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Austin Babies
I want to cry...
Forewarning. I will probably DD this later, as I know DH would kill me if he knew his business was on the webs.
Background info: DH is an attorney has been working for the state for four years as of this summer. He is happy there, but we are both feeling the pinch financially and want to start our family, but cannot do so until he is making more money. My new job helped, but maintaining the house seems to eat up any extra info. We turn 31 in June and are really feeling frustrated. He is driving a car that's pretty unsafe and has no AC because he feels like he can't afford a new one right now. It's totally eating at his self-esteem.
Well, then he got a call from a head hunter who had an opportunity (in Houston, but we are willing to look at all our options). He just heard back that he didn't even get an interview because they will only consider people who were in the top 25% of their law class. Even though it was less than a month ago that he beat one of their attorneys at a hearing, he can't get ahead because he struggled in school. He says that this is going to be an issue anywhere and doesn't seem to have faith that he will be able to leave. It's just so disheartening and I feel so bad for him. He works so hard and deserves to be paid for it.
If anyone has any advice, dust, leads for positions for attorneys in env iron men tal law, I'll take it. I know your dust sure helped me before!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I want to cry...
I know that's frustrating. I'm sorry. I am way smarter than my husband ( tee hee) and he makes a ton more than I do because he did a ton better in law school than I did. Unfortunately, it does matter right now since we are in the beginning of our careers. I think, though, eventually, once we get enough experience, that the playing field will be leveled out a little more and those of us who weren't shining stars in school will be compensated for our experience rather than our grades.
Hang in there. For now, just try to be happy that you are in Austin instead of Houston (barf) and that your husband works state hours instead of firm hours. Those two things should never be taken for granted!
Aww, does it help knowing attorneys are suffering everywhere? My cousins graduated law school recently and the only reason they have jobs is luck and working in the family law practice. Maybe ya'll are being too hard on yourselves too? You don't have to have a certain amount of $ in the bank/savings to afford a baby. Don't ask me what we were doing with daycare money before kids because I swore we couldn't afford it but we somehow adjusted our lives to "afford" kids.
So happy we aren't in Houston, I think that would definitely strain our marriage. As for the hours, he works most weekends and has even had many an all nighter because he is involved in so many things at his job. He is losing vacation time because we can't afford to travel much (our big trip this summer is via a free place to stay and free plane tickets) and he can't take the time because he has so much work. He does it because he is hoping it will add to his resume and help get him noticed, but he is getting really frustrated that he isn't getting compensated for all that work. We would both be fine with firm hours if he just got paid for it.
I'm hoping you are right about being compensated later, I'm just ready for later now! Also because he had one attorney tell him he needs to leave the state asap or he will be stuck there and forever designated as such.
Nessia, I'm hoping you are right, but I don't know where we would come up with the money, for daycare, a car, or everyday bills for a baby.
Multiple issues here.
First the car: if his vehicle is unsafe, he needs a new one. Period. Look into financing through your bank or credit union. Unless his credit is terrible, he should be able to get a loan for a new-to-him vehicle, and he should be able to find something safe and decent for under $15K. He could probably even find something less expensive than that. If he financed the vehicle over 5 years, he should have a payment of less than $300 a month. The cheaper the vehicle, the cheaper the loan.
Second, if he's just out of law school and doesn't have a lot of work experience outside of his current job, then yes, unfortunately his school background will play a role in hiring decisions for the time being. But that's not going to last forever. I'd encourage him to make the most of his current job. Take on extra assignments if possible or look into additional opportunities to move up with the state or to bulk up his resume. Is he making the most of networking opportunities? My DH is not a lawyer, but his whole career in video games was made possible in large part because he knew people who could help him get his foot in the door.
As far as finances go, consider writing out your budget and posting it on Money Matters. They are awesome at helping people cut corners on their expenditures. They're pretty conservative as to the $ they think is needed before one has a baby, but they're still a great resource when it comes to budgeting. Are there places you can cut your budget? Cable? Cell phone plans? Eating out? We managed to cut our auto insurance bill in half by switching providers. We also refinanced our vehicle to get a lower rate. It didn't change our monthly payment at all, but we'll pay it off sooner, which works out to quite a bit saved in interest. What is it about the house that is costing a lot? Is there a way to reduce those expenses at all?
Once your DH gets a safe vehicle and you get some budget issues worked out, it may be that having a baby is absolutely doable. In fact, I'd bet that his schedule as an atty with the state is much more conducive to life with young children than it would be if he were working for a big law firm and putting in 90 hours a week. The time that he has now to spend with you and with a child is incredibly valuable, and IMHO, it's worth a lot more than the extra $ you'd both have if he were working 90 hours a week.
I'm with some of the other moms in that I really don't know what we did with all of our $ before we had kids. We really didn't have a huge amount of financial discipline, and we tended to blow a lot of cash just because we had it. You somehow manage to make it all work.
((hugs)) Hang in there. I hope it gets better soon.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
When did you buy your house? Could you refinance to get a lower rate? If you can get an interest rate cut of 1% or more, it'd be worth the hassle.
Good luck & ditto pp's. If you do decide to TTC and get PG, you will find a way to make it work.
Have you ever thought of doing Dave Ramsey? We love some Dave around this house. He really helped us to streamline our budget and cut back on a lot of things while still enjoying our life. Doing his class 3 years ago was the best decision that we ever made. We have a better marriage and a better financial future because of it.
I agree with pp, before you have kids you really have no clue what you do with your money. After you have kids, you just reevaluate and somehow make it at work.
Good luck!!
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Just for the record: Houston is not that bad. The traffic is WAY better here (it actually moves), and housing prices are more affordable. There are ugly parts, no doubt. But if you're in the right area, it is still pretty and has lots of outdoor things you can do. Just sayin'
I'm sorry you're going through this though. We aren't exactly in the place we want to be financially (DH's industry TANKED and he makes about 70% of what he use to make). And most of his friends are engineers, MBAs, or lawyers (most in oil and gas) - which is taxing on him self-esteem wise. But you have to keep your head high and focus on the positive things in your life and the things you have the ability to change (I have to remind myself of this too sometimes).