why wouldn't you let him have his way?
Personally I would only find out if we were both on board for finding out. Like the others, I would never be able to keep from spilling the beans and more importantly, I would never lie to DH about it.
SInce this was our last one, I didn't want to find out, but DH isn't much for surprises. He said that he could find out and I could stay in the dark 'til the end if I wanted to. I thought about it, and figured I can't wait that long either! LOL!
So, if you want to find out, go ahead but you better be able to keep your mouth shut from EVERYBODY. AND you have to act surprised once the baby is born cause then he'll know. Or you could tell him that you knew already and he may not care. I think from your DH's view, he wants both of you to be surprised together.
You have to ask yourself, "How would DH react if I told him I already knew?"
FYI....my first two pregnancies were exactly the same both were boys. This one, is completely different and it's another boy. ; )
I couldn't imagine being able to keep that kind of a secret...especially for the rest of my life. I wouldn't dare do it.
I kind of went through the same delimma. DH wanted to be there when we found out the sex. When I went in for an u/s at 13wks, the tech said she could make a guess but only my mom was with me so I told her no b/c I knew that if she was right about the sex, DH wouldn't be able to say later on that he was there when we found out. This could really hurt your DH if you go through with finding out...you'll feel a lot better about yourself if you wait it out according to DH's wishes. You guys should be on the same team with this.
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
I see your point, but it's actually the other way with us. DH wants to know and I want to keep this a surprise, so he said to bring him the sex of the baby in the envelope. I know he will not be able to keep this from me or from his mom and my mom will be asking as well, so I kind of gave up and we are going to find out.
Just talk to your DH and say that you want to do it differently with this one and it is a surprise regardless.
GL!
I wouldn't lie to my DH.... my husband was leaning more towards not finding out and I knew and was always upfront about absolutely wanting to know. Is it possible to just be upfront that you really want to know, and see how he feels about it being a surprise for him in the delivery room?
Apparently sarcasm was lost.
My point was, by stating: "Why wouldn't he let me have my way? WTH?" OP is coming across as a bit selfish and whiny. It's a two-way street: she see's it as wanting her way and her SO apparently wants it his way. Why should her wants outweigh his? They shouldn't.
Thy need to have an adult conversation about who wants what and why, then make a decision that they are both on board with.
I absolutely do NOT agree that he should "shut the F up about it" or think of him as an "a$$hole" if he does not do what the OP wants as you say. Relationships are to be 50/50 .
I also think it is something horrible for OP to even consider finding out and lying to her SO about it. That shows no respect for him at all.
Woah Robotlegs and a few others, chill out! I can just hear some dorkish voice telling me to have an "adult" conversation with my DH....oh Lord.
Some others, thanks for the good advice. Of course I love my husband and know how excited he was because for DS he got to see his sex before me and announce it after the horrible delivery and c/s. And so I went with it again and as the weeks have gone by I have been over curious about the sex of this baby.
So I get home today with my sexy support belt and DH goes, "Did they do the u/s for your ovaries?" and I said that no, the NP said we might do it with the tech when the Dr. is here on Thursday and he said..."Ohhhhh, I was thinking you might have found out if it is a boy or a girl today!" So he knows me pretty well! LOL I asked if he would have been upset if I did and he said, "No. As long as you didn't tell me and if you keep your purchases a secret." Again, knows me well! Haha
He is coming to the Thursday appointment so we will see what happens then. I might be over it by then anyway.
Good Times!
How about doing on of those over the counter test things together (they aren't always right) that way you can sorta "know" but you both still have the big moment in the delivery room?
I just know that I wouldn't be able to keep that a secret from DH. I tell him EVERYTHING, whether he wants to know or not, haha. Of course, he also has to nail my presents to the ceiling or I will open them before xmas, bday, etc., lol I rat on myself constantly. He just laughs and says jokes that he'll never have to worry about me running around behind his back b/c I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut around him, hahahahaha....
Haha, you are the one who implied that someone has to "lose" or give in - I never once said that is in any way shape or form how my relationship is. Let's see, you basically said that if that's what she wants he should ... what was it ... oh yeah "shut the F up about it" or he'd be an a$$hole.
Clearly I stated that DH and I are 50/50 in our relationship as we are equals and treat each other with respect. we actually like to have conversations and discussions. It makes our decisions well informed. You may think that your way is peaceful and is a lot less work, and maybe it is for you. I prefer and equal partnership, not a controlling one.
In your posts you have contradicted yourself numerous times and now seem to be backpedaling. So I am done with this conversation as it is pointless with you.