Lost our baby and Very sad about it and just need to vent — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Lost our baby and Very sad about it and just need to vent

This was our first pregnancy and we lost the baby. We went in for out first ultra sound and they could not find a heart beat. I was 11wks and they only had me measured at 9 wks. I have been heart broken since last monday. I had to go on Friday to get a D&C because my body would not release it on its own. It was hard but I know that it was something that I had to do.

I just have so many worries now, I am scared that I will not be able to get pregant again. I am scared that I will go through this again because I dont think that I can. I just feel like I am an emotional wreck right now. And I am just lost. Crying 

Re: Lost our baby and Very sad about it and just need to vent

  • I'm very, very sorry for your loss.  It is for sure an emotional roller coaster.  Better days are ahead, I promise.  I know how hard it is now though.  I found it very helpful to give and get support on this board, and hopefully you'll feel the same.

     

    Me: 39 DH: 35 - TTC #1 since October 2010
    BFP #1 2-1-11 Missed Miscarriage 3-14-11(9 wks)-D&C
    BFP #2 9-17-11 EDD 5-29-12
    Edward James born 3-14-12 weighing 1lb11oz at 29w1d via c section due to low fluid and growth restriction from crappy placenta.
    My BFP Chart
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers <a href="http://s1088.photobucket.com/albums/i339/sbphotos1/?action=view
  • I'm so very sorry for your loss.  My first appointment was last Tuesday.  I thought I was 9w6d but the baby had no heartbeat and stopped growing at 7w6d.  I had my d&e on Thursday.  This board has been a great source of support.  It is comforting to know there are others going through the same thing and feeling the same way.  I know it's hard but try to be positive and look toward the future.  Good luck.
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  • LaTi07LaTi07 member

    I'm so sorry.

    I know that it's hard to believe, but I promise things will start to perk up. It may not be this week or even next week, but slowly you will find things getting back to "normal" and you will find yourself laughing and smiling more. The first few days/weeks following a loss are god awful. The emotions are so raw and the pain is so incredibly breath taking. We've all been there. I remember being in the ER and the doctor telling me my uterus was indeed empty (I already knew that), but when he said the words oh my gosh it felt like he literally ripped my heart from my chest. I'm not lying when I say I literally had chest pains. I remember sitting there bawling and feeling like my entire world had ended. The first weeks post m/c, I was a wreck. And then slowly I started to move forward.

    I think for me what helped, besides posting here which was my sanity saver, was getting my memorial necklace. I wanted something to touch and to hold, something that was for my baby. It's so hard to lose a child in early pregnancy because you don't have somewhere to express your grief. You don't have a grave to cry at or an urn to hold close to your heart and that is what killed me. It was like my baby never existed and I was expected to just move forward like I had a period. When my parents gave me my necklace that had little footprints on the inside and says "Forever in our hearts" it helped me so much. I wear it every day and I keep my baby close to my heart.

    Take your time to grieve sweetie. Don't let anyone tell you how soon you should be "over" this. Allow yourself to really feel it and slowly it will get better. Until then, we are always here for you because we know what it's like to reach out and feel like no one's there. (hugs)


    My Old Blog | My Chart | TTCAL Shenanigans
    ♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
    ♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
    ♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
    All AL Always Welcome

  • gbaby26gbaby26 member

    I am so sorry for your loss, but I promise you things will get better. My husband and I as soon as we got married couldnt wait to start a family. I got pregnant right away and went for our first doc appt and they couldnt find the heartbeat. I was devastated!!!! I couldnt believe this was happening to me, I am perfectly healthy, young and no issues. 3 months later we tried again, I was pregnant but 2 days after I took a pregnancy test I began bleeding and lost the baby. I was so depressed thinking I will never be able to have kids. I am 26 years old by the way......before I knew it a few months later I was pregnant, scared and to be honest not even excited- I was more terrified something was going to happen again. Well things turned around....I had a beautiful pregnancy, and had the cutest, healthiest baby on May 7- just a few weeks ago!!! So hang in there, I know its tough but you will get through it and will be a stronger person because of your experience!

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