need advice re: friend with pg loss

pearly1

Just got an email from my best friend is flying in from scandinavia tomorrow. She was hoping to give everyone the happy news that she's 12 weeks pg, but instead she spent today at the hospital for a d&c after an u/s discovered no heartbeat. Her DH is away for work so she has had to go through all this, as well as traveling tomorrow, on her own.

I'm supposed to pick her up from the airport and I want to anticipate her needs as much as possible. What can I do? I know there's probably not much of an answer anyone can give to this, but I just feel so helpless and sad.

 

Seattle_JiLLn

I would say give her a hug, tell her you're sorry, and that you're there to talk if she wants to.  And then don't dwell on it or (obviously) try to say things to make her feel better like "you can always try again" or (the worst) "at least yo uknow you can get pregnant".... Follow her lead in how much she wants to talk.  I'm sorry for your friend... it's so hard.

skenyon

Seattle_JiLLn:

I would say give her a hug, tell her you're sorry, and that you're there to talk if she wants to.  And then don't dwell on it or (obviously) try to say things to make her feel better like "you can always try again" or (the worst) "at least yo uknow you can get pregnant".... Follow her lead in how much she wants to talk.  I'm sorry for your friend... it's so hard.

All of this especially the bold.

mrssmith717

I think Jill's advice is spot on- be a support, be open to talk if necessary, but be able to distract, as well.

How awful for your friend to have to go through it alone.  I'm sure she'll definitely appreciate a hug.

keri1013

I'm so sorry to hear this, what a hard thing for her to go through. I think the advice you have been given is excellent. I would definitely acknowledge it, express your sympathy and let her know you are open to talking as much or as little as she would like.

MrsH_08

Seattle_JiLLn:

I would say give her a hug, tell her you're sorry, and that you're there to talk if she wants to.  And then don't dwell on it or (obviously) try to say things to make her feel better like "you can always try again" or (the worst) "at least yo uknow you can get pregnant".... Follow her lead in how much she wants to talk.  I'm sorry for your friend... it's so hard.

This is good advice, esp the bold.  I am so very sorry for your friend's loss!! :-(

JRS72206

I also think what Jill said is perfect. Hugs to your friend.

Octoberlove

A blog I follow just did a post on this, it might be helpful :  https://www.joyshope.com

 

IdahoGirl

MrsH_08:

Seattle_JiLLn:

I would say give her a hug, tell her you're sorry, and that you're there to talk if she wants to.  And then don't dwell on it or (obviously) try to say things to make her feel better like "you can always try again" or (the worst) "at least yo uknow you can get pregnant".... Follow her lead in how much she wants to talk.  I'm sorry for your friend... it's so hard.

This is good advice, esp the bold.  I am so very sorry for your friend's loss!! :-(

ESPECIALLY the bolded part.  That was the worst part after my miscarriage...people saying things like that.  I actually had one aunt tell me that in other countries people don't have  baby showers because miscarriage is so common and it's not really a baby until it's born.  That crushed me.