if one is ahead on talking do you think the other gets self conscious?

groovygrl

are they capable of that at this age? we feel so bad for DS b/c DD talks so much & repeats everything & knows tons of words and he is slow coming on the talking...we can tell he is getting frustrated/whiny/etc when he can't communicate and we try really hard to positively reinforce every time he says something or tries to say something or clearly understands words (pointing at pictures etc), but DD says so many things & knows most of her letters & multiple colors & all that so it is like she is always getting things and we get so nervous that he might start to be more frustrated b/c of that.

how do you deal with this? 

UsedToBeGoldie

all children who are later talkers get frustrated - i really don't think it has anything to do with comparing himself to his twin.

Grayson is delayed in speech - he's in speech therapy now (and doing great).... he has frustrations b/c he can't tell us what he wants/ needs- but it has nothing to do with Gibby talking more - it's just him being PO'd that he can't say what he wants to say and we don't understand him.... i have seen this with my niece who was also delayed (and not a twin), etc.... very common.

that is part of why i think 12-20mo is such a tough age... b/c they often can not express themselves as well as they want - but usually understand everything- so it's frustrating for them.  If you think he doesn't understand- then i'd have him evaluated from EI.  Grayson had a receptive and expressive delay of 25% each - likely due in large to the hearing loss he suffered from all the ear infections. Since he got tubes he's improved a TON.

groovygrl

Hey thanks Goldie! I guess I"m not too worried b/c I do think he understands a lot but I just feel so bad that he gets so frustrated & if we're reading or something w/ both of them, she just jumps in and says everything first all the time and I get concerned that he will hold back b/c he knows she'll say the word or whatever. I figure I'll see how he is doing at the 2 yr appt and then talk to pedi about it if he still hasn't gained more words. It is weird though, at daycare they said that he 'talks' more than her- mostly the gibberish type of animated toddler talk, but still, it is odd b/c at home she talks constantly in real words, points out everything, repeats everything, etc. 

jenkm

I think we, as a generation, have a tendency to impose adult feelings on babies.  Maybe it's information overload or too much Dr. Phil.  But no, I don't think that our babies are "self conscious".  I agree with the PP that babies who take longer to talk probably feel more frustration with communication issues, but I don't think you can possibly take it to the level of embarrassment. 

My son Andrew has been babbling since about 9 months.  Kevin is just starting with consonants now at 14 months.  It's all good, they're different.  Andrew walks and talks (well, says words) but Kevin understands puzzles and is physically stronger, and has less emotional meltdowns.

It all evens out in the end, don't stress out. 

boshi799

Groovy - I have the exact same concerns and the same issues with DD and DS - DD is the one ahead as well. I just worry about confidence. I have learned that if I am reading a book to both of them and asking them to point things out or name the color I don't just ask both of them (because my know it all daughter will always be the one to answer!!). I assign "turns" and make sure that I ask my son things that he likely knows to build his confidence. It is hard and developmentally sounds right where yours are. Oh, I have my son in speech therapy which they don't think he really needs but I am crazy. He is just behind his sister.

 BY THE WAY - you went to PSU???? I saw this a few weeks ago. I knew I liked you. What year did you graduate? Me in 2001.

ougrad1

I'm going to piggy back off Goldie.  Emerson had maybe five words when she turned two.  I knew something was off by the time she was 18 months but, no one would evaluate her until she was two.  The day after she turned two I had her evaluated and her receptive language was way above average but, she just couldn't get her words out.  As Goldie mentioned, I also have to blame it on the ear infections and her tubes (she got them at 10 months).  

With speech therapy she has come a long way in the last year.  She's doing awesome.   We are now working on articulation but, she won't stop talking at this point!  

As Goldie said, if you have a concern find someone to evaluate him and go from there.  It's certainly not the end of the world.  You're a good mom for catching it so quickly if there is, indeed, an issue.

 

 

groovygrl

Thanks all...I know, we try our best not to compare him & I think she is ahead in some ways and he is behind the 'average' but I'm not at the point where I think it is an issue, I worry like pp said about confidence & feeling like his sister is always butting in & answering or whatever. I need to be more strict about turns- I try but she usually jumps in anyway...He did ALL the physical stuff way before her & I try to remind MH of that b/c he seems more worried about him than I am.

He probably has 30 words or so. He just doesn't use them frequently. He even started answering 'I do' sometimes when we ask certain things (like who wants to go outside?) so I know I shouldn't worry but it's hard to see him so frustrated & it is making him really whiny & tantrum-y lately.

jenn_darrin1515

My Ava is behind Milina a bit in speech...we had her evaluated by EI around 21 months and she has been doing great with speech therapy (she was also getting really whiny and tantrum-y b/c she couldn't get the words out for what she wanted)  we are still working on "requesting"...but she has started using 2-word phrases and has a ton of words now...EI also suggested we bring back some signs and she uses "more" and her own version of "please" which helps us understand what she wants...