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Question about last name
If you gave your child your last name, is the childs father still involved?
My mother wants me to give LO my last name, but I know you know what will hit the fan as soon as that happens because he wants to be an active part of the childs life.
Was just curious because I didn't know if the father signed proof of paternity if it's required his last name be on the birth certificate or not.
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Re: Question about last name
My son has my last name even though his father is fairly active in his life. At first his dad made a little bit of a fuss about it, but we had different circumstances arise that made it clear that I was going to choose my own last name.
His dad's name is on the birth certificate and he signed the proof of paternity, so at least in WI that must not be the case!
In MD if you aren't married, even IF the father signs the birth certificate you don't have to automatically give the baby his last name. I plan to give my daughter my last name. The father isn't happy about it & has threatened to sign over his parental rights & not have anything to do with her. But he hasn't been involved in the pregnancy at all & obviously saying he doesn't care either way about if he's involved, show's me that he's not very reliable. So she'll have my last name.
ETA: i'm not sure why men throw fits & feel like the child isn't theirs if it doesn't have their last name. You can still establish that parental bond if you so desire. Maybe it's an alpha male/territorial thing that women aren't meant to understand lol.
good luck.
A friend of mine actually just told me it would be more hassle then it's worth. I guess the laws in Texas are different. If I know the father, the father signs the paternity paperwork and is on the birth certificate I have to give the baby his last name.
On the other hand, his family has a tradition of boys middle names being the fathers first name, guess it's a good thing there isn't a law about that cuz that isn't happening anymore lol
Thanks for your advice ladies!
I would check with a lawyer about this if you want to give the baby your last name. I could be wrong, but I would think you could name your child whatever you want.
ITA! My ex tried to make the arguement that if we ever decide to work things out it will be such a hassle to change it at that point. Right.. such a pain!
Please! Here it costs like ten dollars..
I also have heard women say they had issues when they are the primary caregivers of the LO and they don't have the same last name. That wasn't a huge factor for me, but I am happy I decided to go this way.
Good luck OP!
Woah Nelly NO! If you are not married to the man you can give that child ANY last name you please in the state of Texas!! Just had this confirmed a few weeks ago.
There have been some cases in my particular county where he can request it to be changed but there have also been cases in my county that he is not allowed to have any females overnight while LO is in his custody unless they are married. But I am from a small county that believes in these type things. So he would have to have the brains to try and have it changed through the court. If any of this makes sense.
Thank you! He apparently has already consulted two lawyers and I have yet to consult one. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get the money for the retainer fee of a lawyer, and he doesn't make that much more then I do so I don't know how the heck he can afford one right now unless they're just crappy.
Well I would get out a phone book and meet with every lawyer that does the first visit free just to meet with you and figure out your intentions. Also this is a great time to ask these questions, questions about what they have seen awarded custody wise, overnight visitation, and all those things that you should not have to stress about during pregnancy. You do not have to pay anything at this visit, just let them know what you are looking for and that you won't need their services for a few months. My lawyer even told me to do this because apparently they will not work with him if they have already met with you. I think she called it conflict of interest.
Also where abouts in TX are you located? I noticed your shortcuts said Dallas.
Right now I'm in Dallas proper, but will be moving to Euless in Tarrant County the first of June. I think once I move I will start calling family lawyers and getting consults with them.
I'm really honestly trying to figure out how he's getting all this information he's come up with because he's not smart enough to know on his own. I know he's consulted two lawyers because he's told me, but if he keeps going back to the same one how are they not charging him yet.
My dad found one that he wants me to contact and her retainer is $1500 and hourly is $300.
Ahhh I C. I am in Burleson which is just South of Fort Worth.
Perhaps he has done online research for the most part but just remember not to worry much. Baby is not here yet so you have plenty of time to worry about the last name. I made that mistake in worrying too much throughout the pregnancy and didn't get to fully enjoy it. I don't know your situation but with my BD and me, we tried to work it out twice and twice he just didn't put up enough effort and was 10x more hormonal than I always putting his friends before the baby and I. The honeymoon phase ended I guess you could say. Enjoy this time!
The last time we were together it was chance number three of him moving back here from another state to be with me. He started paying on an engagement ring and things just turned to poop basically.
After having to spend the day with him at the Dr's office yesterday I'm glad we're not together anymore cuz boy does he get on my nerves lol I didn't want to raise my child in a household full of fighting like I was raised until my parents divorced. I want him to be in his child's life, he's just being very immature about a lot of things right now.