Boys fight their sleep... help

cocojack10

Before bedtime, and most naps, both boys cry and cry before they pass out.  Every night.  As you can imagine it is quite exhausting for DH and me.  I am not opposed for them to CIO, however, DH is a sap and goes in to get them.  

MIL watches boys during the day while I work (PT).  I am very grateful for her.  She retired just to take care of them!  However, it seems like she spends the day trying to put them to sleep... which I don't think they want to sleep.  I tell her to leave them playing, but she swears they need to sleep.  So, she spends the day with someone in her arms, which doesn't help me much when I'm alone (we have a nanny/housekeeper helping her).  Since they are used to being carried during the day, at night they expect the same.

Suggestions?  I have Healthy Sleeping Habits for Twins that pedi recommended, but DH isn't helping implement those "rules."   

MrsLnt

How much is she trying to get them to sleep in a day?  Mine take two naps of 1.5-2h each, and a 45 min or so catnap, that I get them up from no later than 5:30.  Bedtime is between 6:30 and 7:15. 

If she's not letting them sleep enough or at the right times, they could be fighting bedtime because they're overtired.  Or she could be letting them sleep too much, robbing the nighttime sleep.  

Since they are used to being in arms, it may be a hard habit to break at this point. I was really big on not doing that because I knew I'd be alone with them the majority of the time.  When they do both want to be held, I'll bust out the Bjorn and do it that way.  

momtwins19

b4 i answer, i must say, the picture of your boys is too precious. now on to the point

 

your DH needs to leave the house for an hour or so a night. tell him to take a walk or something if he cant handle them CIO. b4 i could put mine down with bottles, i used to send DH on a very long smoke break, and he would call me periodically to ask "are they done yet" in which case i would say Y or N. if this doesnt work for you than DH needs to toughen up and you need to let him know, if he doesnt stop, than he's dealing with them alone while u go out and do something. 

 as for the wanting to be carried all the time thing, that needs to stop immediatly or you will never get any rest. mine were like that too, and then they went through their 4 mo. wakeful period. ugh. tell ur MIL to just put them in the crib, changed and dry, and let them CIO for nap time. if they cry for more than 30-45 min even an hour depending on her tolerance, and yours, than take them out, let them play, and try again. how old are your boys? can they crawl yet? that could be part of the problem. DS got so frustrated before he could crawl that he would just cry and cry and not sleep because he wanted to move so bad, so we had to keep him moving. until we broke him of that, and just let him cry until he learned to crawl. 

 

this may or may not help, but i hope everything works out for ya! GL!

cocojack10

momtwins19:

b4 i answer, i must say, the picture of your boys is too precious. now on to the point

your DH needs to leave the house for an hour or so a night. tell him to take a walk or something if he cant handle them CIO. b4 i could put mine down with bottles, i used to send DH on a very long smoke break, and he would call me periodically to ask "are they done yet" in which case i would say Y or N. if this doesnt work for you than DH needs to toughen up and you need to let him know, if he doesnt stop, than he's dealing with them alone while u go out and do something. 

 as for the wanting to be carried all the time thing, that needs to stop immediatly or you will never get any rest. mine were like that too, and then they went through their 4 mo. wakeful period. ugh. tell ur MIL to just put them in the crib, changed and dry, and let them CIO for nap time. if they cry for more than 30-45 min even an hour depending on her tolerance, and yours, than take them out, let them play, and try again. how old are your boys? can they crawl yet? that could be part of the problem. DS got so frustrated before he could crawl that he would just cry and cry and not sleep because he wanted to move so bad, so we had to keep him moving. until we broke him of that, and just let him cry until he learned to crawl.  

this may or may not help, but i hope everything works out for ya! GL!

MIL would have a heart attack if I told her to let them CIO more than 5 min!  LOL  She'd be the first one in the room to console them... and the nanny would be too.  I'd be the cruel one. 

They aren't crawling yet, but they each have had their own intent to try to do so... I'd say in about 2 wks we'll have mobile babies. 

cocojack10

MrsLnt:

How much is she trying to get them to sleep in a day?  Mine take two naps of 1.5-2h each, and a 45 min or so catnap, that I get them up from no later than 5:30.  Bedtime is between 6:30 and 7:15. 

If she's not letting them sleep enough or at the right times, they could be fighting bedtime because they're overtired.  Or she could be letting them sleep too much, robbing the nighttime sleep.  

Since they are used to being in arms, it may be a hard habit to break at this point. I was really big on not doing that because I knew I'd be alone with them the majority of the time.  When they do both want to be held, I'll bust out the Bjorn and do it that way.  

Honestly, they don't take great naps while I'm not home.  They wake up b/w 7:30-8am, and nap @ 10:30am for 45-60min.  Then they may take a catnap for about 30 min tops!  When I get home, they may sleep another 20 min nap.  We start winding down @ 7:30pm, and that's when all hell breaks lose.  They are overtired... that I agree. 

erinruns

At that age, sleep begets sleep.  They are way overtired and with everyone doing something different, it's no wonder they aren't napping well.  I would figure out a routine and go with it.  It's great that your MIL is helping out, but it sounds like she's causing problems instead of helping.  

You're going to have a few days of rough naps, so figure out who can implement those and go with that person.