Two Under 2

Please give me a nice dose of reality! :P

DH and I wanted to wait until DS was at least 1-1 1/2 years old before we started TTC again, but we also want a large family (6 or so kids) so I know our kids will probably end up somewhat close together.  Well, DS is turning 5 months tomorrow and I've had the itch for baby #2 starting this week.  I seriously don't know why I'm even considering this because the majority of the time I feel like I can't even handle DS and taking care of the house and DH without turning into a crazy woman.  I'm also afraid of having DS wean early if I get pregnant again because I wanted to BF him until he turned 1 but my OB said he might self-wean because my milk will change once I'm pregnant.

So, please give me a dose of reality about this 2 under 2 thing :P 

-What made you decided to have 2u2 (if it was planned) and how hard has it been?

-How did it work out if you BF baby #1 while pregnant with baby #2?

Thanks, Ladies! :)

Re: Please give me a nice dose of reality! :P

  • 1) Not planned.

    2) My supply tanked when I was about 15 weeks pg and DD1 was 7 months old :(

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  • 1) we wanted a big family as well, and DH and his siblings were all about 1 1/2 years apart and the kids were very close with each other (I know that doesn't mean my kids will be).  I wouldn't say it's "hard" for me and DH, but we are very BUSY.  Our days are filled up, but we don't mind.  I love going to soccer practice, and gymnastics etc.  we still get to see our friends, just not every weekend.

    2) My kids all weaned themselves around 9-10 months.  They were only nursing about 3 times per day and sleeping 10-12 hours at night so my supply went down.  If I woke up in the middle of the night to pump I could have kept it going longer, but I needed my sleep too!

     Good Luck with your decision!

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  • My kids are 25 months apart...you have good days and bad days.  Both planned pregnancies.  We wouldn't plan things that way again.  It has been difficult for us going from 1-2 kids.  If we have #3, it won't be for a few years. 
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  • Although my daughter is not here yet. I can tell you that being pg with an infant is HARD. "ot only is it hard to carry around a 25 lb., not quite yet walking on his own baby paired with a big pregnancy belly.

    But it is also very hard on the body! Despite taking vitamins and having great prenatal care, my body feels worn out and just depleted! I dont know how else to put it. It is different than the pg exhaustion I felt with LO#1.

    Although I do feel blesses. I really do. If I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I would wait until the first baby was about a year before getting pregnant again. 

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  • Being pregnant with a baby/toddler is also one thing that worries me.  While pregnant with DS I went into preterm labor at 26 weeks and was on bed rest for the next 3 months until the end of my pregnancy.  I can't imagine what I would do if that happened again and I had DS to take care of.  I asked my OB about TTC again so soon but she didn't seem concerned at all.  Hmmm...

     Thanks, ladies, for all your input :)

  • Ours was unplanned and although we are more than thrilled, I have to agree with the previous posters about the pregnancy being MUCH harder.  I dont know if it was the lack of time between pregnancies or if it's because I now have an infant to care for as well, but this pregnancy thus far has been extremly difficult.  I have been MUCH sicker and MUCH more tired.  And DH ends up doing 90% of everything and I end up feeling guilty for putting that on him and for the decrease in time/attention I can give my daughter.  We plan to wait a few years before any more children.  Whatever you decide, I would discuss with your DH and maybe think about it for more than a week.  Good luck!
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  • BFab11BFab11 member
    Ours was planned, I got the itch around 5 months too. I had my first period when DS was 10 months and got pg the next cycle. We made it to a year with BFing, and he still relies on it for comfort and sleep. I'm just seeing how everything goes and playing it by ear.
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  • I think I'm probably in the minority here, but I think having them super close in ways is easier than the 2-3 year age gap. I also might be delusional since I have 2 relatively easy children. :)  Your experience with 2u2 (or a 3 year gap, or any other age gap) will depend on the temperaement of the children involved and you just can't predict that.

    I thought pregnancy was easier with #2 than with #1. However, when I was pregnant with #1, I was commuting 45 minutes each way a day and working 9+ hours. I came home beat. With #2, I was only working part time, and I was napping when the baby napped (which was still quite a bit). I think pregnancy with a child that was 1+ would have been much tougher than with an infant. I have a 17 month old now, and he is high energy and on the go all the time. I think if I were pregnant now, it would have been much more difficult physically than when he was younger, I didnt have to chase him and I could rest a lot when he slept a lot. Plus, DS is so much more aware now. When he was 12.5 months old and I brought a baby home, he was blissfully unaware of the big change in his life. He literally had no reaction or jealousy at all. I think if he was still an only child and we brought a baby home now (or in the next few months) it would have been a tougher adjustment for him.

    I think life will be much tougher when I have 2 toddlers, but like having an infant and a toddler, you find tricks to make your life easier. We had planned for an 18 month gap, but I'm glad #2 came a little earlier than expected. I don't find 2u2 to be hard at all (YET!) lol. It has hard moments, but overall I think the good times far outweigh the tough ones. I also think that having 2u2 would be helpful if you have a large family, as those 2 will have each other to play with while you could rest during your pregnancy. I think it's tougher in the beginning, but easier as they are older as they have a built in playmate and you don't have to provide as much entertainment.

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  • If you wail til he's a year, you could very well still have 2u2. I got pregnant when DS1 was 15 months and I can't imagine having done it any sooner. It was very difficult, before and after DS2 was born.
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  • I agree with KC. I have a friend whose kids are 13 months apart and the transition was easier for her bc her older child was unaware of anything going on at 1 year. BUT...

    I have to say, OP--if you BF it would definitely be hard to nurse til a year if you got pregnant right now since your next baby would be born when your older is about 15 months. So to nurse to a year would mean to nurse into your 3rd tri. I nursed DS while pg with DD.  my kids are 18m apart. He was 13 months when we stopped and I was 18 wks pg. I had horrible m/s that lasted 16 wks. I had to take zofran, and felt guilty that I was nursing and on it. I had a hard time eating/drinking enough to maintain my weigh etcc, and nursing took a lot more out of me. but I was happy to continue bc it was my normal in a time of feeling crappy.

    some pros?- when I was sick, DS was not walking yet, so that was nice. He was napping two naps until a year old, so I got to sleep too. He was happy and content and wasnt too clingy yet. When he started walking he was 12.5 months and I was almost feeling better....and I wasnt huge by the time he was toddling and falling a lot. So by the time I WAS huge, he was steady on his feet and easier to hold hands and have him walk short distances with me. 

    I love this age gap. I dont think I would want them closer for BFing purposes (nursing til a year or more in important to me). You also never know if your milk will dry up...I was glad mine didnt, but I took that chance. (we planned this but thought it would be a couple months until I got pg).

    We want #3, but since I have two older ones, we are waiting until DD is 15 months or so to try to have another. I would like DD and baby3 to be 2 or more years apart for my sanity (DH is gone a lot for work).

    Good luck! Take some time to really sit on it before making a decision, sometimes baby fever comes and goes with different stages. ;) 

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  • Thanks, everybody, for the advice/input! :)  I think I will try to hold off the itch until October.  DS will be 10 months by then and even if I do get pregnant right away I should still (hopefully) be able to nurse for another 2 months until he is 1 year old. 

    I'm pretty certain I'm okay with having 2 under 2,  just probably not having them as close as I would if I got pregnant right now.  Funny thing about everybody telling me to talk with DH about it though: DH wants another baby right NOW, lol!  He says DS is growing up too fast and he wants another newborn in the house right away.  I would have never expected that from him, but I'm glad he's open to having them close together.

     Thanks, again, for all the input on having 2 under 2 and I wish you ladies the best with you're wonderful little ones!  Hopefully I'll be joining you all this fall ;)

  • Wow I was about to post this question, but googled it instead & found this! Our LOs are the same age & we pretty much have the same dilemma & timeline lol. I keep wondering if I can pump like crazy the last month or so & build a freezer stash to get us from Sept/Oct to Jan (1 year). That's just in case my milk dries up asap though. Anyway, thanks for asking this!!
    DS1- Jan 2011
    DS2- Sept 2012
    M/C- Sept 2011

    2u2!
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