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Baby Showers
MIL guest list
Okay, so my mother is throwing me a baby shower. Recently my mom asked me if I knew how many people my MIL would like to invite to it. I told her about 15. Only 2 of these women are family, the rest are friends. If this flies, my shower will have like 45-50 people at it. My mom thinks that my MIL should have a separate shower for her friends since it's going to be too big and she lives an hour away. My mom said she would suggest it to her. Do you think this is reasonable for my mom to do? It's making me a little uncomfortable that someone is asking my MIL to throw another shower, but at the same time, I definitely don't want a huge shower and my mom isn't even inviting that many friends.
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Re: MIL guest list
Can your mom just tell your MIL that as the shower host, she can accommodate X number of guests? I don't think your mom needs to tell MIL to host her own shower. Your mom should just give your MIL a number that will work for her (your mom) and be firm with it. If your MIL wants to invite 15 but can only invite 5, maybe she will get the idea on her own to organize another shower. It's not unreasonable for your mom to put a cap on the number of guests she can handle, and as the host, she is being gracious in allowing your MIL to invite more people at all.
Now if your MIL would like to be a co-host and help organize and fund the shower, that would be a different matter.
You are so right. Great advice. Thank you!
Exactly what I was going to say.
This. No matter how many you invite realistically not all will attend, at least that's what I've come to learn.
This exactly. I would avoid telling your MIL to host her own shower, but simply have your mom stick to a firm headcount she can accommodate. If your MIL really wants to invite more on top of that, she'll get the idea to throw her own or suggest to co-host and chip in for the additional costs.
I am having the same issue but on a greater scale, I put a list together for my mom and MIL of address and people I had from our wedding 2 years ago and it was about 60 all together which is alot I thought but only expected 2/3 to 3/4 to show. My MIL sent my mom a new list of her side saying i missed people which is fine I asked her to do that, but her list is over 50 on her own that now leaves my shower at over 100 people. My mom wants to do 2 showers now but feels bad to suggest it since my MIL already thinks my mom doesnt like her that much for some reason? It is really stressful expecially when it is a surprise because you hear things from everyone but dont actually know what is going on LOL. However (sorry for the rant) in your case I would assume that only 2/3-3/4 will show, so that leaves you with about 35-45 people that wouldnt be too bad. but I agree with others maybe if your mom asks you MIl to help it will take some of the stress of planning and finances off her and then the number will not matter as much. I have been to a few showers in the past 2 years and they all ranged from 25-45 people and it went smoothly! Good luck!
Sorry to hijack your post, OP, but I had to say WHAT THE HELL?! to this. Over 100 people?! Really? Who does your MIL think she is? How many people does the woman know, that she needs to invite that many to her DIL's shower? I think she needs an ettiquette book ASAP. Your mother ABSOLUTELY has the right to say that it exceeds her budget, and that quite honestly, some weddings are not even that large. For financial reasons as well as social courtesy to the guests, this should be broken up into 2 showers. Blame it on the guests- they will not be comfortable at a shower that large where it will be impossible for you or the hosts to properly greet and spend time with everyone, games will be impossible with that number, and forget about how long gift opening will take! sheesh.