Worst SAHM ever.

mrebecca

Yes, that's me. But I'm fixing it... Er, trying to.

My husband, whom I love dearly, texted me just now asking me to please pray for me because he is overwhelmingly stressed. My poor baby

I know I cause him a lot of stress. I used to never be able to keep things clean. At all. Dishes were always piled sky high; there were always four or five bags of garbage to be taken out; laundry was never done; floors needed swept, mopped, or vacuumed... Total disaster area.
I blame extreme PPD. I really should have seen my doctor about it. But I'm finally starting to get a handle on everything again.
I mean, don't get me wrong... It's not exactly clean in here, but I did do the dishes and take out the garbage this morning..

How does your DH (or DW, if you're a SAHD) feel about cleanliness? How do yall separate chores? And does anybody have any advice on how to keep up with everything??    

JOEBunny

If you have a small baby, it can be very hard to keep things clean.  If you can at all afford it, hire someone.  I have a service 2X a month.  I still have to clean up daily, but it is not overwhelming and we have plenty of time to do the fun parts of SAH without having to block off time to do serious cleaning.

Mrs.Hizzo

The first three month after my oldest was born, I was lucky if I found time to empty the dishwasher once a day. And I didn't have PPD, but a colicky newborn just sucked every last bit of energy out of me. As your baby get older and less needy, you'll start to get a handle on things.

JennaHope

It doesn't all get done. With 2 toddlers that need a lot of attention plus working from home, it's just not possible to have a spotless house. Laundry, dishes are always done. I try to keep the living area reasonably picked up. And DH and I typically pick a room on the weekend and tackle together. He is very understanding and knows that he's part of the problem (taking his clothes off in the living room and leaving them there) so he doesn't really complain. The only time he gets bothered is when he can't find something but again, he knows he's partly to blame. What has also helped is that DH had to take care of the kids for 6wks when DD was 6-13wks old. He was amazed at how little he got done and DD slept most of the day then. So he knows it's more difficult now. See if you can come up with some kind of schedule with DH. Or maybe he takes the baby for a few hours on the weekend so you can tackle a room. Good luck!

mabma80

I do 99% of the cleaning in the house. DH only takes the trash out and cleans the bathrooms.  And I'm still constantly nagging him to do the bathrooms, even though he knows it's HIS job.  But anyway......

DH's Mom had an immaculate house. Never a thing out of its place. Seriously, you could eat off of the floor. My parents house growing up....not so much.  We weren't the tidiest people, but we traveled a lot and would get stuff. We were a shopping family so we'd buy stuff we'd see on vacations or what not.  We weren't pack rats, but we had a lot of stuff.  We'd ALL chip in with keeping the house clean.  Since I don't work, I do most of it in my house.

I ususally get EVERYTHING done on Mondays. Laundry is started first thing in the morning cause that takes literally all day. I'm folding clothes at night after the kids go to bed.  While the laundry is going, I clean the floors (sweep/vacuum), have the kids pick up their toys, dust, wipe surfices, etc.  It really doesn't take that long. I'm usually done before lunch. I get up at 7am, kids and I have brkfst, then 8am I start.  After lunch, we all take baths/showers, the kids go down for naps, and I chill for a couple hours.  Once the boys wake up, most of the laundry is done and I'll fold the first two baskets.  etc.

The rest of the week, it's the occasional vacuuming and stuff.  Pretty much it.  Not bad.  I keep reminding DH that I may stay home all day, but HE still lives here and has to help out a little. I don't feel bad asking him to, cause I'm not a maid. : ) 

ali-1411

DH gets annoyed with me because I'm always cleaning.  When we wake up on a Saturday morning as ask each other, What do you want to do today?  He always answers, "No cleaning!"

He doesn't care about the house being clean.  Well, if its trashed and I'm complaining about being busy and stressed, he gets annoyed    But I keep up on the house fairly well.  Its just an ongoing process.  There's always something to do.  Sometimes I'm okay with letting things be for awhile, and other times I'm running around like a madwoman to get it all done.  

almostjennifer

I remember when DD was born, it would be my entire goal for the day to get the dishwasher unloaded....and it wouldn't get done. 

Luckily, my DH couldn't care less about the house.  In fact, I think he is more comfortable living in a mess.

I discovered Motivatedmoms.com last March, and it has helped me immensely.

 

Andrewsgal

MMy DH has for two things:

1. The kids be well taken care of and safe

2. That he have clean clothes

Other than that our house is never really clean, and there is a lot of piles of stuff. This does not bother DH at all, it if did we probably would nto still be marrried as I am no the most organized person. I will clean when the kids are in preschool so the house has gotten cleaner as the kids get older, but I refuse to clean when the kids are home and I can be spending time with them. I SAH to spend tiem with my kids not clean my house. I actually plan on hiring a cleaning lady when I get back into town.

jlpev

O I hear ya!!!  Well my son is almost 5 months old & just started taking regular naps, he used to only cat nap.  We have 2 dogs that sleep inside (DH lets them in whenever hes home & they are 2 100 lb. labs.  Sooo sometimes keeping the house clean can be HARD.  But I think I'm gonna start cleaning 1 room a day & sweep the living room & kitchen every day (thank u dogs, lol).  Soo I'd clean the bathrooms (2) on 1 day, then the nursery, then our room, etc...  My MIL has a spotless house, even when her boys were little it was that way & soooo DH expects his house to be that way even tho he doesn't help much.  BUT to his defense we have 10 acres & a shop & he does really good job of keeping everything looking really good out there. 

erstwhile+maven

First of all, I think you are being way too hard on yourself.  In my memory, what there is of it, the first 4 months after DS was born were total survival mode and there was a slight improvement each month after that... especially after DS was STTN.  At 15 months, we're doing pretty well

Some ladies on here, including myself, use motivated moms to help stay on top of chores, www.motivatedmoms.com (I think).  After about a month of following the chore lists things really started to look cleaner as well as picked up at our house.  I'll be the first to admit that I don't always get everything done on the list.  DH does the outside stuff and helps with housework but likes to be directed, this list has saved me from feeling like a nag.

Lastly, getting out of the house with and without DS helps me a lot to get motivated for housework and helps me to plan my day!  Me time is important and so is a change of scenery for both you and your LO.  It can be hard to get out the door (with all the baby stuff or leaving baby with DH or sitter)  but it is really worth it.

mrebecca

Yall make me feel better. I used to be a clean freak, like BIG TIME, until like two or three years ago... but that's a post for a different board... (long story... abusive boyfriend, eating disorder. That kind of stuff. Wish it was MUD, but I'm not that lucky) 
Seriously. I used to cry when I cleaned something and it got messed up.

Anyway, please pray for my sweet, sweet hubby. I'd appreciate it much, and I know he will too.

And I'll definitely check out those websites!!! Thanks MUCH!! 

The_Jen626

I have a bi-weekly housekeeper and it's the best thing I've ever done.  I would rather cut $100 from my grocery budget than cut the housekeeper.  DH and I don't ever argue about cleaning, and I like it like that.

I still do the laundry twice a week and multiple loads of dishes everyday, but I don't have to scrub toilets or showers or move furniture to vaccum.

butterfly8199

I am really lucky. DH says my one job is to take care of DD. She is almost 5 mths now. I have a different idea of SAHM. for the first 3 months I tired to do everything and keep the house spotless and failed horribly. Now I try to tackle a job every day and keep the house tidy. I would love to hire someone to come in but it isnt in the budget. I still do 99% of the chores through the week, but DH is getting better at finishing making dinner for me as well as cleaning up after dinner.

I found if I tackled one thing a day, the house stayed much cleaner. I currently  have a little schedule that I do. I also tidy and clean the kitchen daily

Monday - vacumming and tidying rooms
Tues bathrooms
Wedn sweeping and mopping
Thurs dusting and picking up living room
Friday Laundry (that way he has clean cloths for the weekend and upcoming week)

DH takes out the garbage and does the outdoor stuff on teh weekend (Grass, weeding etc)