Newbie needs talking down off a ledge please (long)

jmckeag

Hi All!

I am really doing everything I can not to stress every minute of this pregnancy, but my body is making it so darn difficult!  I know everyone says cramping is normal as long as it isn't severe or accompanied by bleeding, but I just can't help but worry when I have cramps.  Pretty much every morning for the last week I wake up with light to moderate period like cramps.  As soon as I am up and about they pretty much go away.  Definitely not severe cramping and no blood -- yet.  Anyone experience morning only cramps and still make it through their first trimester?  I went to the doctor on Tuesday morning after my worry that my cervix was open.  She confirmed my cervix "looks like a pregnant cervix" and my beta came back at 2418, up from 171 just 4 days prior -- so that's good.  Also, I have been seeing an acupuncturist off and on during my infertility journey, and at one point she told me how a pregnant woman's pulse should feel.  I think mine felt that way for the first week of this pregnancy, but now I don't think it feels that way.  I don't know, maybe I am just paranoid?  I know I am not an expert at pulse readings, but it definitely doesn't feel as strong as it did before.  Add all this to the fact I have virtually no m/s or pregnancy symptoms with the exception of exhaustion, some VERY light and intermittent nausea, and sporadic breast tenderness, and I can't stop worrying!!!!  My last m/c I started very light spotting at 5w6d, which is the day I have my first sono scheduled this pregnancy (not until next Thursday).  Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. TIA.

martinimomma

I am sorry that you are so stressed -- it sounds like you are a typical PgALer to me, so take heart that you are not alone.

The concerns you describe are the same I had very early -- cramping and feeling bloated like AF was about to arrive, exhaustion, intermittent boob pain, occasional evening nausea, headaches.  It continued that way for a few weeks.  I was convinced that despite good betas I was going to start bleeding at any minute and was in the bathroom constantly looking for blood (and I did have some spotting around 8 weeks, which was when I miscarried the prior pregnancy, so I was a wreck at that point). 

The ladies on this Board talked me off the ledge, reminded me to breathe, and to say the PgAL mantra -- "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby" to help focus and center myself.  It worked to a degree -- though I am still an anxious spaz at 20 weeks tomorrow -- and I make the same suggestions to you. 

Breathe. 

Say the mantra. 

Take it one day at a time. 

We are here for support.  ((Hugs))

jmckeag

sandyd:

I am sorry that you are so stressed -- it sounds like you are a typical PgALer to me, so take heart that you are not alone.

The concerns you describe are the same I had very early -- cramping and feeling bloated like AF was about to arrive, exhaustion, intermittent boob pain, occasional evening nausea, headaches.  It continued that way for a few weeks.  I was convinced that despite good betas I was going to start bleeding at any minute and was in the bathroom constantly looking for blood (and I did have some spotting around 8 weeks, which was when I miscarried the prior pregnancy, so I was a wreck at that point). 

The ladies on this Board talked me off the ledge, reminded me to breathe, and to say the PgAL mantra -- "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby" to help focus and center myself.  It worked to a degree -- though I am still an anxious spaz at 20 weeks tomorrow -- and I make the same suggestions to you. 

Breathe. 

Say the mantra. 

Take it one day at a time. 

We are here for support.  ((Hugs))

Thank you SO much for this! You have no idea (or maybe you do?) how much this gave me a MUCH needed peace of mind".   Thank you, thank you, thank you.

D&D4Ever7

I understand all your worries and unfortunately this seems like what we experience in PgAL.  I worried a LOT early on in my pregnancy because I had really bad cramps. Close to 7 weeks, my cramps got so bad and I went to ER to make sure everything was ok.  Everytime someone check something, things were ok and I just had to wait and see.  Waiting sucks.  I also had dark brown spotting from 6 to 8 weeks which freaked me out every time.  I actually still get cramping and according to my ob it is due to stretching of uterus as baby grows, so it is totally normal.  My advice to you is the take one day at a time, do some meditation (I did a lot of yoga in first trimester), and when a negative thought enters your mind, tell yourself yourself "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."  This definitely helped me stay sane during the first trimester.  Hugs

Junebug060609

Ditto what Sandy said, your worries seem pretty par for the course for a PgAL'er.  Every one of us has had our paranoid moments, especially early on when there isn't much to go by for symptoms.

I had some period-like cramping in the early days that was mild/moderate.  In fact I remember one particular evening (mine was usually in the PM) that it included back cramps as well and I did a freak out post myself (my m/c started with back cramps).  The ladies here told me this: Mild/moderate cramping, including back cramps, are normal.  I'm still here & I hope the same holds true for you in the long run.  It actually sounds like things are going pretty well for you...great numbers, 'pregnant cervix', even the minor cramping is a good sign as its likely your body adjusting. 

Good luck at your u/s next week!  Until then, repeat the mantra "Today I am pregnant, and I love my baby" and remember that this is not the same pregnancy that you lost...it can still have a wonderful outcome.

jmckeag

Ok seriously, you ladies are amazing! Taking a deep breath now...After all, "today I am pregnant, and I love my baby" :-)

uterusdreams

The previous posters have already given you some great advice, so I won't repeat what they've said... other than to say what you're going through is very normal.  You're still early on, so symptoms may not show up for another few weeks!  Try not to worry and try to relax.  Welcome to the PGAL board - I hope you have a happy & healthy 9 months here!!

MommyandKate

Ditto the PPs, and also make sure you're well hydrated (dehydration can cause cramping sometimes).  Everything will be ok!

JoAnna914

If it makes you feel any better, I'm at 12 weeks and I am still experiencing some light cramping - this kid is tearing me up!  Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes the cramping has nothing to do with stretching, and has more to do with intestinal issues.  The cramping gets way worse when I have become constipated or gassy, and the two types of cramps feel very, very similar (at least to me).

That being said, I totally understand where you're coming from in terms of your nervousness.  I was freaked out until . . . well, I'm still freaked out!  I've just become more calm in expressing it :-)

Karen1998

Ditto what the PPs said.  I still get cramps - at 30 weeks.  I think it's the suckiest of all pregnancy symptoms as it makes us PgAlers freak out.  I just keep reminding myself that cramps are a normal part of the process.  Stay hydrated and keep repeating the PgAL mantra.  Past that, try to keep up the hope as the chances are very good that you'll get your take home baby this time.  If nothing else works, distract yourself with whatever works until your worry subsides a bit. 

Izabella22

You're definitely not alone. My first week I spotted every day and it made me batty and paranoid, I was constantly feeling doom and gloom and waiting for the hammer to fall. I still have those moments but I try to focus on the fact that whatever is going to happen is out of my control, the only and best thing I can do for my baby is to be hopeful for a good outcome and that they will continue to grow and hang in there. I talked to my lo a LOT that first week, I prayed, I journaled, I drank lots of water and took it easy. Its slowly getting easier bit by bit. Hang in there! 

I've had some cramping too but I realized its mostly gas pains from my digestion slowing down. Not sure if that is the case for you, but make sure you get plenty of fiber and water!