Am I the only one?
I think and hope this is the best board to pose my question/issue. Have you or your spouse come to the child free decision partly or wholly because of a change of heart in terms of wanting children? If so, how have you dealt with it?
A year ago, DH came home from a 6 mnth deployment saying he didn't think he wanted kids anymore. DH saw therapist 2 times and now says he knows he doesn't want kids and probably never did. WTF? We had ttc & went through 3 failed IUIs and a failed IVF before he deployed. He wanted kids when we were dating & when we got married. I love him so much, but I'm struggling with the idea of not fulfilling my dream of having children and becoming a childless couple simply because of his change of heart.
I understand being child free because you don't want kids or don't want/can't afford/etc ART or adoption. But I don't understand this. Thanks and good luck on your journey!
Re: Am I the only one?
Our situation is quite different from yours, but do you know what led your husband to this decision? Was he tired of getting beat down by failed treatment cycles and thought enough was enough? Did he experience something while deployed that led him to this conclusion? Is he doubting his ability to be a good father? Sounds like you need to get to the root of why he is saying this now. People change sometimes. Good luck hashing things out.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
No. My best friend was married in 2007 to a man who said he did not want children, even before they were married.
She became pregnant right after they were married and miscarried. It was very hard on them (like it would be on any couple). But, she became pregnant again and their son was born in Oct 2008. My friend always talked about wanting a big family with lots of children. Her husband insisted that one child was enough and a compromise for both of them.
Their relationship became rocky in the summer of 2010 and as an "I still love you" gift he said he was willing to have another child to show her that he loves her and they are meant to be together (not a great reason to bring a child into the world...but never the less).
She became pregnant again and their daughter is due in August. When she was 5 months pregnant he left her and said she pressured him into get married and have kids. My friend went into early labour and is on bed rest in the hospital until the baby is born because of all the stress it has caused her and a difficult labour from her son.
My friend's husband not wanting children some what changed their relationship as time went by?and I think my friend though she could change his mind.
Similar situation but not exactly the same...I have no idea what changes peoples minds on having children...could be something they witnessed, finances, not being able to do "me" things as much, work, did he see something over seas that traumatized him (death of a child), friends, health, promiscuity...?