Ugh! some people don't get it.

lottiejen

There are certain people that I have decided not to discuss food allergies with.  My SIL for one.  She always makes comments about my reaction to her allergies will make things worse, or if i chill my dd will be fine, or other comments that make it seem like she has food allergies because of something I did while pregnant.  First of all, I know I shouldn't let her get to me but she does.  Second of all, it's not like I'm a basket case, I stay calm..but I'm not going to knowingly let her have something she's allergic to.  Her dh has anaphylaxis to bee stings, so she should understand allergies.  Since my dd has them to food they are some how different?  I just don't get it.  I tried to educate her, but I think now ive decided it's just better to leave the topic alone....UGH!

magdusia

i'm sorry. i feel like that with my FIL and sometimes SIL.  some people will NEVER get it unless they are going through it or witness a ana reaction.  Which i pray never gets to that point again.

 

orchid8407

Yep, I agree. One I first discovered her food allergies, I just came back to work from maternity leave and obviously was struggling with nursing. Someone said to me "Oh eliminating milk and eggs is easy. Just don't have it" 

Duh, it's not actual milk and eggs that's the problem. It's hidden in everything that's the problem and finding alternatives.

Ugh, I get it!!!

Your SIL is ignorant to food allergies. You have to protect your DD and she doesn't understand the threat that is there. Don't leave DD alone in her care!

carlinlp

Ugh, I'm sorry, some people are just so clueless.  We went a birthday party last month and I called my dd's friends mom to see what they would be serving so I could bring dd a safe alternative.  The mom was shocked and said "How is she allergic to cake?!"  No, she's allergic to some of the ingredients Einstein.  I was nice and didn't say that but she told me I could just give her a smaller piece than the rest of the kids at the party.    Doesn't work that way...

blue33

You will always run into insensitve people. My mother, bless her, did not understand the concept of allergies. She was preparing cream of wheat for my son and put margerine in it. I caught it before he ate any, and said, mom, that has milk in it, he can't have it. She replied, "that is just a tiny bit, it won't hurt him." I said, actually, it could. I sat down and explained to her what the doctor said, and showed her what could happen if he got sick from anaphylaxis on the internet. She was so shocked, and now understands that just a drop could cause him to get sick or flare his eczema. The difference is that I think that your SIL does not WANT to understand food allergies. My mom said she fed me and my sister eggs at 6 months with no problem. We ate what everyone else ate, just pureed, but she is receptive and sensitive to the fact that my son can't do that. Once you have been through a medical emergency due to food allergies, like I have, and  have experienced the fear of not being able to breathe, you can truly understand how important it is to protect your children from substances that appear harmless to those who are not allergic to them.

CareBear0607

I am sorry!  I have people like that in my life too.  I get mad and upset just thinking about things that have been said.  Just know you are the mom and doing everything you can to protect your DD.

EastCoastBride

After having gone through 5 years of infertility, I've already learned the lesson that until someone has to deal w/ the same issue, they really just can't FULLY understand.

How people react obviously differs- some are empathetic and TRY to understand.  But others, your sister included, are just clueless (which is surprising as she does have experience w/ allergies!).

And I'll have to admit- I was once one of those "clueless" people.  A friend's child had serious food allergies.  I tried to understand and be empathetic, but now that I'm dealing w/ our issues - I realize there is a LOT that I just didn't "get". 

Court0026

Honestly, this is such a hot button issue for me that I can't even get into how I feel about other people right now.  I will say that people are equally annoying about Owen's food allergies as they are about DH's (lifetime) and Owen's cat allergies.  I don't know what to tell people, but I will not bring my kid somewhere where nuts are being served and I will not make him suffer with his asthma and cat allergies just because DH's parents did that to DH.  Oh wait, I am getting fired up just thinking about how I am not going to get into it.  LOL.  Walking away, but know you are not alone....

novlove11

It upsets me that people can be so insensitive to food allergies. As someone with food allergies, I know how much that sucks:(

Your SIL is wrong, you have to protect your child, allergies are real & you are doing the right thing!