School-Aged Children

Auntie being a bad influence....

My son is 5, almost 6, and I'm trying my best to raise him right with good values and morals. Well today my sister slips him a sucker (after I told him he couldn't have one because of his behavior) and told him not to tell me! So we get home and he starts crying so hard and I finally got it out of him that his titi gave him a sucker and told him not to tell me. He was soooooo upset because he knew it was a bad thing and he was torn between telling me and not. Which made me even more upset, so I called my sister and she hung up on me!  I can't keep the two of them separated because my mom is my daycare and my sister lives with her, but I think she was just plain wrong, and I can't even talk to her about it because she hangs up on me.
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Re: Auntie being a bad influence....

  • Candy isn't the issue, its telling him not to tell me about the candy. He knows that lying is wrong, and he was torn between telling me about the sucker and doing what she said which was don't tell me. My mom watches my son for next to nothing and lives on the next street from us.
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  • Well, it sounds like you're doing a good job b/c he told you the truth in the end and was upset about what happened.  I would focus on that and probably let your sister know that her actions led to your DS being upset ... which is probably the complete opposite of her intentions.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • I think this is a good lesson for you to teach your son that in life there are going to be people who challenge him to do the wrong thing and if he knows it's wrong then he needs to always rise above it and do the right thing, like he did by telling you. (of course, phrase this so it's age appropriate for him to understand).  You don't need to find new daycare or keep him from your sister.  That would be overreacting.

  • Thanks ladies. I did talk with my sister eventually and pointed out exactly where things went wrong, and my son....I had a talk with him, and eventually I was going to let him have the sucker....and then I found the dog with a sucker stick in her mouth. SOOOO yeah that's a whole nother story.
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  • ppantsppants member
    I know it's about a sucker, but more importantly he was asked to keep something from you.  From an adult he knows and loves.  We don't keep secrets at our house, we have surprises because a surprise is something the person will find out about.  Asking a child to keep a secret is a HUGE NO NO IMO and one of the ways people manipulate kids.
    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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