taking the first step to stay at home?

julesmarie80

How did you make that first step to sah? Was it hard for you to go from the security of a 2 income family to a 1 income family? I started bacl at work when my ds was 3 months old, and I just don't think I can do it anymore. We'd already agreed I would stay home when we have our 3rd child, but I don't think I can do another year away from the baby. He's just growing too fast and I feel like I'm missing out. Things will be tight, but we can manage with 1 income. My issue is just taking that first step; it's scary, especially wondering if I'd be able to get a job when the kids go to school (my degree is in psychology, which is pretty useless unless you get a masters; I ws able to get a job in a school in my son's school district, but this year they changed the expectations to where you need to have a license, so I wouldn't be able to get into this same line of work). I think too much.

nekorayne

You don't think to much, it is a good thing to think ahead. That being said I also think SAHM is a very rewarding thing to do and it has been the best decision for our family.

I am not very worried about finding a job later personally since we are probably not done having kids so I will be a SAHM for a very long time and I think once we are I may want to do something completely different. I guess I'm not the best person to give you advice in the department. Personally I don't think it should stop you from being a SAHM if that is what you want and it would work for your family.

I think the first step is to sit down with DH and make sure you are both on board with this. If you are not sure due to money issues then take a month or two to live on one inclome. Put every penny you make into savings and live on DH's income, if you two are comfortable with it then you are good to go. You made need to make adjustments (cut cable or cheaper phone plan, etc..). It is a safe trail plan when it comes to the budget.

But if both you and DH are ready for you to become a SAHM and you are confident that you can afford it then I say go for it! 

nillian10

we are still discussing the SAH situation. our DD will be born end of august, which a heart defect and will undergo open heart surgery there after. which we've decided that we don't trust anyone enough to take care of her. and that has been the biggest impact on our decision. we are looking at 2 possible solutions, my SO getting a 2nd job or me working from home (provided my work allows it). we can't swing things just on his income currently.

not only do we want to care for our daughter, and not send her off to day care, but i want to be there for all of DS' growing years. i miss SO much with him, and feel he could benefit so much more by being home with him mom.

it is a huge step, but if you feel it's something you should do, then go for it! it'll be an adjustment, but that's life!! GL with your decision

SeaStar430

We made the decision that I would SAH with our 2nd, and then I lost my job when I was only 7 weeks pregnant.  So we got forced into it early without all the savings we had planned on, but I guess it's all part of the plan for us.  Our money situation will be very tight.  No new cars, no HDTV, no iPhone...but we can make it work and I feel lucky that I can be with the babies while they are still babies.

It does feel like a huge, vastly scary leap, but one that we're willing to take.

kcisthebombdotcom

I would only do it if you had at least 4-6 months work of bills in an emergency fund. Kids are expensive, and unexpected emergencies come up all the time. God forbid your DH loses his job, or becomes unable to work due to illness. I know that money isnt everything, but it's so essential to be able to provide food, clothing, shelter, medical care, etc no matter and I think a lot of people learned in this economy that you can go from a good situation to a bad one pretty quickly in terms of finances. No one's job is safe anymore.

I think that if it's tight to make it work, but you have savings to fall back on, it's fine. If you're living paycheck to paycheck now or with minimal savings and then anticipate to live tight, that's a big problem. I would say in that situation work for at least a few more months, bank all of your paycheck into savings so you have money for a rainy day.

GL!

julesmarie80

Thanks for all of the input! We don't have much of a savings at this point. We're not living paycheck to paycheck by any means, but we only have a couple grand in the bank, and we have a rental. That's what makes me the most nervous; a few months with no tenant could break us. One of our options was for me to work this next school year, but to bank all of my paychecks. It's just SOOOO hard to leave him! I haven't been on time once since starting back because I can't tear myself away. If I have to work this is the best job, though, because of Christmas/Spring/Summer breaks, and holidays, and I'm home in less than 10 minutes. I guess a big part of me knows I should wait another year, but there's a bigger part of me that wants to just stay at home and mold my baby. Being responsible sucks

kcisthebombdotcom

julesmarie80:

Thanks for all of the input! We don't have much of a savings at this point. We're not living paycheck to paycheck by any means, but we only have a couple grand in the bank, and we have a rental. That's what makes me the most nervous; a few months with no tenant could break us. One of our options was for me to work this next school year, but to bank all of my paychecks. It's just SOOOO hard to leave him! I haven't been on time once since starting back because I can't tear myself away. If I have to work this is the best job, though, because of Christmas/Spring/Summer breaks, and holidays, and I'm home in less than 10 minutes. I guess a big part of me knows I should wait another year, but there's a bigger part of me that wants to just stay at home and mold my baby. Being responsible sucks

Yeah, that's pretty scary! I don't think SAH is worth sacrificing your livelihood, imo.

Is there a happy medium possibility? If you're a teacher, what about tutoring during nights/weekends to bring in extra money instead of a traditional job? Could DH find a part time job on top of that to help? With doing that, plus cutting back on extras, could you make it all work in the case that god forbid, you lose a tenant unexpectedly or some other financial crisis happens?

almostjennifer

I think there might be some good answers for you in our FAQ at the top right of the page.

For us, we paid off all debt and lived on DH's income prior to me quitting my job. 

Anything is possible, but I wouldn't do it unless you are still able to do these things on DH's income alone after you quit:

Save for retirement (ideally 15% of his income)

Save for your e-fund (until you have at least 3 months of living expenses saved)

Float your rental for a few months without a tenant

Good luck.

JenWhite123

We took a 50% pay cut when I chose to SAH.  Honestly, on paper, it never financially "worked".  Our expenses went down when I quit my job - no more commuting expenses, clothing expenses for me went down, etc.

We did quit eating out, I quit having my hair highlighted, I now cut DH's hair myself, etc. etc.  Basically, before I spend any money, I think "Do we REALLY need this?"

julesmarie80

Where are the faq's? Someone told me to look there before, but I can't figure out where. I thought I found it but it was a fluke.

Liz342

I have a psyc degree too and agree it's useless without a Masters.  I was working as a caseworker at a nonprofit agency before SAH.  When I go back to work one day I'm probably going to go for a school setting and get my Masters in education or reading or something like that.