Couple keeps child's gender secret

cocojack10

Really?  So strange! 

https://moms.today.com/_news/2011/05/25/6715267-he-she-or-it-family-keeps-babys-gender-a-secret?GT1=43001

 

MrsJOSEnADRI

When I read the title, I thought they meant while she was pregnant which I didn't think was a big deal.  But, oh boy..... to each their own I guess. 

MelanieJH1016

My opinion on this is that those parents are whack and it's not cool what they are doing to their children. We all need guidance in life. PARENT your children, idiots!!! They can't figure everything out for themselves!!!

soontobemrs.rjd

i think that there area lot of  things to be celebrated, in being male and female, and that if we begin to blur the lines between the two, we are down playing the beautiful apects that diversity brings to our world.  i think that these parents are trying to do something that they feel, will be better for their children.  i dont think that there is any long term damage that can be done to these kids.  i just think its a little bit screwy

britishbride05

meh, i have no problem with it.  i think it's a great idea in theory- why dress girls in pink and boys in blue?  society pressures you to make decisions for your children normally- I think on one hand, they're KIDS, they need to be told what to do, what to wear, etc... but I let Abby dress herself and pick out clothes, they sometimes don't match, it's ok.  They're not dressing the little girl like a boy or vice versa, they're just raising the kid as a "human."  What are the implications later in life when it comes to sexuality?  Who knows.. who cares?  Gender is something that isn't learned- that's why there are so many transgendered individuals who feel like the sex is not aligned with their gender.  So letting gender develop on their own, based on their likes?  Sure, I think it's a great idea.  Would I stop dressing the girls in cute dresses and bows?  Nope, but I like little gender stereotypes here and there  ballet, here we come lol

MellyMelB

I think its one thing for your child to buck at gender stereotypes and then for parents to let them be their own person. I think this couple is just bizarre and not preparing their children for the world they will eventually be living in. I am not sure they are making the best decision for that child, or their other children, in the long run.

It can be argued that gender stereotypes are born of a gender's natural desire to come out on its own. I remember watching a special on HBO about a pair of twins who were born. One of them was a boy whose penis was accidentily cut off during his circumsicion. The doctor's recommended to the parents that they "fix" him and raise him as a girl. Well, even though he had all the girl PARTS growing up he KNEW he wasn't a girl and bucked against it and wanted play with boys, dress like boys, etc. At that point, the parents had to tell him. He is now living life as a man. Surgery or no, dressing him in dresses or not, the body knows. The mind knows.

I believe its a parents responsibility to guide their kids into what roles the parents think the kids should be taking. Whether this is gender related or in school or how they should treat their friends. Even in why one should enjoy being a boy or a girl. Once a kid's personality starts emerging and they start showing dislikes or likes then the parents themselves should support their child. But this idea of starting fresh and letting the child decide each morning what they should be that day. Really? That is not how real life works. There is a reason there are girls, boys...and anything in between. Usually I am more of a to each their own kind of person but I am getting a little annoyed lately which double standards like and parents who are supposedly making the decision for their child to be sexless and dressing it up as if they are letting their child decide when they really aren't.

wrenr

Although I wouldn't do it myself, I am interested to see how it turns out. There is a lot of research on how gender roles affect people's mental abilities. For instance, the stereotype is that men are better at math and women at emotions. There are theories that explain this as being a result of how children are treated based on their sex. Young boys tend to be allowed to wander more, to be rough, to experiment with spatial sense by playing sports and games that are physical. This in turn causes their brains to develop the spatial sections. They can calculate better, understand physical distance, etc. Girls on the other hand are taught to play gently, to focus on emotions and therefore women tend to be better at dealing with feelings. What happens if this child is not led in either direction? You would be able to see if his/her abilities are innate or learned. I really find it interesting, but I couldn't do it myself.

On a less grand scale though, I can't say anything bad about them because I am easily upset when people comment that my daughter should play with dolls instead of cars. Her favorite movie has been Cars since she was 2 years old. She loves to pretend that she's Lightning McQueen and that we're all the characters in the movie. She likes to wear LMcQ t-shirts and she loves her LMcQ power wheels. What kind of mother would I be if I told her that she couldn't do any of those things because she's a girl. I think that would be very stifling. She still likes to wear dresses (actually she wants to wear them even to the playground when I think they'd be uncomfortable) but she also likes a lot of toys that are considered to be for boys (like Thomas the train, Superman, Spiderman, Batman). I don't think there's any reason to stop her from playing with whatever she likes, but I have had several people tell me otherwise and that really annoys me.