Surprise baby shower?

cimontijo

I am almost 100% sure that my mom and mother in law are planning a surprise baby shower for me which is super sweet of them but I just have one little problem with that. I pictured myself in a very pretty dress and my hair done for my baby shower, in fact i've been looking at dresses for a while but I haven't bought one because I don't know how much I will grow by the time my shower comes around and I just want to be ready for the special day. Am I being selfish?  Will it be bad manners to ask them to tell me the date?

abell77

Yes, it wouldn't be right for you to ask them to tell you the date if they are planning it to be a surprise.  Since you know it's probably happening, you might have some advance notice since they will have to invite you to some fake occasion to get you to show up at the right place at the right time. I would just try to look my best when I have the best guess it could be taking place.

rhubarb123

Hopefully your DH will find out the date and tell you.  I would torture my DH if he didn't tell me and I looked all frumpy when it could have been avoided.  I guess I just don't "get" surprise showers because the MTB always know there is one (and sometimes even the date).  Silly IMO.

weddingbells2010

You're going to get mixed responses to this question.

Personally, this is exactly what I did for my bridal shower and for my pending baby shower.  I did not bring up the subject presuming to be getting one, but once my mother and MIL made it clear they were going to host and started asking for a guest list, I told them (for some of the same reasons) how much more enjoyable it would be for me if I could be a little more prepared.  They also know me very well and know that I don't like surprises.  So I think if it's done properly and without assuming you're getting a shower, it's not in poor taste at all.

My mom and MIL told me the date so I can get my hair and nails done and plan on a nice outfit.  The rest is a surprise.  Fair compromise in my book!

LaComtesse

I think this is easily solved. You know how we pack "hospital bags" for when the baby comes? Pack a "shower bag" and tell your husband "If you are taking me to my surprise shower, you must bring this bag, because I will feel uncomfortable if I don't have a nice dress and my make-up done" or whatever. That way, it will remain a surprise, but you'll be prepared.

Corts

This is exactly why I think surprise showers are ridiculous. I have seen way too many women look a mess when rolling into their own surprise showers. I guess if I was 8 months pregnant and my best friend told me she was having a big personal problem and to meet her for lunch somewhere (last minute, of course), the last think I would be worried about are clothes or hair.

I am on a country-wide mission to legally ban surprise showers

Corts

LaComtesse:

I think this is easily solved. You know how we pack "hospital bags" for when the baby comes? Pack a "shower bag" and tell your husband "If you are taking me to my surprise shower, you must bring this bag, because I will feel uncomfortable if I don't have a nice dress and my make-up done" or whatever. That way, it will remain a surprise, but you'll be prepared.

Yes because every hormonal pregnant woman should be driving around with an emergency stash of fancy clothes & makeup "just in case".

cimontijo

I don't like the idea of it being a surprise either but I don't want to hurt their feelings, especially my mother in law's because this is her first and probably only grandchild (my hubby is a single child). I am going to go with getting my DH to blurt out the date, they won't have to know and i can wear that nice dress i've been looking at.

weddingbells2010

cimontijo:

I don't like the idea of it being a surprise either but I don't want to hurt their feelings, especially my mother in law's because this is her first and probably only grandchild (my hubby is a single child). I am going to go with getting my DH to blurt out the date, they won't have to know and i can wear that nice dress i've been looking at.

They (your mom and MIL) are going to find out that you knew whether it's before or after (cmon, showing up with hair and makeup perfectly done in a brand new maternity dress you just HAPPENED to buy?) so I still vote for waiting for THEM to open the conversation by asking you about guestlists or registry details and then politely letting them know how you feel about surprises and why.  Try the compromise like I did! I'm telling you, it worked... I offered to "be okay" with surprises at the shower if the date itself would not be a surprise so I could feel good about myself arriving well put-together. 

Sacagawea

Corts:

This is exactly why I think surprise showers are ridiculous. I have seen way too many women look a mess when rolling into their own surprise showers. I guess if I was 8 months pregnant and my best friend told me she was having a big personal problem and to meet her for lunch somewhere (last minute, of course), the last think I would be worried about are clothes or hair.

I am on a country-wide mission to legally ban surprise showers

 I'm going to have to join you on that one! Mine is also a "surprise", but I got DH to tell me after a few beers. Just try to get someone to tell you, not the people hosting, and then act surprised!

 

soontobemrsdavis

Do you go out every weekend and dress up?  I would pay attention to clues.  If all of a sudden your husband or friends want to take you to a nice lunch, then get dolled up for it.

My shower is a surprise and it really isn't that big of a deal.  Honestly if I am going out anywhere I don't tend to just roll out of bed though, I'm not a makeup girl but I always look presentable IMO, so if by chance I don't get to have my pretty summer dress on, I am sure I will survive. 

If you really are concerned though, the safest thing would be to pack your dress with you when you go out on the weekend and just have your makeup already done(if you wear makeup)

Bathlove

LaComtesse:

I think this is easily solved. You know how we pack "hospital bags" for when the baby comes? Pack a "shower bag" and tell your husband "If you are taking me to my surprise shower, you must bring this bag, because I will feel uncomfortable if I don't have a nice dress and my make-up done" or whatever. That way, it will remain a surprise, but you'll be prepared.

This sounds like a great idea!

amdraza

You could also make your wishes of not having it be a suprise known to your DH. That way if your MIL brings it up to your DH, he could hint that you have been talking about picking out a nice dress for the ocasion, and that you may prefer to know the date.