School-Aged Children

My 9 year old has a "girlfriend"?

My Mom and I went to my son's 3rd grade awards program in his classroom yesterday. It was so cute to see all the kids dressed nicely for the presentation. Each child was called up and they could read their goals in life, good character traits, likes/dislikes and what they've achieved this year.

We got pictures of my son and he looked so handsome. He wanted to wear a tuxedo because he said it's a special day and that's what tuxes are for. I had to talk him into wearing his brand new blue jeans and a white dress shirt.

He comes up to my Mom and I afterwards and introduces his classmate, Abby. I've seen her many times. She is very pretty and sweet. She and Connor are always together and they are great friends to each other. He tells us "This is my girlfriend, Abby." I smiled but was a little shocked. Her parents were standing next to us and asked if they could take a picture of my son with their daughter. Of course. We wanted the same thing.

Seems Abby talks about Connor all the time at her house. I know he talks about her nonstop at ours. What was news to me is Connor told my Mom last weekend "I have to make great grades in school so I can go to college, get a great job and marry Abby."

I don't really put much stock into the "girlfriend/boyfriend" idea at 9 but I think it's sweet that my son has found someone that likes him for who he is and vice versa.

Are you seeing your school aged kids addressing a classmate as their "girlfriend/boyfriend"? I'm very new to this and want to encourage the great friendship they have but not 'dating' at this point. Any suggestions? Do I just keep reminding him that they are "great friends" and not mention the girlfriend part?

Re: My 9 year old has a "girlfriend"?

  • That's a very cute story!  I would just keep an eye on the situation and remind him that while it's great to have close friends, that there's a lot of time to grow up and meet a lot of friends -- both boys and girls -- along the way.  

    My DD had a crush on a boy in her class through 4th grade and part of 5th grade.  She got the nerve to send him an anonymous candy-gram at Valentine's Day, but got a real wake-up call when he received about 5 of them (all anonymous) and reacted with grumpy embarrassment.  I can only imagine poor Alex's horror at receiving 5 anonymous messages from a bunch of giggling 10 year old girls.

    Shortly after that she gave up on old Alex when she heard him say that the Superbowl was the most important thing in his life and that anyone who didn't care about football was a loser.  In her opinion that made Alex a loser.   

    My DD -- who is a bit of a tomboy -- has always had male and female friends, though, which is kind of nice.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Lurker here,

    I just wanted to say that when I was 6 the neighbour boy came over and asked me in front of my mom if I had a boyfriend yet.  I proceeded to  list every boy I knew including relatives.  They were boys and I considered them friends so they were boyfriends.

    They could just think that is what you call friends of the opposite sex, it may not have to do with dating at all.

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