Is there something wrong with me? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Is there something wrong with me?

I had my d & c a week ago yesterday. I was 14w2d but the baby's heart had stop beating at 8w2d. I cried for 3days straight after the d&c. But now I just want to get pregnant again as soon as possible. I am so ready to be a mother and it already took us a year to get pregnant with this baby. I really want to be pregnant again. I didnt get to feel the baby move and I only had one ultrasound which was at 8weeks I just dont feel like I really got attached to that particular baby. This must sound just aweful. I just keep telling myself that is I had been able to carry the baby to term it probably would have suffered with so many health problems and i cant imagine my child having to suffer. Now I have all these baby clothes and blankets etc sitting in my dining room, and I just want to get pregnant again so I have a baby to use them.

I'm sorry if this last part offends anyone but I really need to get this out.

 

I want to get pregnant and forget this ever happened.

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Re: Is there something wrong with me?

  • I totally know what you're going through.  I had a d & c at 12 weeks but the baby stopped growing around 8 weeks.  I didn't think I wanted to try again for at least six months so I could emotionally recover.  I even went on the pill 4 weeks after the surgery.  Turns out I had gotten pregnant again just two weeks after the d & c and didn't know it.  Luckily this has been a sticky baby and I'm so glad I didn't end up waiting the 6 months b/c you never know which baby will be a healthy, take home baby.  Your emotions are probably just all over the place right now and your hormones haven't had a chance to completely level off.  I've heard it's really easy to get pregnant right after the surgery so if that's what you're feeling you want, go for it and good luck :)  You've been through so much, you're entitled to feel whatever the heck you want to feel and don't appologize for it.
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  • MrsJCMrsJC member
    With my first pregnancy, the baby died at about 11 weeks, and I had a D&C at 12w4d. Even though I was incredibly attached to that baby and completely devastated when I lost it, I still felt this desperate to get pregnant again right away. I got pregnant about a month after my D&C, but just recently found out I am losing this second baby as well. I don't feel as devastated or desperate over this second loss, but I completely understand your feeling of wanting to get pregnant again right away.
    BFP #1 1/27/11, EDD 10/7/11, D&C 3/29/11 @ 12w4d
    BFP #2 5/19/11, EDD 1/20/12, Natural miscarriage 6/2/11 @ 6w6d
    Dx 2 copies of MTHFR reductase DNA mutation (C677T & A1298C) June 2011
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  • I think that's completely understandable and a normal, healthy way to look at it.  In fact, I am finding myself thinking the same things about the babies we're losing probably not being healthy.  It certainly makes me feel better.  Just put the baby stuff away (or give it away), and try not to buy any next time until you've had your 12/13-week appt.  I know how it feels for it to take so long to achieve something and then have it taken away from you, but I promise things turn out the way they should.  You will be pregnant again soon and have a baby, then a crazy toddler like the one running around my living room at 7am.  Best of luck to you hun and hang in there.
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  • There is nothing wrong with you!  I am feeling similar.  I was attached to the baby, but I think I was more attached to the idea of being pregnant.  Good luck to you.  Know that you are not alone in your feelings.
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  • BabyVDMBabyVDM member

    There is nothing wrong with you.  Have a look at the TTC after a Loss board and you'll see that you are definitely not alone.  

    I am going through the same thing right now.   We were supposed to be 8 weeks but the pregnancy never moved beyond about 6 weeks and there was no heart beat. 

    It was a missed miscarriage and I have had to wait for weeks for my body to respond, but emotionally I have already processed the loss. I tried to explain to the nurses at the clinic on Friday that I had accepted the situation and that I had grieved but that I was ready to move forward and had a strong desire to do so.  It was almost as though it was difficult for them to understand.

    I feel that this process is a very personal thing and we all of us have a right to our emotions what ever they may be.

    So, I think I may have MC'd naturally on Saturday and as soon as this is confirmed by the nurses tomorrow I'll be moving over to the TTC after a loss as soon as I can.

    See you there

    P

     

     

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  • There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone moves through this process at a different pace - there is no right or wrong :)

    I too, was anxious to move forward as age and fertility are issues for us. As soon as I knew for certain that our pregnancy was not viable (suspected from the previous weeks ultrasound with the RE) I was ready to get the ball rolling. Manual uterine aspiration was scheduled for the following day.

    It wasn't easy and I felt so terrible and sad for a while. The next pregnancy will be different, I suspect. I read one person on this board describe it as your "innocence is lost".  I won't skip blissfully through pregnancy #3 as I did through pregnancy #1. It would be a hard thing to forget and I wouldn't want to: it is shaping me into a better person in many ways.

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