Jealousy...need advice

julieb00lie

I'm sure this has been posted a million times, but I don't frequent this board at all.

DS will be born when DD is turning 2.  I know there are going to be times where DD gets jealous or insecure when she sees me holding the baby so much, but it really hit home the other day.

We were at MIL's house with BIL an SIL and their 4 mo old.  My DD ADORES my MIL (her grammie), and she was so sad to see her holding the 4 mo old!  She kept whining for her to pick her up...poor thing couldn't understand.

Anyways, we have DS's crib in our room already (same thing we did with DD until she was a few months old) and DD has been checking it out.  How is she going to feel when she sees the baby sleeping in the room with us, but not her?

Is there a book or something I can read that will help me learn how handle this well?  I don't want any negative feelings to come about when the baby gets here and I don't want DD to feel neglected.  I feel like I need some tips.

 

roundtheworldgirl

There probably will be some jealousy at first.  I think it's normal. And it will be hard, but your older child will adjust.  DD1 definitely wanted to be held a lot more after DD2 was born.  She still does, actually. 

I felt bad about the sleeping thing, too, but I think I'm the only one who did.  DD2 slept in our room until she was 4.5 months old.  DD1 knew DD2 slept with us, but she never seemed to want to sleep with us.  She went down fine in her crib.

I'd say it took her about a month to adjust.  We had some crankiness in the beginning, but she really loves her sister now.  It won't be as bad as you think, really.

kcisthebombdotcom

It might not be as bad as you think. DS had no jealousy at all when we brought DD home.  However, if DH holds another baby besides DD, DS freaks out and throws a tantrum. Your DD will adjust really quickly I'm sure.

sweetpea2003

Try not to worry.  Kids are very resilient and adjust quickly.  You will likely have a few rough weeks and then after that there will be moments.  But one thing is for sure, the good interactions will outweigh the bad very quickly.  My DD was a little jealous early on, but now she wants to be with her brother all the time. 

We have a cute book called "My Brother and I" https://www.amazon.com/Brother-P-K-Hallinan-Board-Books/dp/0824954556/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1306516024&sr=1-2  It is about a little girl and her brother.  My DD LOVES this book and loves reading it with her brother next to her.  She always gives him a kiss at the end.  I don't know if you are having a boy or a girl, but if you are having a boy I would highly recommend it .

CRaymond1976

We let our DD "help" out a lot whether if it is for the baby or not!  She is so proud to be a helper.  We also remind her how she is such a good big sister and how much she loves her brother.  We take opportunities to let her show her brother affection and don't worry too much if she is a little too affectionate.  We want her to love her brother.  DS loves his sister very much too and looks up to her like she is the best thing!  We don't get upset when DD occasionally resorts to "baby" things, ie. talking baby talk, wanting a paci (even though she nor brother every wanted one), etc., but instead realize that she's needing a bit more attention.  We also don't overindulge DD.  I think that kids can pick up on that and that can send the wrong message.