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How to handle people not liking your baby name choices?
My sister hates the name i picked if we have a boy. I know a lot of people don't. I'm just curious if anyone had to deal with family not liking the name the chose...how do you handle it?
My thought is once the baby comes the name will fit him or her. I just feel weird about people talking behind my back about it.
Thoughts?
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Re: How to handle people not liking your baby name choices?
Eff 'em.
Before we knew we were having a boy and people asked us if we had names picked out, we would tell them "If it's a boy, William Ross. If it's a girl, Gioia Elizabeth." Generally speaking, William was met with "Aww! I love it!" and Gioia was met with "Joy-ah?" and a blank/neutral expression. Some people flat-out did not like it at all and said so.
Don't care. It's a real name, Monsieur and I think it's beautiful, and when (cross fingers) we have a girl, that will be her name. When they have a kid, they can give it whatever precious trendy name they want. We're sticking with what we love.
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1) Don't tell people the name before the baby is born.
2) Grow a thicker skin.
3) If you really must, say something to the offending family members. "I realize this name might not be your favorite, but it's our child's name. We love him and we love his name, and this is the last time we will be addressing this issue."
FWIW, my grandmother hated two of my brothers' names. For years, she called them by names she liked better rather than by their actual names. My mother told her that it was cruel to the boys, but she didn't really care. Years later, they laugh about it, but none of us has a good relationship with grandma, probably because she is the sort of selfish person who would let a child know that she hated his name.
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My best friend said my daughter's name reminded her of an ear infection. It wasn't the name we had picked at the time she said it. I told her our list and which name was the front runner and she said that. Now that we actually named the baby that she tells me how much she loves the name. I think she hopes I forgot what she said. After her comments, we didn't tell anyone else until after the baby was born.
It made me mad at first but then DH pointed out what she had named her daughter. I think her DD's name is awful so I just figured we have different taste. Who cares what others think. I love my daughter's name and it fits her.
I am curious what name you picked. Will you share?
My parents' response to our baby's name before she was born was, "Oh...where'd THAT come from?" They didn't outright say they didn't like it, but thought it was a bit "out there," especially because traditionally my family uses the same names in each generation.
However, after she arrived, the name couldn't be less important; they can't stop bragging about her, showing her pictures to the world, and say her name proudly to everyone who asks it. Once baby comes, its name will be its name, and people will get used to it and (hopefully) not think too much more about it.
When my mom expressed a strong dislike for boy name I told her we liked I said: "Wow, it sucks that you hate it, but, I have to be honest, I really don't care if you like it or not. I would still use it even if you hate it, so get over it."
But I'm an honest B like that. And really, who cares what they think? It's not their kid. If you love the name (assuming it's normal and spelled correctly), don't let high school gossip stop you from using it.
That's why we don't tell anyone. I know it's too late for that now, but I'd suggest going that route next time. Not much you can do now but tell your sister to shut up about it.
And you should also tell us the name so we can tell you whether people are rightfully concerned or just being annoying.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Even after asking people on here I'm stuck on the names I love and I just can't change them. If it's a boy his name will be Canaan Joseph Stock (KAY-nen) if it's a girl her name will be Cambria Elizabeth Stock (CAM-brie-ah) No one likes the boys name. It's a person and place in the bible. It reminds me of Caden but it's not trendy like Caden. It's really grown on me, i know the spelling is weird but I don't want to change it because I feel like it would be a made up name then. I just really love it, and can't figure out why people think its so weird when Caden is so popular and it's pretty much just an N instead of a D in the middle.
Thanks for sharing your story! I feel better that others go through the same thing.
Tell her if/when she has babies, she can name them whatever she likes. And leave it at that. I will never understand how people think they have the right to comment on the name of a baby that isn't their own. I have plenty of friends with babies named something I'd never use or downright dislike, but they clearly do, and that's what matters.
I was in a really good mood, I'd say "well, aren't you rude?" And walk away. Buuuuut that's me.
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Exactly my sentiments. My MIL already dislikes all the names on our list, especially our front runner because she knows a "bratty little girl" named Zo?.
When we were pregnant with DS #1 and were team green we shared our choices (Reed and Emily). No one said anything mean about the names, but people just weren't excited about them the way that we were (obviously). My mother was the biggest offender. She was sort of ehh about Emily and said that my grandma had wanted her to name my sister Emily, but she just didn't like it (I think it would have MUCH been better than her totally 80s name, Tiffany).
When we were pregnant with DS #2 (team green again). We kept our choices to ourselves. I knew Pierce would throw a lot of people and my mother had flat out told me she hated the name Evelyn (our choice for a girl) when I mentioned it before getting pregnant. I guess it was mostly my mother's opinion that I didn't want to listen to. She says she likes Pierce's name, but who knows. She was really pushing for Kevin..hahahah
Oh, and when my sister had my nephew Leo (who was named after my beloved grandfather) my mother told her in the hospital that there was still time to change their mind before they turned in the paperwork. Now she loves his name and no one could imagine him as anything but Leo.
That's when you say "Well now that image will be replaced with a beloved granddaughter named Zo?. You're welcome."
Great name, btw.
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We didn't share names. But I am and was still aware of the opinions in my family. I just couldn't let it get to me. One aunt of mine really prides herself on having given all of her children very "American" names, like Richard instead of Ricardo, and started talking to me very early in my pregnancy about how it's a real "punishment" to give a child an ethnic name in this country. I just smiled politely, even when I knew our chosen boy name was about as ethnic as you could get (Santiago). We were team Green.
My mother also kept talking about how she was named after her grandmother who was named after her own grandmother, etc. I knew for a fact that we wouldn't be naming a DD after my mother, but I just didn't argue. I kept our chosen girl name to ourselves and sure enough, when DD was born and I announced her name, my mother's first reaction wasn't "congratulations!," it was, "oh, so you didn't want to name her [my name]?" I was kind of hurt because I had just been in labor for 18 straight hours and wanted everyone to be as ecstatic about having a new member of the family as I was, but ultimately, I realize it was her issue, not mine, and I didn't feel I needed to justify or defend my decision. She named me whatever she wanted (not a family name) and my siblings named their children what they wanted, so I didn't feel like I was doing anything hugely controversial.
Ignore them. Everyone has an opinion, that does not mean they need to share it.
My son's name is Maxwell Tristan. My mom hated the name Maxwell and my MIL keep trying to talk us out of Tristan (she wanted Jason instead). They both kept pushing their opinins and my mom went so far as to tell everyone his name was Matthew before he was born. One day I flipped out and told both of them that his name is Maxwell, not Matthew and that I love the name Tristan. I was the one carrying him, therefore I get to name him. They could either accept it or shut the hell up. Even DH got his head bit off for wavering uder their pressure. Now both grnadma's love his name.
Be strong and name your child something you love.
Don't worry about people talking behind your back about it. They'll get over it.
DH and I narrowed 20 names down to 3: Archer, Caleb, and Gideon. EVERYONE loved Caleb, we kept coming back to Gideon every time. Even though my mom "hated" the name when it was on paper, she told me the other day she can't get enough of it now.
FWIW, I actually like Canaan. I have thought about it for future boys, but we're 1 and done so we won't use it. And although we Bumpies opinionated, it's still your baby and not ours.
No one I know is dumb enough to criticize me to my face. I don't care if they are talking about me behind my back because frankly, I did the same thing with a lot of their terrible names.
If you pick a real name that isn't misspelled I wouldn't worry about it; not everyone has the same taste, even sisters.
I kind of thrive on people not liking our name choices. We chose honest to goodness legitimate names for our boys. So, for someone to not like our names means that they are simply not their style.
That's perfect for us because we wanted something that reflected our immediate family's individuality. All that matters is that we love the names and we raise our boys to be proud of them.